Perfect imperfection

2011-01-14T21:22:00.001+08:00

http://onlyforblonds.tumblr.com/

i blew it up for you. so don't you dare say -
'why is that stupid bitch not blogging?! she thinks she's too cool for the net, huh?'

2011-01-13T16:03:00.002+08:00

OMFG
I FLIPPED. (NOT LITERALLY)
I JUMPED OFF MY SEAT.
I COVERED MY MOUTH AND SCREAMED.

THERE'S LIKE THIS CONTEST WHERE TAYLOR SWIFT SG FANS MAKE VIDEOS IMITATING TAYLOR SWIFT OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND I WANT TO VIEW ONE EX-CEDARIAN'S ENTRY. HERS WAS A REMAKE OF TAYLOR SWIFT'S YOU BELONG WITH ME. THINK NERD AND BITCH FACE SHARING ONE BOYFRIEND.

AND THE BITCH FACE WAS AMANDA LOW JAY NING.
:OOOOOOOOOOOOO

hence, the reasons why i should not participate in the contest(or any contests)
1. grades > taylor swift
2. i'm going to lose
3. A VIDEO WITH AMANDA'S PRESENCE IS BOUND TO OWN MINE THREE THOUSAND TIMES OVER

so i'll never meet taylor swift in my entire lifepan.

I HATE PHYSICS. FUCK THIS.
-A-

2011-01-10T20:46:00.004+08:00

LET ME GUESS...

THIS is extremely ugly. THIS WOMAN has a face so hideous that it should be hidden from the rest of mankind.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. THIS DRESS SO TREMDENDOUSLY UGLY. is she that poor she has to use her grandmother's curtain to make her dress? seriously, where the fuck is the fashion police? she totally deserves the death penalty.

YEAH BABY, YOU wrote 17 songs on your latest CD ALL BY YOURSELF at 3am in the morning in your tour bus. AND YOU THINK YOU'RE SO PRO? all of us here haven't writen a single song in our lives. you want to try that?

OKAY. I'M BEING SO FUCKING HYPOTHETICAL.

when she says,
"when you're singing, you can hear the echo of people in the audience singing every single word with you, it's the best feeling the world"
she's being such an UNGRATEFUL BITCH. how dare she treats her fans like this.

i'm just putting things into perspective,
(appearances aside) taylor swift wrote more than 100++ songs in her barely a quater lifespan, she produces her own album, she directs her own music video, she chooses the album art, she designs her stage for her tour, she holds 14 and a half hour fan meets, she picks out clothes all by herself, she's doesn't take drugs, hasn't been into rehab, she can play acoustic/classical/electric guitar, the piano and the clarinet.

and she ought to be hated by everyone because she sucks.
just like that.

how impartial.

i'm so fucking angry today i feel like killing a cow.

my mom thinks that studying is one of the easiest thing to do in the world, like sweeping the floor is harder than getting an A1 for chemistry. well, i'm not surprised she never made it to university because studying is so easy it just takes up her valuable time.

'how much did you get for chinese Os?'
'A1.'
'ehhh that time december you borrow 40dollars from me haven't return yet hor. where's my money?!'

and then she starts fucking yelling at me at the non-existent cash management skills that i have. AND THAT MY FUCKING A1 FOR CHINESE HAS LESS WORTH THAN 40DOLLARS.

i'm not being a mean and stuck-up bitch, but i wished my A1 had gone to people who deserved it more than me. not that i'm depressed i didn't get a B3, but people who handed in homework in advance, learn their chinese spelling, memorize chinese pharses like their life depended on it should get this. and parents who will pat on their daughters back telling them they did well deserve to have a daughter with an A1. not my fucking ungrateful mother. not in a million years time.

whatever, i'm not thinking straight. she's like scolding, scolding, scolding for the most inane stuff in the world. why i use a spongebob as a wallet. why i don't sit on the chair when i use the computer. why i want to wear contact lens. why i come home after 630. why i think that spring onions are gross. why must my chem spa file be purple. why cedar is not in the news. why i don't want to put my glass back onto the kitchen table.
THERE'S LIKE AN INFINITE NUMBER OF THINGS SHE CAN FIND FAULT WITH.

and i'm just so fucking tired i don't want to care anymore.

i'm supposed to be embarking on my video project to win a chance to meet taylor swift in the flesh but i'm so _______ (i can't even come up with a word to describe this loss, this devastation, this hopelessness in me) i don't know how to do anything already.

people will probably never get it why i love adrian ivashkov so much because on the exterior, i only find his extremely appealing and he's like scoring hundred points on the sexual board or something like that. but i see so much of myself in him. he indulges in cigarettes and alcohol to down his trouble, he has like fucking terrible parents who chants 'all that i do is good for you', he completely throws himself, dedicates his entire life, present his raw heart on a tray to a girl who doesn't even return his feelings and cheats on him. and he finds that life is pointless, is meaningless.

goddamnit, i can't drink tonight or else i'll have a bloody bad hangover during double bio tomorrow.
but then again, who cares.

i want to blog about something happy, but it's just not coming up.
i feel like changing to tumblr.

-A-

2011-01-09T15:03:00.002+08:00

HE'S SO FUCKING HOT WITH A CAPITAL H.

OH CHRIS COLFER, I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES.
-A-

2011-01-08T12:01:00.004+08:00

this was like what, two years ago? thank god we've all grown prettier.

FUNG;
we've been gay shit partners for three years. that's like one thousand and ninety five days (pardon if' it's wrong, i failed both maths for an apparent reason) together.

our friendship's like a cosine graph, there's always ups and downs because i'm a bitch like that even when i was in sec one and i don't know why my hobby was to like hate you or something along those lines? but holy cow, boy am i grateful we made up at the world's stupidest times like home econs lessons because i forgot that i hated you and we had too much fun baking? and all the senior stalking - people pointed their talons at us, criticized us, seniors were freaked out by us, and all that crazy shit. and i remember i hated you before the cameron highlands trip but in the end, i had the TIME OF MY LIFE. failed ballroom dancing on the hotel car park, camwhoring on roads at 7am in the morning,gossiping in the freezing midnight air on the balcony, you and yixin singing to me in the bus because i'm a coward and i couldn't stand mountainous roads.

it's stuff like this make me not want to grow up.

thanks for all the nice stuff you said to me on my blog. words are something that either make or break my heart and in your case, it's the former. also thankyou for standing by me against your closest friends because i meant something to you.

and try to get through all the i-hate-my-parents trouble you're going through right now. problems like this are only going to make you stronger. and for the record, my doors are always welcome to you if you decided to runaway from home or something like that(: and you can pick me up as a chem-homework completor also!

you stupid bloody little bitch;

now since i've realized that i'm not the only one who hates you to the goddamned core of this planet, i'm more than relieved that people are being two-faced to you. because that's what you fucking deserve. you think you're pretty when you're not. you think you're smart when you're not. you think you're oh-so-popular and all men on earth will drop to their knees to kiss your ass when you're not. you think you're so fucking talented that all celebrities in the world should just retire cause you're way more awesome when you're not.

and the best part of it is that you think i'm gross. just because i dress like a slut does not make me a slut. just because i read books about whores doesn't make me one. and just because i play nice doesn't mean i like you.

so why don't you hurry up down that little path and go back home crying to mummy because you can't stand me talking bad about poor you little princess. and stop trying to show off your non-existent talent in front of me. sorry sweetie, it doesn't work that way. i regret to inform you that i'm prettier than you, smarter than you and more talented than you. oh and dancer- wannabes are especially most hated by we the dancers ourselves. thought you might want to know.

and from the above two paragraphs, you must think that i'm bipolar or have a split personality. but it's just a little warning that if you treat me nice, i'm all your slave baby but if you try to talk bad about my CCA or just irk me with your pathetic looking face, oh bitch, bring it on.

i don't know why everyone suddenly caught the news (kudos facebook, i really hate you this time) on the dancers' photoshoot but the nice people are offering compliments and naturally, i say 'THANKYOU'. because that's the polite thing to do. it's called manners. not because i love myself too much and i think i should totally go be model because my nose is so pretty my eyes are so mesmerizing they kill a man or something like that. so you, stop sneering.

Now I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is that
I don't know how to be something you miss
Never thought we'd have a last kiss

So I'll watch you live in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are

You can place for a change in weather and time
But I never planned on you changing your mind

love is the person you think of when you listen to sad songs.
and my darling, it's you.

yy asked me that day how do you know when you know you like someone.
and i gave the standard he's-on-your-mind-all-time-you-feel-all-high-and-dizzy-after-you-talked-to-him answer.
now i wished i had said 'i don't know'.

me+seet+yy were at lunch/failed studying yesterday and we were totally discussing about the people i hate which includes the stupid bloody little bitch (refer to above) and i realized i'm hating/hated way too many people. i'd never kept a list of such stuff and it frightens me that more than half of the people i hated were the people i love. and it's because of the fact that i love them too much, they can wreck havoc to my life, turn me into nothing but a wisp of misery, flip my heart inside out, leaving me hanging there because i never knew where i stood in their life.

i just wrote my english homework - reflections about myself. it took me nothing more than eight minutes to type the six hundred word long essay but took me twenty minutes to cut down its size because i'm sure the head of discipline wouldn't want to hear about how much i fantasize on a daily basis about standing on a stage, doing the thing i love or how i'm a loser because i still hold onto the that thread of hope that fairytale endings. i should totally learn to stop expressing myself through writing - it exposes way too much.

-A-

2011-01-07T22:22:00.002+08:00

FOR SUCKER FOONG,
since i'll never get quinn and you'll never get chang, they should totally be a pair!

She,
She is the words that I can't find
How can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive
And I couldn't speak
I couldn't breathe to save my life
All of my chances swim like sinking ships
This time it's it
I'll drown or make her mind

i'm hooked onto this bloody marvellous song and no, if you were wondering, i'm not a lesbian just because i post lyrics of a song of a boy singing this to a girl.

STUPID 8OCLOCK SHOW.
i don't even get the goddamned ending. DID ZOU JIEMING LIKE DIE OR WHAT. i'd swear to god if i ever find out who's the screenwriter, i will snap his/her neck. what kind of morals are they teaching anyway. epic-gun-spams-are-fun and autistic people should be killed?

you stupid fucking asshole.
how long did i take to forget you?

-A-

2011-01-06T21:07:00.002+08:00

i forgot to mention that it's only the 6th day of 2011 and i've already failed my #10 on my resolutions wishlist, which is to NOT get caught for a short skirt.

:(

2011-01-06T20:32:00.006+08:00

it's not my fault but making fun of bieber is where i derive sadistic pleasure from.
and given how much shit the first three days of school has dealt me with, LIKE HELL I DESERVE THE RIGHT.

YAYYYYYYY!
AMATH DIAGONSTICS ARE LIKE FINALLY OVER!
so now it's just to sit around and wait with chattering teeth for our results.
just so yknow, god, i'm not asking for alot.

but even if i fail, YOU, YOU AND YOU (namely teachers) do not have the right to wriggle your manicured fingers and me said 'YOU DID NOT STUDY' well. maybe you could if you don't consider waking up at 4am to mug before the test, doing the log questions thrice even though you hate it, bribing the smartest math geniuses of your class with subway and bubble tea to play tuition teacher, break down because trigo's a pain in the ass as studying.

and maybe i'm just not destined to be good at math.

school = identity crsis.
PLAY IT BACK, DEEJAY, PLAY IT BACK.
i'm rewinding the goddamned am-i-a-true-blue-trip-sci-kid-or-am-i-secretly-a-fun-loving-person all fucking over again.

LAURA LIM KAR MIN;
yessss, look here! i'm blogging about you and not how magnificent i am and how i deserve kudos for my exemplary record in 2010. i'm really serious about CONTEMPLATING to dedicate a picture and a paragraph to you since you've had made such a significant impact on life. especially after all the fightings and fallouts and the let-me-sacrifice-my-small-self-for-greater-good, you'd think i'm that heartless to erase your pretty little face off my mind or something? nah, sweetie, i'm not a jellyfish. anyway, you'll get what you deserve even though i am utterly at a loss because i have no idea what to type on my keyboard. 'thankyou kar min for always rejecting me and shoving me down the staris even though i abandon my friends all in your name' how does that sound? AND I NEED A PHOTO FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. which subtly translates to, take a picture with me!

I HATE SCHOOL.
does this paint a picture clear enough about my bubbling hatred and anger i nurse against my educational institute?

seriously, i hate being a secfour.
because suddenly everything has morphed into nothing but numbers. students are nothing but just another soccer ball that they need to go through the goalpost, which ultimately is that 1.0 that everyone raves and punches their fist into the air about. how they go on about pupil's welfare when all they do is force us into sleeping at 2am and lengthening our schools hours just because the school's board cool like that. and no, i don't blame the teachers because all that they're doing is to get money to pay for petrol and electricity bills. (ohgod, when did i become so compassionate, kind and caring towards my teachers?)

and lessons are like a lullaby.
it's a perfect wonder how i'm still suffering from insonmia.

talking to seet and yy today set my mind wild again (what's new, dudette)

they were talking about living dreams, goals and aspirations, how yy wanted to set up a dance troupe which i conveniently suggested the name 'spongebob dance crew' which earned awkward silence from the pair (it's not my fault that i only have pancreatic juices and no creativity flowing through my empty skull) and how we couldn't picture ourselves sitting in front of a computer doing data entry or being an accountant or yy being a nurse and when her patient asks her if an injection will hurt, she'll timely reply 'most probably yes. BECAUSE I SUCK' and how i should not become a doctor and go apply for a job at the haunted house because margie thinks i'm scary.

sighhhhhs. this is what our 'first-class' education system that has earned us a fifth position in the world has done to kids of singapore. all they can visualize is themselves sitting at a desk, copying down the homework which is on page 264 of the chemistry textbook.

i don't like the way i crafted this blog post. it's so cold that when you read it you should get a frostbite. no 'HAHAHA' no stupid lame algae jokes no making fun of a certain teacher cause students are cool like that. no, no, no, nothing. THIS IS WHAT SCHOOL DOES. degenerates my non-existent brain.

"I think so too."

-A-

2011-01-01T11:29:00.004+08:00

what could be a better way to start the new year than a picture of the world's most beautiful girl?
*winks*

2011:
(okay i don't know if you're supposed to make resolutions before the new year starts or on the big day itself. zero idea. but just make one, in your mind, it won't kill alot of brain cells. don't make a lame bullshit one like 'i want to be a better person' because that will never work)

1. make sure that my hair parts correctly most of the time
2. ask the self-control factory somewhere in the clouds for god's sake, to lend me hand with self-discipline
3. STOP HATING PEOPLE. it's bad for my heart health.
4. get a single-digit score for Os. and pass both my maths (if i'm even taking amath for the exam)
5. learn to hand in homework
6. after fifteen years of sad existence, please let me learn to play the piano. i'm not asking for three million euros, this is really very insignificant but means a whole world to me.
7. MEET TAYLOR SWIFT! (you know she kisses boys and poses for their pictures, i'm wondering can i get that treatment too?)
8. get over stupid crushes/lovers in 2010.
9. blend in. individuality is so last year.
10. not get caught for short skirt.

i just realized i never asked for something called happiness. maybe because i know i'll never attain it or that i know that depression and insonmia will continue haunting me for the rest of my life?

DANISE;
you'll get your post soon! i promise(:

DAPH;
iloveyou too. and i think i know why we don't have fantastic love lives and family ties and stuff and look at how you want a boyfriend and how i want to get over the ghosts of my lovers' past or something like that. CAUSE WE HAVE THE SAME HOROSCOPE! our prediction for 2011 goes something like this:

'expect more testing on the self-love scales as you're called to evaluate which relationships pan out in a close to equal and take ratio and which you completely suck you dry. it's high time you know your value, leo: no more settling and definitely no more desperate mesasures. but the good knews is that you're learning to stand up and voice your romantic needs. no long will you fall prey yo the trap of giving in hopes of getting - and that makes all the difference.'

hey, so what does that mean, the crystal ball wasn't very clear, should we be optimistic or pessimistic about our future?

YY;
HAHAHAHAHA you know you look so young in that picture i thought you were lorraine -.- i had to go magnify and make sure it was you so i didn't throw my face away. but you looked really happy to pose for the camera anyway! isn't that good? SQUARE ROLLERCOASTERS FTW! I MAKE THE IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE(((:

yay. going out to eat = chance to dress up.

-A-

2010-12-31T19:01:00.002+08:00

2010:

kudos/sorrys/regrets/thankyous. i'm going to say them all today.

(i'd congratulate you if you actually finish reading this one helluva post cause it's bloody long. don't say i never warned you)

in no order of importance in my life...

TAYLOR SWIFT!
thankyou for being a non-stop inspiration. all that you've done eg. drying my tears when i sing songs like 'tied together with a smile' and 'brought up that way', whispering in my ear telling me that i'm not alone and forever encouraging me in love, in life, in everything in EVERY single one of your songs. you are the light in my life that made me take the first step in pursuing what i truly love and not what others want to see in me. for all the above, THANKYOU.

GLEE!
HAHAHAHAHAH. what the shit is this, you must be thinking. actually i also don't know. i started watching GLEE this year so here it is. saying thankyou to a television programme is really weird but whatever. thankyou for being a prime-time entertainment for me even though it distracts me from my homework, for introducing me to the two of the world's best people - dianna agron and chris colfer, and to alot of songs i never knew like livin' on a prayer, dream on and stuff. PLEASE DO A TAYLOR SWIFT EPISODE. LET ME DIE IN PEACE.

AHFOONG!
i didn't use a letter Y like yay! ohdamnit, i just realized 'yay' has 2 Ys in it. being my friend must be a tough call. so i really appreciate you sticking by me 99 percent of the time, swallowing down your bubbling anger whenever i'm late, racking your brains when you try to teach me math and for all the times that we fight over stupid shit like square rollercoasters. seriously, how do you stand me? i'm probably known as the world gay-est, lame-st, dumbest, blond-est piece of shit friend ever existed on the face of earth. congrats on surviving a year with me, through all the broadway, chinese drumming, cedar shi-dae OH AND SLEEPING NEXT TO ME DURING DANCE CHALET - i'm pretty surprised you woke up alive.

DEAFKNEE!
apologies before the thanks because i've done more harmful things that you've done awesome things, especially since our last conversation ended on a sour note. you should probably attempt to murder me. or maybe not, cause SPCA will come after you. get it? IMMA BITCH. bitch for throwing away a friendship over stupid thing, maybe you were right after all about the 'petty' part of me. bitch for being such a bitch when you didn't deserve it at all. A TRULY GENUINE HEARTFELT SORRY goes all out to you, daph. and thanks for sharing my emotional burden even though you must already feel that the entire world is pivoting on your back. and your secrets are safe with me, without a single doubt. cross your heart and prepare to die.

PX!
she's probably never going to read this but she's made such a significant impact on my 2010 i thought she deserves this as much as taylor swift deserved those 4 grammys. px, you would be the world's best math teacher if miss chin didn't exist! heh. thankyou for making me laugh at the world's most ridiculous stuff because science teachers are so boring, they cure my insonmia. thankyou for lending me your correction tape all the time and getting me a birthday present because that's really woah from you. thankyou for lending me your math and chinese homework too! and of course, for trying to answer my incessant questions about what the hell is miss chin talking about during amath and perpetually getting scolding from jai just because i keep on turing back to chat with you.

DANISE!
oh holy cow, i wouldn't know what to do if i hadn't had you, small-eyes! thankyou for constantly being there to respond to my stupid make-up talk and buzzing over new look's new collection of high heels. you've been there for me ever since sec1 and i'm praying you won't stop or else no one would go do nails with me anymore): and thank milky for me too because she's one dog that's bringing me one step closer to not being afraid of the same class of animals that jacob black come from. and your mom too because she's really nice and awesome (totally algae, what happened to your wide vocabulary)

AI-TING!
FROZEN LESBIAN, out of the stuff that we've done together i would have to say late-night msn convos are the ultimate best. sometimes i close the chat window totally amazed at what bizzare stuff we actually talk about. like seriously. so that's a kudos for being my midnight entertainment. and help me thank your mom because she's like the one and only person in my fan club. HAHAHAHA. and thank yourself too because you were really one great cow and principal of the LJC.

KWEESTAL!
i offer my most sincere apologies that i couldn't put up a pretty picture of your pretty face because we haven't taken that many nice pictures this year. but thankgod celine tan rescued me with my masterpiece that i did on some study date that i crashed. anyway, thankyou because you've got to be the most generous friend i've ever had. you've given/going to give me like the most expensive presents i've ever recieved eg. the phone that i totally lost in the confines of my own home because i'm me? and even though we're not as close as we used to be, walking around aimlessly in the sec three level bitching and me watching you hyperventilate about your cutest is nothing but a memory worth remembering.

TSANG!
hey you! go read one of my previous posts about how much i adored our last conversation together about you raping rollercoasters and really retarded but fun stuff. for you again, it's apologies before the flowers. i know i haven't been the nicest person on your list this year but you never returned those actions and instead you showed me what a good friend would act like. talking make-up and camwhoring turned out to be the elctrostatic bonds that held us together. chinese drumming and cedar shi-dae made us closer because you're really retarded and i respond to such people in a good way. so thankyou! and we've got another year ahead us together as classmates.

SEET!
another person that wouldn't be reading my blog. but here goes nothing: thankyou for playing a big role in my timetable because you are always up for impromptu study dates and macdonald lunches because you're cool like that. and apart from eating and failed studying, you're another dancer who i constantly engage you in make-up talk because people like yy and irene would never understand what i'm talking about. so, all i've got to say is a big THANKYOU and we will continue studying hard next year or rather the day before the bio paper on the phone, strive hard for top40!

THE GANG!
AKA the 3I kias that i'm forever hanging around with. kudos for margie, wanxin, crystal for making my recess time more awesome with the really retarded but entertaining stuff that you guys do. thankyou for letting me taste a slice of what a double science kid's life would be like and of course, entrusting your trust (?!) in me when it came to planning yy's birthday bash and thankfully, it passed with flying colors!

3M!
(and miss chin)

oh dang, i just realized someone rather unpleasant is in this picture): but nevermind, the spotlight's on my beloved classmates anyway. so, 3M taught me what major mugging meant in a nerd's eyes and whatever others may say about how our class is extremely mugger but we know we have fun in class singing stupid songs in chloe's iphone, making fun of px, calling haseena sabo cause we're cool, purposely going against the chen's and chia's wishes when we're in the lab cause aiqian's the world's best lab partner and disturbing peyling and yuyu (alien + monster = aster/monlian). and thankyou to the scholars for showing me the side that others would have never seen. you guys are just plain awesome and major intelligence condensed into your brain.

and since miss chin is inside, let me do this like a macvalue meal. miss chin is the best teacher i've had this year and even though i totally disappointed her like hell with my fantastic D7 and many underlines on my report book for amath, she's the best math teacher cedar has and i will ever have because learning how to cope with such a dumb and partially annoying student is no easy feat.

MY JUNIORS!
ohdamn i must be impartial and not show any favourtism even though i'm pretty damn tempted to do so. THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU, you guys deserve more because they're like so many of you. for some of you, thankyou for putting up with such a terrible senior like me. and apologies if i've been bossy or mean to anyone in particular. my bad.

YOG PPL!
performing in front of a thirty thousand strong crowd does not make the YOG experience as memorable as hanging out with really cool people. sitting around and being bored to tears at the F1 pit does not make me sad when i finally put 14th august behind me. it's really the people and the stuff we do that makes this whole thing a once-in-a-lifetime experience. so thankyou to the people who contributed to such a lovely memory especially my chinese drumming teacher, ian/yongqiang/jason, dancers esp. yy and celine. and i would say nigel not because i've fallen head over heels for him. it's just that i'd never thought that teaching a boy the nobody dance was expected of me when i was forced into this thing. and a slight smile always escapes my lips when i think of that. but a big smile totally shines through when i recall of performing with fireworks behind me and being dangled above the ground like grasshoppers.

ME!
okay, i know no one thanks themselves before they kiss their precious little statue in front of thousands watching a live telecast. but i want to thank myself because i'm glad that i didn't make rash decisions in the heat of the situtation, for not ending my life when i could, for not throwing away everything, for not building up walls to keep the closest of my friends away.

2010 has been ... ENCHANTING.

(no, i'm not going to use awesome because it's so normal)

-A-

2010-12-31T16:16:00.003+08:00

i've been toying with the idea of doing the "best of 2010" kind of series on my blog where we all break down top 10 movie quotes of the year, best break-ups, best couples, best dress on a red carpet and stuff. i was kind of keen on the idea of top 10 celebrities of the year, but then i kind of realized that my list would look like this -->

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10. taylor swift
9. taylor swift
8. taylor swift
7. taylor swift
6. taylor swift
5. taylor swift
4. taylor swift
3. taylor swift
2. taylor swift
1. TAYLOR SWIFT?

HAHAHAHAHAH okay i know i'm damn bored but inspiration's not flowing for my new year's eve post. you know big day of the year. where we can do all the shit we want, belt out all the apologies we didn't do in the past 364 days, say thankyou arigatou and xie xie even if we don't mean it because it's politically correct and scold all the bitches that have screwed your life up this 2010 and promise to take revenge by 2011 because the world's going to end soon.

(seriously, just look at that. is there a single music video where taylor swift does NOT look amazingly flawless?)

-A-

2010-12-30T11:12:00.004+08:00

♥♥♥♥♥
chanel iman = hot like WOAH

THE VICTORIA'S SECRET FASHION SHOW JUST BLEW MY MIND AWAY.
drop-dead gorgeous people, awesome music, fantastical costumes.
♥

as of now, i have 50++ taylor swift songs on my itunes on continuous replay. and i thought she was the most talented woman ever known to mankind alrd. but guess what, she actually has 78 unreleased songs. so if i do the math, she writes like 130 songs in her short career lifepsan of 9 years.
and the songs are obviously BEAUTIFUL.

one of my greatest life lessons i've learnt from a fictional character was to: never trust anybody with your heart. because all people do is to sacrifice someone else to save their own necks. and when you present your heart, your innermost secrets, your trust, they just run it through the paper shredding machine. and no one will stand by you through your darkest moment cause they will be so caught up in their little mindless problems. no lover, no friend, no trusted family member.

and it's totally not my fault that i've learnt to be so distrusting and skeptical of the world around me. who i am now is shaped by the people around me. they taught me that betrayal is nothing but a natural instinct. backstabbing, bitchslapping are not more than just daily occurances. people sit on thrones of lies and specualation and gossipe is rife.

you guys pushed me into this. don't say there ain't a warning.

-A-

2010-12-30T00:02:00.000+08:00

yknow i think sending out white doves and putting down my mind to think really hard to come up with shoutouts for fellow friends isn't the way i blog.
it just ain't me.
i'm not so benevolent, kind, compassionate and caring. totally should stick to putting people down, bitching, gossiping cause that's the way we run, baby.

#399
(no this is not the bullshit facebook-msg-me-a-number-and-i-will-let-you-know-what-i-think-of-you)

because in the end, it all just comes down to i'm not good enough. even if it isn't, you show it. no, you simply radiate it. the way you put her before me. the way she seems to stand on your side on every single matter anyone brought up. the way you're become the exact monster that you once thought of as repulsive. the way i'd give up alot of things for you. this whole fucking thing just irks my every single nerve in my body.

you put up walls and paint them all a shade a gray/ and i stood there lovin' you and wished them all away/ oh what a shame/ what a rainy ending given to a perfect day/ every smile you fake is so condescending
these are the perfect lyrics i would sing to you

thankyou celinetsang,
today's msn conversation with you was one of the best i've had this week.

no matter how much i cry, the overcast skies are not going to clear.
no matter how many sad songs i blast, the lightning just won't stop hitting.
no matter how much i curse, the rumbles of thunder will go on and haunt me.
no matter how much i pray and hope and wish everything away,

i think i should just go and study fucking chem cause i'm already so fucking stupid and if i want to pass fucking diagonstics, i better pull up my socks and dig the goddamned textbook out because i can't believe everything's slipping away like that.

#968
taylor swift doesn't write emotional break-up songs because she wants the media to sit up, listen to her, and run stories for the next three weeks about her. for fuck's sake, i don't blog about emotional shit and wait for people to sympathize with me and pick me up and murmur sweet endearments to me. that's like so overrated.

(my mom just won't stop nagging. my brother won't stop harassing me. my grades just won't stop plummeting. my homework will not miraculously be done. i will not turn into the world's next greatest talent. and you won't be coming back. not today, not till forever is over)

-A-

2010-12-29T17:41:00.003+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHA so whadya think of my artwork?
this is what happen when you break up with taylor swift, JOE, hope you learnt your lesson.

god, i need to be studying.
not playing with photoshop and secretly disfiguring taylor swift's ex boyfriends.

-A-

2010-12-29T12:39:00.003+08:00

that's my beautiful baby girl,
her smile never fails to take me to another planet.

ADRIAN IVASHKOV

"I need you," said Lissa.
"I hear that from women alot." said Adrian.

ohgod, just his name is enough to melt me into a puddle of lust or something like that. YOM YA-DAH YA-DAH YA-DAH I KNOW IRENE NG & FOONG, HE'S NON-EXISTENT. but still,):

okay, let's do the let's-use-as-many-adjectives thing again! by the way, i don't use the dictionary or cheat sheet or anything like that. these words are conjured by me thinking of that person. i only used the dictionary because i couldn't spell resplendent and i spelt it wrongly on my facebook status. pathetic. anyway, here it goes-

Adrian Ivashkov is sinfully sexy, sensual, scintillating, tantilizing, titillating,drop-dead gorgeous, inviting, aphrodisiac, passionate, romantic, naturally charming, enticing, covetable, stimulating, indulging, scorching hot, intoxicating, lascivious, provocative, a true Adonis come to life, chivalrous, devastatingly handsome and MINE.

fine, i cheated. i needed one more adjective so adrian would be a tad awesome-r than yy. i don't even know what aphrodisiac means. it doesn't even sound sexy even though its definition is a food, drink or drug that makes you want to have sex. HAHAHAHAHA.

DAPHNE!
since you said this makes you feel better, i'm trying my luck for a second time especially when i know you don't exactly feel like the most blessed person ever known to mankind now.

well, i'm not the world's best person to offer inspirational philosophy but life is just a series of tests we all have to go through one way or another. no one gets the better end of the stick. you'd think that we have it easier than the sub-saharan africans because we have food to eat and a roof over our heads but at the same time, we have to solve simualtaneous equations and know what shit people put into blast furnaces. you'd think obama would have it easier than us because well he lives in a house that's a tourist attraction, he's a tourist attaction himself, and he's got more money that could ever fit into his pockets, but he faces the protests of millions and the pressure on him because his decisions would make or break the country.

okay, that totally did not illustrate what i had in mind. i'm really terrible at this and i totally need a crash course.

instead of beating round the bush, what i wanted to say is that. you're not alone. there are thousands, maybe millions out there, who have stood in the very same shoes you're in right now. they may have ran away from the problem, cried about it, or faced it headfirst, fearless. and some of them made it through and came out stronger, some of them left this fiasco scarred but what i believe is that you'll get through this anyway. and if you ever feel lost or need someone to talk to, text us. i know i'm here for you.

i could have summarized everything with just three words. just stay strong.
how lame can i get?

YOU
why do you have to so bloody annoying sometimes? like do you have to act as if you owned this world and the entire fucking human population breathe because of your existence. sometimes, i don't even know i bother to try to swallow everything back into my throat and act as if i love you to the bits and fawn over you like you're some angel. but i'm learning to be nice, learning to stop hating people. and i guess you're my common test.

and damn it, i need to get an A1.

i feel like i need to rewrite my autobiography AKA my little profile shit that no one reads. i know taylor swift redid hers and she could have written a biology essay about her anatomy and her the cardiac cycle in details and the would have less words than her little know-more-about-me. should i?

but what i really need to learn to do is learn how to blog normally. like seriously, i'm thorougly convinced that the only people who actually read this is like yy, irene, denise, daphne. and that's because what they tag?! my tagboard looks as if it's by invitation only and dancers are like some VIP clients or what. not that it's a bad thing, sweetchicks.

sometimes, i don't even know who am i blogging for these days. my posts don't even make the slightest sense. and my blogging method or technique whatever is like i just switch on my laptop and type shit because i feel like it. people type stuff like hi-i-woke-up-at-seven-am-and-had-ham-and-eggs-for-breakfast-then-i-went-to-claudia's-house-to-play-barbie or something along those lines. mine's just idk, major bitching, major swooning and sighing over my respective idols example taylor swift, adrian ivashkov, dianna agron, chris colfer... and yeah. is that boring? someone needs to let me know.

but in the meantime, here's my attempt at blogging like a normal person.

YAY. we had a dancer's photoshoot ystd. we met up at candy empire at 1045 then we walked to harbourfront and had lunch and tried to do homework but it was a complete failure! i ate a chicken burger (it tasted amazing) and stole yy's fries then OHGOD. I CANNOT DO THIS. I SOUND AS IF I'M WRITING TO MY DIARY WHICH IS NAMED AFTER MY CAT.

what was enjoyable: the photoshoot? like duh. oh, and making mean jokes about the african people and the pope and his sex life. is that like illegal? okay, maybe i shouldn't have typed that.

oh and despite what people think and tend to conjure up without even knowing me, i certainly do NOT enjoy basking in the spotlight. the photoshoot taught me this basic fact about myself the hard way. camera flashes gave me a throbbing headache. smiling non-stop for three hours straight is going to give me premature wrinkle. fighting for the better spot on the camera does not do that for me either. i think i'm just going to stick to my camwhoring. if being a superstar is that much of a tremendous pain, how the hell does taylor swift do it?

maybe stars can do it because they're prettyyyyyyy. and i'm not. like as if no one knew that.

bloodyhell, this post is so damn long. and i have alot to say idk why):
maybe another post at night. another chance to post a taylor swift, so why not?
(:

-A-

2010-12-27T12:47:00.004+08:00

DAPH! this is for you.
now you don't need to download the taylor swift font to view it.
so, is it as curvy and glamorous as you'd expected?

I guess it's true that love was all you wanted
Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change
Hoping it will end up in his pocket
But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain

Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go... and no one knows
That you cry, but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

;
if you forwarded me a text last night, then you're probably this little paragraph's audience. yknow, before we had the confessions-of-a-loveaholic talk in the train station, i'd never expected that you bottled up so much stuff in you. bloody hell, i'm taking such a long time to think what i want to say you. i guess i'm really terrible at words. i should probably write you a song or something, maybe i'll have an easier time with that and hence the quote quote from taylor swift.

but anyway, don't let what she says interfere with who you want to see when you look into the mirror. don't let her words shape what's really inside you. it's not your fault that she cannot reciprocate the friendship you're offering her. plus, no one placed an age restriction on friends and even though i may not be holding up a banner and starting up a rally to support your 'lifestyle choices', but if it makes you happy, why not? and no one places their real self on facebook. it's just a stupid social network that zuckerberg earns millions from where people put their fake ages, fake school, fake martial status there. no big deal, sweetheart.

(and i hope that i picked the correct song lyrics because i'm really having a hard time trying to 'read' people)

i'm going to go with irene's defintion of holiday homework.
which translates to CHINESE HOMEWORK IS NOT HOMEWORK.
and that means i've finished my entire set of holiday homework except for half of amath cause i'm a stupid bitch like that and yy's going to have a hard time attempting to be my math tutor on tuesday morning.

've been watching alot of videos on youtube.
(godamnit, boxing day should be renamed as boring day)

yy says that watching dance video inspires her, make her want to wake up each morning ready to be a better dance, somewhere along those lines. but how come it doesn't work that way for me?

i'm not exactly or anywhere near being a music prodigy but at fifteen, i'm willing to learn. i forsee myself fifteen years down the road asking my friends who are married and with child to recommend a good music school and they would say that i don't have kids (like duh) and i would say 'it's never too late to stop learning'. i want to pick up the piano - my lifelong dream -, i want to learn to play the violin, i want to buy myself a drum kit, i want... there's just so many things i want to do. but sometimes seeing those damn talented people make me think, can i be even one-ninth as good as them?

(this christmas, i thought my mom would finally pick up the hints after my usual plastering-my-face-against-the-glass-of-a-music-instrument-store and that she would buy me a keyboard as a gift. nah da da da, i got a pint of ben&jerry's ice cream. how practical, mom)

OH AND YOU GUYS THOUGHT THAT I WAS A HARCORE TAYLOR SWIFT FAN?! well then you haven't seen half of the world.

-A-

2010-12-25T17:05:00.005+08:00

and i totally forgot to mention, SHE (aka irene ng) thinks that
"ITALY IS PART OF FRANCE RIGHT?!!!!!'

oh for the love of god,
-A-

2010-12-25T16:43:00.008+08:00

FROZEN LESBIANNNNNNN!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

IRENE NG AI TING, WHY ARE WE SO GAY?!

CAUTIONZZZZZ EVERYONE CAUTION! YOU ARE HIGHLY RECOMMENDED NOT TO SPEAK TO IRENE NG ON MSN OR EVEN ATTEMPT TO VIDEO CALL HER BECAUSE SHE WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOUR KEYBOARD IS ON PERMANENT CAPS LOCK ON AND YOU WILL MOST PROBABLY GET A HEART ATTACK IN THE MIDST OF THIS PROCESS BECAUSE SHE ACTS AS IF SHE'S A MODEL FOR SILKPRO SHAMPOO. FURTHERMORE, WEBCAMING HER IS ALMOST PORN-LIKE BECAUSE YOUR CONVERSATION WILL CONSIST OF WORDS LIKE BOOBS AND TELL YOU STORIES ABOUT HER BOLSTERS WHICH ARE 8YEARS OLD.

SHIT. i mean, shit. i just typed the entire paragraph in caps.

irene.ng.is.a.bad.influence.

WELCOME BACK YY!

surviving the past week without spamming your inbox has proved to be one of life's toughest challenges!!!!! thankgod for your early arrival(((((((((((((:

oh and,

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

-A-

2010-12-24T13:52:00.004+08:00

after you've read this post and last night's one, you'll probably be thinking that i'm either bipolar or suffering from depression. or if you're that cynical, you'll think i'm just an attention whore.

"I loved you!" he yelled. He jumped up out of his chair so quickly I never saw it coming. "I loved you, and you destroyed me. You took my heart and ripped it up. You might as well have staked me!" The change in his features also caught me by surprise. His voice filled the room. So much grief, so much anger. So unlike the usual Adrian. He strode toward me, hand clasped over his chest.

"I. Loved. You. And you used me the whole time."

i bawled/moaned/mourned/sobbed/broke down after i read this paragraph.

how selfish some people can be. they live and thrive in their newly-found happy ending, oblivious to the pain they have caused to the people around them. people who loved them become pawns to help them get to their final destination, people who become victims in exchange for the greater good and after that we all just fade into the back of their minds.

yeah i know i'm thinking too much into a fictional story that would never come to life because there are vampires and half-vampires and royal vampires etc. but i think it's kind of a known fact that i'm a sucker for romance stuff, your typical romeo and juilet shit gives me crying fits.

it's not my fault that i'm so obsessed with matters of the heart.
it's not my fault that i'm always the third party that threatens the equilibrium of your love equation.
it's not my fault that i'm the one who's always getting hurt.
and it's not my fault that you're just that heartless.

(plus delving into the profound secrets and depths of love pales in comparison with problems brought about by mathematicians who have nothing to do their sad lives)

by the way, GO.READ.VAMPIRE.ACADEMY.
it's an awesome book. something like a cross-breed between harry potter and twilight.
loved the last book but hated the ending.
couldn't richelle mead given a happy ending not at the expense of other people's feelings.
DAMN HER.

iloveyou, adrian ivashkov.

(another reason why i'll never have a shot at love because all the people that i fall for are FEMALE country singers, FEMALE spelling bees on glee, guys who are only interested in getting into the pants of someone of the SAME SEX and FICTIONAL vampires who don't exist)

-A-

2010-12-23T22:51:00.004+08:00

my mother's spring cleaning now. and i thought people only did that before chinese new year. but whatever, she says she wants to throw me out of the house along with all the fucking rubbish she found. and with the combined stress of not being able to do my amath holiday homework cause i'm a fucking retard like that and i don't derserve a shot at life, here's what i have to say.

i don't know why denise proudly proclaimed that her dear friend here is like the most courageous lion she has ever seen in her entire life. i'm sorry to disappoint you, big-eyes, i'm a fucking coward.

no actually i'm worse than that because they say that people who commit suicide are cowards because they don't stand up to problems and all that fucking holy and saint and you give advice to people but you dont follow them anyway. well guess what i'm even worse than that fucking coward. cause i don't even dare to take my own life. take it into my own bloodied hands. too scared to take that pink pill that will mark the turning point on the graph. too scared to jump out of the ninth storey window even though i'm standing on the stool already. too scared to press the penknife harder against my arteries.

it does not help either when she looks at me as if i'm the sole reason now why my uncle has cancer. why he's dead. why my grandfather is almost deaf. why korea peninsula is starting a war. why western europe is in deep fucking debt. the way her eyes bore into mine seems to tell me a story that i was a born a plaque and i will die a fucking black and troublesome plaque.

i miss you, D, i really do. i'm so fucking tempted to kill myself now to join you. but i don't want to disappoint you, i want to be strong. just like you.

and i would love to have someone to talk to now. an outlet to run this anger. but all anyone does is to ask if i'm okay and i reply the politically correct answer, yeah sure, fit as a fiddle, dudette.

i'm sorry i'm sounding like a typical whiny and spoilt teenager. beneath the why-the-fuck-am-i-so-hideous, are-these-thunder-thighs-mine, i-cant-do-a-fucking-front-split, and all the stress from not being able to do four plus three equals to seven, i'm already broken. and i thought having friends, indulging myself in astrophysics and organic chemistry, making music would heal these scars. but fucking math questions and my mom just make them resurface.

all fucking over again.

-A-

2010-12-22T15:11:00.006+08:00

:(

WALAU. THE LAST BOOK OF VAMPIRE ACADEMY WAS OUT ON THE 7TH DECEMBER AND I'M SUCHA PIECE OF LAG AND FAIL SHIT, THE 22ND THEN REALIZE. AND SOME INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED PART OF MY BRAIN WENT TO READ THE ENTIRE PLOT ON WIKIEPEDIA AND I'M DAMN ANGRY WITH RICHELLE MEAD NOW. WHAT KIND OF ENDING WAS THAT?! TOTALLY UNFAIR FOR MY BELOVED ADRIAN IVASHKOV. IT'S OKAY SWEETCHICKS, YOU KNOW YOU STILL HAVE ME.

imma so pissed, the mood for doing chinese homework totally sublimated.

HEES-TOH-REE'S REPEATING ITSELF.
three years ago after i got my PSLE results my mom filled in my secondary-school-posting-option-form-whatever-just-that-piece-of-paper-with-6-blanks-that-determines-your-future without taking into consideration of her daughter's personal choice. yeah so cedar, here i am now. and now, it's my brother's turn at this stupid game where my mom thinks its a video game and she gets to manipulate poor little kids like us into making 'right' life choices and rack up points on the sidebar but all she does is just to fuck everything up.

santa, this year, can you please take the lift to my house because HDB flats don't have chimneys and knock some sense into my mur-thur please? try to convince her/let her see the light that my brother's not going to be that smart kid that she wants all her children to be. that my brother has a learning disability and she should be damn well proud he actually did reasonably well. that my brother has no interest in joining whatever awesome CCA you claim that will be beneficial for his mental health because all i know is that he likes to play chess and swim and not join band or the student council. and THIS IS my brother's future, not hers. and she screwing up twenty years ago does not justify why she should make my brother's life so miserable.

last night i blogged about how i was partially jealous that most of my primary school friends are leading way better lives that me. about how they have boyfriends, how they look stunning, how they get to perform in front of thousands, how they are all so smart and bloody hell i want to jump off a cliff.

but then again,
the very one thing i have and they don't are my awesome friends. (welcome goosebumps, this is downright cheesy)

none of my friends will ever find a yy that is so ridiculously perfect in almost anyway possible and yet she's probably unaware of that.
or a irene that is so pox-ed up and hilarious and types in caps most of the time and bullshit and porny.
or a daphne that is ... well, i can't find an adjective... so lovable, vunerable yet strong, both at the same time.
or a krystal that is so bullshit but secretly smart underneath and so complex and an awesome listening ear when you needed one.
or a denise that has eyes as small as my denise fung! HAHAHAHA.
or a laura that is so sensetive and has to take so much of my crap and still hangs on.
or a math genius like PX who refuses go out of her front door unless there's a war/bomb and she needs to escape.
or a yuyu that is as smart. HAHAHAH. seriously, how can anyone be that un-intellectually challenged, so talented and linguistically developed?!

now i totally sound as if this is happy friendship day or some let's-start-a-chain-message-to-thnak-people. ohgod, what happened to being a bitch. the previous paragraph's so sweet i need to go brush my teeth.

I.SWEAR.MATHEMATICIANS.CREATED.ALL.THIS.SHIT.TO.TORTURE.TEENAGERS.
after my partially inspring speech that probably did not make anyone feel like taking out their amath textbook and start eagerly reading about the pascal's triangle, EEUGHHHH is the definition of math. spent the entire afternoon industriously trying to make friends with trigo and surds but these guys are stubborn bastards. they just refuse to make life easier for me.

thankgod i am going out with math genuises tomorrow.
amen.

oh my day is so interesting i just rewatched the entire glee season2 in the last couple of days. and did SS. and attempted chinese. and got slaughtered in the math abbattoir where they slash kids and make them into mince meat. ohgod, my life is so interesting i should probably write a book about it and sell it at 40bucks per page at borders or something and become a millionaire. any takers for being my publisher?

-A-

2010-12-21T22:23:00.006+08:00

I'M HUNGRY.

it's also for daphne who THANKGOD-FULLY is coming home tomorrow!
absence sure makes the heart grow fonder. with three of my favourite dancers (yy, denise, daphne) overseas, my phone stopped flashing '1 unread message' every other second and that makes me sad.

OHANDFORTHELOVEOFGOD,
I'M LEARNING BINOMIAL THEOREM ON YOUTUBE like wtf?! HAHAHAand yes i know i sound like i'm a kiasu trip sci kia who's trying to cram the A levels syllabus into my brain before christmas. but truth be told, BINOMIAL THEOREM'S FUN! i know i'm going to eat my words, take it all back, shove it down my throat, swear to god that i will never say that math is beautiful it's damn right ugly when i fail next year's commmon test, totally predicting it since 2010's grades weren't exactly flawless or anywhere near that.

so TEACHERS, i AM making an effort. no i'm not a complacent little bitch who refuses to do her homework (well, i am but that's not the point) I AM TRYING TO PASS MY DIAGNOSTIC TESTS but logarithms and linerar laws are really boring, i'm sincerey apologetic.

hmmm, what else to blog about my pathetic little life...

1. 'where will singapore stand in 2030 with this anticipated rise of the rest' OH YOU STUPID SS, DO I LOOK AS IF I HAVE A CRYSTAL BALL IN MY HANDS?! or i'm secretly edward cullen and i can read minds of cheena presidents, welcome-to-mumbai's prime minister, russia's top officials. NO. NO. NO. so how the hell do i answer that question? can someone offer aid?

2. you know you have no life when you keep checking facebook for updates for every three words that you write on your SS citizenry reflection.

3. oh and as if my mom accusing me of being a whore ain't enough, she came up with a new one yesterday. I STEAL YOUR CASH. okay, money goes missing and she's pointing fingers at me and asking me questions as if this is a rerun of law and order, CSI, or some really bad CID singapore remake something. okay, and i thought i didn't have a life. obviously i didn't factor in my mom into the demographics. tomorrow i'm going to wake up and she's going to tell me i killed someone's cat. or something really stupid.

4. i went on a grinch christmas shopping today. we spent like less than 30bucks. and what kind of a christmas is that? christmas is a season where you max out your credit card limits, buy exorbidantly priced gifts for your children, paste a smile on their faces (not literally, my bro came with glue at my face when they were wrapping gifts) something. NOT THIS. oh father christmas, where are you?

I've decided September will be National Sue Sylvester Month....
Sue Sylvester actually lactates success....
I won't rest until EVERY hurricane is named "Sue" ...
Let's break it down. You wanna be creative, you wanna be in the spotlight. Face it. You wanna be me ...
Sue Sylvester just walked past a mirror and briefly fell in love with herself...

I only eat mermaid-safe tuna. Did you know that thousands of mermaids get raped in tuna nets each year?
I think my cat's new boyfriend is in a gang.
Maybe dinosaurs aren't extinct, maybe they're just way smaller than we thought...

OHGOD. stalking fictional glee characters on glee may just be funnest thing i've done today.
OH FOR THE LOVE OF GLEE.

speaking of things that i've accomplished, i think i'm pretty proud to say that i'm a darn failure. i was going through my friend's albums on facebook AKA stalking other people just cause i don't want to complete my homework and i realized IMMA SUCHA FAILURE.

i've got friends performing at childaid - some children for children charity where they perform and newspaper report on them, tada they're famous kind of thing - with their cello solos and awesome voices and they look bloody gorgeous with floor length dresses and makeup done with the pros. and where am i performing at? at school prom where nobody really gives a damn, it's just entertainment because you need to fill up the programme sheet and i looked like a sad, sad hooker.

so much for when my teachers told me i was special.
apparently, not special enough.

-A-

2010-12-18T21:30:00.016+08:00

YAYYYYY!

HAHAHAHAHAHAH. any resemblance?

exhibit A

exhibit B

(YINGYI, WHAT ARE YOU?! A FACE-CHANGING EXPERT?!)

OHYEAHMANZ.

run devil run was one of the funnest performances i've ever done (between dancing in 4inch heels and acting as if your dog just died for SYF, which one would you pick?) and there were many firsts for all us too. nat's first onstage performance. yy's, rachel's, daphne's first experience with heels. nat's first brush with nail polish. everyone's first time dancing and partying in heels. and probably the first time the school hall has seen a PROPER kpop performance (no, mr teo's sorry-sorry-sorry-what-the-heck-are-you-dancing did not work out)

and despite the fact that half of us were last-minute-drop-ins, irene got poxed by the chicken, we only had 3 practices, for every minute we practiced there were 2 minutes where eunice and rachel and cherie and nat were dancing to random kpop songs like nu abo and etc. and some sec4s weren't exactly the most appreciative lot i've ever seen, it was AWESOME.

(someone needs to inject life into my vocabulary. awesome is a word that's bloody overused)

having nat on the team is DOWNRIGHT HILARIOUS. our dear leader aka taeyon is forever bouncy, adorable and i'm forever making fun of using a straightener on her eyebrows and how she should donate some to yy's sparse population of eyebrows is further proof that no one needs to be a dancer to be able to dance. and screw the emcee's THANK YOU THE CEDAR MODERN DANCERS and for god's sake, it's cedar shi-dae. and plus, talking to nat on the way home kind of enlightened me on some stuff. her impression of being in the cool dancers club for a week and half is 'how come dancers are forever hungry and they eat so much macs and yet never gain an ounce' and she taught me how to see someone in a brand new light.

one for the most adorable taeyon ever known to mankind,

two for the jessica who invented the QIAN BIAN dance and fights with me over our ending pose,

three for the sunny who has convinced herself she's the most hideous and monsterous person on earth and compliment is not a word in her dictionary (and happens to be one hell of a beauty),

four for the yoona who's supposed to be tall and REALLY pretty,

five for the sooyoung who's REALLY REALLY tall,

six for the hyoyeon who cannot pull off a slut face but looks ridiculously pretty anyway,

seven for the yuri who keeps on making mistakes but pulled off the dance beautifully in the end,

eight for the seohyun who is hilarious with a capital H,

nine for probably the most failed imitation/rendetion of tiffany ever,

ten, for the fact that we are COOL KIDS.

(to find out who's who, look at my facebook album, cedar shi-dae! we got our promotion close-up and portrait shots)

prom was how do you put it.... eye-opening?

seeing mz in a dress was shocking - and of course i had to report to my dear vanessa who just came back from korea. seeing how some of the sec4s pulled off a fun and flirty prom as a i'm-a-slut-where-do-i-take-a-bus-to-the-red-light-district reminded not to flash my boobs or something next year. seeing how pathetic our school events were organized make me ponder and ask myself why the heck did i join cedar. next year, my friends from other schools would be in five star hotel ballrooms waltzing with their hands on a boy's shoulders while i'll be sitting in front of a table of teachers who look as if they had been paid to attend the event and hence they looked bored like nobody's shit.

but who cares, the day i use the word 'fun' to describe cedar is the day my body is lowered into a bloody wooden coffin or i'm rolled into the cremation thingy place something. point taken. and thus next year after-parties are a must, no one's going to count on cedar to make prom awesome shitz, we just have to take this grave matter into our hands. and i really want to celebrate with the dancers): yy, daphne, denise, irene. our last time to dress together. being a sec4 sucks. everything rhymes with 'last' first and last and only shot at Os. last SYF. last prom. last day. last whatever shit. last waltzing that twenty minutes walk to cedar that usually have us sweating cause the government does not know how to create a bus service or plant more trees.

and bloody hell,

there's like 2weeks till school starts. fuck, i thought chinese Os just ended and i was walking out of school compound with margie and gang and having lunch and naming each other after elements and planning yy's birthday bash on the spy. how the hell did time fly past like a rocket? or light, since it's the fastest thing on earth. and the greatest thing of all: majority of us haven't finishing the goddamned fucking homework. oh and something even better, my dear dear dancers (this totally shows that i have no life apart from dance) are all up up and away, throwing themselves onto planes and taking the next flight out of this little red dot called singapore and not returning till christmas.

-A-

2010-12-14T21:22:00.002+08:00

one of the 5392716103 reasons why i love glee.

HEH. today was mad awesome fun.
danced run devil run in heels and were stared by a thousand different cedarians. don't know if we should take that as compliments or imagine that they were thinking 'OMGGGG.THOSE PEOPLE ARE PHYSCHOS' and after dance was crazy arcade shit where we the citizens of cedar land managed to sneak in with our run devil run costumes and spent like 10bucks on games. stuff i realized: eunice is awesome at probably every single thing ever known to mankind. she can play drum hero LIKE WTF BETTER THAN DAPHNE. she knows like three thousand different kpop dances. SHE ANSWERS THE PHYSICS QUESTIONS THAT DAPHNE CAN'T ANSWER. and i can't play drums for nuts. urban drum crew must have totally misjudged my non-existent talent.

ohgod, i'm watching the stupid channel eight nine oclock show. and i'm rolling my eyes non-stop. jeannette aw (however you spell her name) is an utter failed hooker. if she were a prostitute or stripper, she'd be bankrupt and jobless. and the show is just plain dumb.

-A-

2010-12-13T21:42:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING SWIFT!
i feel as if i betrayed you just because i blasted glee songs on your special day.

i wanted to do like some look-at-taylor-swift-grow from 2005 to 2010 and show the world that she's not a plastic korean star or some fucked up american rapper or whatever. but i got a little tired choosing the pictures): sometimes it sucks when she's so photogenic. you feel like uploading 32923432 photos but blogger will probably hang my ass.

i hate to begin on such a vulgar note but FUCK MY MOM YO. apparently, she has this belief that torturing the hell out of me is the only way to attain nirvana. like are you freakin' serious. she thinks that every single time i step out of the iron wrought gates, i am going to take my little leather mini short skirt (for the love of god, i don't even own one) and give some man a lap dance or a standing up strip show or a blowjob against the sink. for crying out loud, how do i seduce when i'm a pathetic little rabbit-like innocent creature without a fucking phone because someone believes that whatever you hand me will just magically disappear.

putting the bitch aside, i actually have quite an eventful week ahead. of course, apart from the fact that today's taylor swift's birthday and she probably spend 13th december in a multi-million dollar, star-studded party in LA or something while yours sincerely just blasted glee songs to drown out my mother's incessant nagging about me not finishing homework, about me buying two pairs of heels in a month, about me wearing so much eyeliner, about me and my not so demure looking nails, and me and my lack of housework done and me a fucking thousand different things she can find fault with me about.

on the greener side of the pasture, tomorrow's tuesday! i have dance. and we're dancing in heels. how fun. but sadly, miss i-have-a-boob-blister AKA horny irene won't be there, thus equating to less fun): get well soon sweetchicks! and wednesday, i have a supposedly proper study date cause i'm going out with the smart kids to study. deep down, i'm praying that it will be productive. and on thursday, i'm going to get my nails done again and throng the streets of orchard with denise and yy and daphne (hopefully). and on friday, PROM NIGHT! and that's supposed to sound like a really fun week condensed into hundred and forty words.

CHINESE COMPREHENSIONS > ENGLISH COMPREHENSIONS
and yes, this is despite the fact that i cannot read the first word of my chinese homework's cloze passage - which is an obvious omen that i should not do it - but ENGLISH COMPREHENSIONS AND SUMMARIES SUCK BIG TIME.

LIKE WHY THE HELL DO WE NEED TO KNOW ABOUT COMMUNERISM?! yeah, i'm flaring up over two pathetic and harmless looking pieces of paper AKA torturous homework. i really hate english comprehensions and summaries. they have this sickened need to throw in bombastic words and trick us into looking up in the dictionary when you could have just replaced with a four letter word. oh here's a four-letter one for you. FUCK. words like antiestablishment (which doesn't even exist in the dictionary the last time i checked longman), satirical, transmogrified... and list goes on. like seriously.

and unlike cool shit chinese comprehension passages that i actualy enjoy reading, english has to drone on and on about how america's once-bullish economy is on the verge of collasping, how china is plagued by social and environmental problems and something abotu frickin' patagonia dessert - like where the fuck is that.

ohgod, i really hate holiday homework. and i'm barely halfway through.
so much for an ambitious goal of finishing it before this friday.

Everybody loves a winner
So nobody loved me
Lady peaceful, lady happy
That's all I want to be

All of the odds are
They're in my favour
Something's bound to begin

i cried watching the latest epsiode of glee. like oh hoo-fucking-ray.

to my little brother who's being a bloody bastard;
you got two hundred and twenty nine. out of three hundred. for a national exam. not some stupid spelling your balding teacher gives you in school. and i got thirty marks higher than you. and no, you don't have the fucking right to say in my face that i failed amath because you step into your new secondary school and realize how hard is proving trigo functions and log and surds, don't say anything in my face. you're pissing me off.

and pretty much everything is pissing me off tonight.

DAPHNE!
thursday! imma watching you.

-A-

2010-12-09T21:14:00.004+08:00

It's a beautiful night,
We're looking for something dumb to do
Hey baby,
I think I wanna marry you

Is it the look in your eyes,
Or is it this dancing juice?
Who cares baby,
I think I wanna marry you

DENISE&FOONGYY!
despite the fact that irene and daphne cancelled on us and we spent alot of cash today and i didn't get my pair of desired heels and we were the probably the noobest people that stepped into a nail salon because we camwhore with OPI nail polish and we danced run devil run in shoe stores and we look terribly unglam most of the time and we complain like shit when we wear heels and YINGYI IS LIKE THE PRETTIEST AMONG THE THREE OF US AND YET SHE KEEP ON SAYING 'NOOOO IMMA HIDEOUS MONSTER',

TODAY.WAS.AWESOME.

we should totally do this more often.

(and denise, for the first time in your life, you have BIG EYES! HAHAHAHAHA)

YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY I TOTALLY CANNOT WAIT FOR PROM.
HAHAHA right algae, and you're not even the sec4 whose 17th december is going to the night of nights, you're just performing you stupid dumb blonde.

but whatever,
OUR BELOVED AH FOONG IS GOING TO WEAR HEELS AND DANCE FOR YOU MANZ.
and i'm going to have a chance to curl her hair! and play with makeup! and attempt to look like tiffany from snsd with the 'super playboy' sign. and for the second time in my life, i can dress in the tightest of dresses, have heavy thick goth girl like eyeliner and act like a slut/whore AND NO ONE CARES!

someone needs to constantly remind me about a few stuff,
1. I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO BE FEMININE AND DEMURE or else my newly manicured nails will break and i will cry
2. how the stupid bloody holidays are ending and i need to start finishing my homework, damn
3. and start mugging cause we're all stupid in our teachers' eyes
4. algae, please stop spending moneyyyy!
5. stop talking to irene on msn or else i'll be cinderella, always sleeping after 12
6. stop mouthing 'fuck' at my mom but sometimes i really cannot help it because she's such a fuckingggg bitch like what the fuck is wrong with going for a fucking manicure and buying a fucking dress with my own fucking money i'm not your fucking prisoner. even mas selamat had more privacy than me. fuckkkk.

irene;
NOOOOO. CHANGE ALRD. YOU'RE FROM PLUTO! HAHAHAHAH.

daphne;
make it up to me. ask me out on a date. let me peer counsel you. let's eat macarons.

yy;
YAY. mission accomplished! you've officially completed the first commandment of feminism - to own a pair of heels! i feel so proud of you(:

-A-

2010-12-07T15:06:00.002+08:00

oh goshhh, for crying out loud, I LOVE GLEE.

i'd like to think that my holidays have progressed in a certain direction. long were the days when i was chugging chocolate milk as if mad cow disease was going to wipe out the entire population of cattle tomorrow while watching gleeeeeeee illegally online and thinking about how terrible SYF is going to turn out. now i'm drinking green tea like i'm krystal lim number two and dying, whimpering, whining, moaning till the next episode of glee comes out, attempting biology homework on occasional occasions and planning dates that never work out because some tell me that they have to hospitals, some tell me they're going korea, USA, eastern europe, the moon, i don't know. AND I'M GOING TO HELL, BABY. bascially, my whole point is: the holidays suck balls.

in another 6days, taylor swift's going to turn 21! YAY. why the shit am i so happy about? damn, she's one year closer to stepping into the graveyard. *whimpers*

oh, and exactly a week ago from today, there was this worldwide-celebration-lets-raise-awareness world AIDS day that i think hardly anyone knew about (my mom didn't, i didn't) and let's see what the whole point of the festival? to celebrate that two million people die from that 'terrible disease that has manifested itself on mankind' and that despite the fact that billions of taxpayer's greenback are spent and THERE IS STILL NO CURE FOR AIDS. YAYYY, let's cheer man, where's the confetti?

i don't say this everyday but,
BIO IS A PUBLIC NUISANCE.
PHYSICS DOES NOT MAKE A SINGLE SPECK OF SENSE.
CHEMISTRY OH MY DEAR CHEMISTRY, STOP BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS!
):

in such terrible circumstances, there's only a single movie that can cheer up me. this totally explains why 'the devil wears prada' is constantly on replay. i've watched it like what, four times this week? and it's only tuesday. GET ME A LIFE, SOMEONE.

i have $12.70 to last me for the rest of my holidays.
and i bet that's like less than what those malnourished little black kids from kenya survive on.
fuckkkk, mom, i need cash.

-A-

2010-12-04T00:01:00.003+08:00

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time

defying gravity and total eclipse of the heart is on constant playback on my itunes, even i don't know why. maybe i just need sombre songs to keep up with the i'm-an-adolescent-relationship-problems-are-bigger-than-your-stupid-world-peace-plans kind of thing.

1. i don't know why i have the urge to blog in bullets. maybe because my life is already so messed up, i need to start taking up the smallest chances to reorganize things.

2. if we were to play a game of whose-life-sucks-balls-the-most, who would win? casting people from war-torn somalia aside, of course. standing here watching the person you love most give all of their love to someone else and you're like cellophane to them, your affection goes unnoticed while their little someone means the world to them like they were to you. or, confessing your love but they never give it back. or, being restrained from telling people who you like because they'll judge you because of it.

3. second prize. the back-up plan. the net who will always be there to catch you whenever you're free-falling but you never give it damn when you're happy and strolling about. i'm biting my knuckles now because i don't know what to type. i want to pour my heartfelt feelings (yes and despite contary belief, my heart is not just a muscle. i am in touch with my innermost feelings. thankyou) out but i can't. why? remember image? if i drain myself of all the shit i'm bottling right inside now, i'll probably sound like a whiny ill cat and plus, names can't be mentioned for confidentiality reasons. they don't call it 'secrets' for nothing.

4. How do you conjugate the verb to love? another quote from glee, if you were wondering. there's a few versions of the definitions of homosexuality wikiepdia (my best friend) offers. i think i'll stick to the being sexually attracted to the same gender one. if so, then why the hell do people throw around the word 'lesbian' in our school so often? i like taylor swift does not mean anything. i find half of the ladies on glee especially dianna agron extremely hot does not mean anything. even me kissing girls does not mean anything. so why is the mentality of lesbian-ism driven so hard into everyone's head? in my case, i've just given up on boys altogether. can't afford another setback. and plus, even if hypothetically, a girl likes a girl, it does not mean anything either. liking, loving, dating does not mean sex is on the other side of the balanced equation. so i think it's time for people to take some time to iron out their thinkings.

5. it's kind of a ritual. everytime i want to blog about something really whiny and teenager-like, i have to put up a disclaimer. it's a no-please-do-not-think-that-i'm-an-airhead-who-spends-her-afternoons-counting-her-facebook-friends-because-i-read-books-on-global-oil-crisis-and-certainly-do-not-think-that-salmons-come-in-orange-rectangles yeah. so there again, you have it.

;
i'm sorry i'm a terrible confidant, counseller and friend altogether. i think you were a better listening ear when i told you about it back in the train station, remember? i send out my texts to you thinking that the concern would make a little dent on the misery you're feeling. i draft out encouraging blogposts but delete them cause i'll never have the optimistic kind of impact on people. and i'm learning to accept that fact. hence, i once again extend my most sincere apologies for being less than A1 good friend. if i'm even one.

-A-

2010-12-03T17:11:00.003+08:00

HAHAHHAHAHAYAY!
I.LOVE.THIS.GIRL.
((((((((((:

move over grey's, move over upper east side, move over vampy diaries,
GLEE'S HERE TO STAY.

1. ystd was the official last dance practice of the week, of the month, of the year. like YESSSS BABYYY, let's kiss why-the-hell-didnt-miss-chua-open-the-studio, muscle aches, bruises, constant reminders that you suckkkk from your teacher GOODBYE. at least for now. but i'll be missing 'imma lesbian, i love myself' AKA moon dancer AKA irene. missing peeps like deafknee, YY AH, daaaanise, yx, seet, and juniors. well, you can't have your cake and eat it.

2. went for my older bro's wedding on tuesday. it's was not a wagner's traditional wedding march den den den den and then they walk down the aisle, they exchange rings, say i do i do i do yeah man i do, and then wedding feast! blah, it was boring like shit. apparently, my considerate brother conveniently forgot that his little sister would break out in hives/smallpox/cowpox-like rashes when exposed to seafood of the world, thus i spent half the time texting laura and the other half asking my younger brother 'who the shit is that lao kok kok there?' cause we hardly knew anyone that was invited to the wedding. so you ask me, was it fun?

3. my homework pile is so stagnant mosquitoes larvaes can breed inside there. study dates, anyone?

4. this is the reason why you should not have kids. my unwed OTHER brother just invited a bunch of kids to my house. and god, THIS REDEFINES HELL. 'what's your name?' 'how old are you?' 'what shcool are you in?' 'what is your last name?' OHMYGOD, GET A LIFE. and then while i was watching glee, 'WHO'S THE GUY?! HAHAHAHA. HE HAS A FUNNY HAIRSTYLE' mohawk, girl, mohawk. and then she starts to throw a tantrum when her cousins play a prank on her. 'I'LL TELL MY MOTHER ABOUT YOUUUU' right, and i'll tell the president. hence, children is not an addition to your loving family aka propoganda to increase birth rate, it's waste of money, time, effort, increases our already high enough carbon emissions because diapers and milk powder don't fall from the sky and it contributes to air pollution, water pollution, most importantly, NOISE pollution. and don't say 'you were once a kid' in protest. i didn't choose to be born.

5. my mother has a tendency to give me a knowing look when we watch shows about teenage pregnancy, syphilis and my-boyfriend-dumped-me-after-bad-oral-sex. she condemns my interaction with anyone without ovaries. i have to change guy names on my msn to sarah and jane and cheryl for fear she impersonates me and throw my face in front of my already small enough social circle. so mah-ther, I'M NOT GETTING A BOYFRIEND IN THE NEAR FUTURE. or the far future. so please worry more about me turning homosexual then me being hetrosexual and horny with someone with balls. cause if you haven't realized, the only non-female i like on this earth is CHRIS COLFER. and he's gay. not happy gay. it's i-want-to-be-in-bed-with-another-man kind of gay. so there's no need to book an appointment with planned parenthood or place a reservation for medicine that cures gential warts any time soon. thankyou.

6. out of sheer curiousity of who actually read this blog, i decided to click some 'stats' hyperlink on blogger.com i'm not batting an eyelid that most of my readers come from we-live-in-tiny-singapore. but what amazes me is that, russia comes in second. fifteen people from the largest country in the world clicked on an-alternate-paradise this week. woah is the word to describe everything running through my head.

7. my brother's friend misread my cedar dancer shirt as 'cedar cancer'. i LOL-ed for five minutes straight in macdonalds.

8. as if i don't need a reminder, i know i am a close to worthless, just another fiftten year old human breathing on this world. another mouth mother earth needs to feed. but i'm really praying this time - not because i have selfish needs such as i don't want my kpop idol to die - please do not start a world war three. not that mr. north korea or mr. south korea is reading my blog (no koreans on the stats apparently), but don't. i've never gone through a war, and i intend to make it through to my coffin without seeing a huge major i'm-going-to-plant-nuclear-bombs-and-blow-up-asians kind of thing. war is just a stupid chess game where ordinary people like us are the chess pieces. smaller, worthless people are the pawns. the higher the value gets, you get promoted. a bishop, a knight (not horse people). and chess games always end with less pieces you start with. people die, families get broken, dreams get smashed like glass against a concrete wall. and sure, i like to play chess. but i don't like being played in a chess game. and no, i'm not writing a paper trying to be some mediator or aiming to win noble prize for breaking up tensions. i'm just trying to speak up. a little voice no one's going to hear. not now, not ever.

9. i'm thinking if it is a compliment or insult when you're not legal to have sex or watch NC16 movies but you get approached by hard to shake off sellers who try to promote insurance and credit cards to you and you're offered alcohol at weddings. does making you feel old feel good?

10. the reason why i'm madly in love with taylor swift and is full of awe for dianna agron is not because they're blond (partly but still), or that they have incredibly beautiful eyes or flawless-ness that make angels cry. so if you're thinking that you increase your stats by coming up with a blueprint on how to be prettier, you're more wrong than when brittany said that the square root of four is rainbows. anyone who like anyone else just because they have nice eyes is as skin-deep as you are. and what's worse is that YOU'RE NOT EVEN THAT PRETTY SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU POLLUTING MY FACEBOOK HOME PAGE.

11. anyone can sing, they're singers. anyone can dance, they're dancers. anyone can love, but does that make them lovers?

;
i've been thinking. like late-night-toss-and-turn-on-my-bed kind of thinking. i was more than a mean bitch. i was cynical. i was critical. i was selfish. i was inconsiderate. i was a two-faced whore. and the friendship that you're offering me now is the worst form of punishment you could ever offer me. and i'm trying to make amendment, trying to fill in the cracks when i broke everything. but it can never be enough, can it?

-A-

2010-11-28T10:28:00.014+08:00

i missed you,

i miss your retardness. i miss the way you call me a nerd. i miss your ever-shining-through-black-clouds ego. i miss how you'd alwayds dodge whenever i wanted to kiss you. i miss playing with your fingers. i miss how we'd talk the hours away about the most irrelevant things ever. i miss how you always say you're screwed up when you're not, at all.

and i'm sorry that i'm such a gutless chicken. that i'm so scared of screwing things up, choosing to live in a hellhole without you than to be thick-skinned and break the silence. that i said alot of stuff out of anger. that i said that you didn't matter. that i thought whatever we had wasn't irreplaceable.

but whatever, the fiasco's over and we're back together again(:

and that's all that matters to me right now.

Anorexia Nervosa;

An eating disorder characterized by refusal to maintain a healthy body weight, and an obsessive fear of gaining weight due to a distorted self image which may be maintained by various cognitive biases.

i just read the article in today's newspaper about anorexia. just like the parents mentioned in the article, i thought sufferers of such eating disorders were sixteen year olds who aspire to be models who live on the runways, or a screw is just loose somewhere in their hypothalamus. even taylor swift wrote about her high school friend suffering from bulimia, not her six-year old cousin who decided to hide her sandwich under the car mat after her ballet teacher told her she was fat.

and it took me four years to realize that my best friend back then had an eating disorder.

walking down memory's lane, i'm realizing that i have no right to even call myself her best friend.

calling veronica skinny is an understatement. she's thinner than yy, thinner than peyling, thinner than possible everyone that i know now in cedar. and yet, she pinches her layer of skin on her forearm on a daily basis and told me she was fat. she never visited the canteen. she lived through church camp without pushing anything solid down her esophagus. i'd never seen her eat anything despite being her closest confidant for fifty two weeks.

and instead of doing what oh high and holy stuff that taylor swift does like writing a song for your friend and moving her to tears and convincing her that she's beautiful on the inside and her dress size didn't matter, i followed her footsteps.

i went on a crash diet when i was twelve. i survived on a piece of bread in school. i played basketball with people taller than me, stronger than me, non-stop just to gain muscles and lose weight. i offered to carry chairs during choir, run the extra mile for teachers just to shake off the calories.

sure, i did lose ten kilograms in six months but it never made me closer to veronica than we started out from. being skinner didn't make me more popular. being able to fit into kid size clothings didn't make me smarter.

i only became a more twisted and dark character squeezed into a tinier body.

and that's probably the reason why i feel uncomfortable and just shut the hell up when
dancers pinch their fats during practices and i routinely tell them that fats protect your organs. and i'll never go on a diet ever again.

because eating disorder kills, and losing your lives to a deadly phobia of fat is most absurb thing ever.

most ironic thing about veronica-

her father owns a restaurant to feed people and yet his daughter never eats.

to the lady who gave birth to me;

make-up is an art form, not a slut form.

do not lecture me how i look like a whore just because i wear eyeliner. do not go on and on about how much money i waste on stashes of make-up. do not pick on the very essence that i'm not pretty and no amount of pencils, liquids, powder is ever going to change that fact.

for starters, you wear eyeliner. secondly, you've been buying make-up on the spy citing reasons such as my-son's-wedding-is-in-two-weeks-but-sorry-madame-you-dont-need-three-lipsticks-despite-the-fact-that-you-have-an-extremely-huge-mouth. and why am i ugly? cause i have ugly parents?

and thankyou very much.

-A-

2010-11-26T20:54:00.004+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAH
okay. i'm sorry i'm crazy.

1. "WAAAAAH CAN SEE EVERYTHING AH!!!" is going to be irene ng's quote of the decade, i swear. like seriously, miss-i-direct-produce-and-act-in-porn-movies. HAHAHAHAH,

2. DANCE CHALET was selectively AWESOME. sec3s first night = AWESOME. singing 'dream on' AKA the ten cents song = AWESOME. porny, horny pervy shower time = AWESOME. dancing with chicken wings = AWESOME. ganging up with clarice to fondle(HAHHAAH)irene's thighs = AWESOME. ganging up with xiantong to taupok and bully yy = AWESOME.

3. thinking back on awesome memories = AWESOME.

4.WE.ARE.SCREWED.FOR.OPEN.HOUSE.I.CANNOT.DANCE.HIP.HOP.LIKE.WHAT.THE.SHIT.AND.MY.CONTEMP.IS.BARELY.MAKE-ABLE bottomline = D to the I to the E.

5. DAPHNE STOP LOSING YOUR THINGS. START SAVING MONEY!!!! (HAHAH.i dedicated you one bullet point cause you said i was a very nice girl over msn just now. so suck it up!!!! not everyone likes to empty your wallet and plan your accounts for you)

6. OH.MY.GOD.YOU.STUPID.BITCH.fuckyou. fyi, people are not telemarketers, we don't sit in front of a phone 24/7 waiting for it to ring so don't go on about how irresponsible we are when we don't answer our phones, GET A LIFE. and the reason why you fall into one of the categories of 'the people i hate most' - the acbc (act cool buay cool), i'm sorry but i'm better than you. just face the fact. and lastly, JUST SHUT UP AND STOP TALKING TO US IN THAT CONDESCENDING TONE. YOU ARE NOT OUR FUCKING MOTHERS.

7. S-O-R-R-Y yy): sorry for squashing you on the bed. sorry for stealing our blanket in the middle of the night. sorry for dropping your hashbrown at macdonalds. sorry for saying 'its quite easy what'. 对不起!

8. kudos for thinking that i have talent and saying it out. not that i'm being a proud bitch splashing arrogant essays on the world wide web but i really need to say a word of thanks. you guys were the first ones ever to appreciate whatever i was playing. THANKYOU. it truly means alot to me.

9. dear irene, deafknee, yy, denise, celine, xiantong, thankyou for making this just plain awesome. and even though we are partially tone-deaf, have sore throats and sing wayyyy off-key, we're still awesome. I WANNA BE A PASTRY CHEF SO FRIGGIN BAD. TEN CENTS, FIVE CENTS, ONE CENT!

10. MY BROTHER IS A STUPID ASSHOLE. he only got 229 for his PSLE. that's really dumb. or maybe i'm just a mean bitch sister. or maybe i should learn to factor in the fact that he has a learning disability and has an IQ lower than average. or maybe my mother should let the reality that my brother is not going to turn into a genius overnight dawn on her. but sorry bro, you're still stupid.

'imma not a virginnnnn'
'lost it to irene'
'algae's pregnant. clarice did not use a contraceptive that's why'
'someone teach clarice about the use of contraceptives aka condomssss'

HAHAHAHAHAH,
and you guys thought that dancers were high, holy and pure. well, 'fraid not, buddy.

TEAM HORNY!
cause we spam twitter with porny stuff.

i'll say it one time, i'll say it two times, i'll say it many many many times (HAHAHirene)

really, THANKYOU. irene! 谢谢你 for trusting in my ability not to screw up the sec4 farewell mash-up. and saying that my guitar playing sounded surprisingly good. and thankyou the rest of you for saying/agreeing for thinking that i have talent and i should take guitar up professionally.

i've said it once, but i'll say it again, it really really really means alot to me. living under a roof where everyone condemns my love for music citing that it'll never work out, and saying that my taylor swift songs sound worse than construction noise pollution shit and putting down all my dreams of ever becoming a professional guitarist (it's put out already thanks to you mom), your words really changes everything.

hence,
thankyou.

daphne;

it does not make sense. how come the person that gets my heartstrings all up in a knot is the exact same one that untangles it?
OH AND CANELE. ARE YOU READY, BABY?

irene;
为什么you so annoying one! HAHAHAHAHA,keep asking questions! TSK, you blind kia.

i secretly think that my laoshi is frustrated at me half the time because she scolds me at every single practice at least twice rain or shine. but sometimes she also has that i'm-going-to-laugh face when she looks at me. like when she saw me dance today. AHHHSHIT, but bottomline, my dance still sucks.

-A-

2010-11-22T19:11:00.002+08:00

i freakin' love this man.

i think it's just me.
that i watch glee and unlike normal teenage girls with raging hormones, i choose to fall in love with hot hot hot and extremely drop-dead hot cheerios. and now, gay guys with a voice of a soprano.

but,
I.LOVE.CHRIS.COLFER.KURT.HUMMEL.WHATEVER.

maybe i love him because his character both in glee and real life challenges the sterotypes and pushes the boundaries of the standing of homosexuals in today's society.
or maybe he's the proof that any person is able to make it, no matter how different you are, even if you are openly gay, or if you sing like a girl (in a good way), or if you got bullied in school, or if you have a sister with epilepsy.
or maybe he's just goddamned talented.

CHRIS COLFER, ILOVEYOU.

imma friggin cry cry cry baby.

who the hell watches glee and bawls over kurt's defying gravity.
who the hell watches glee and drop tears taylor's swift videos.
who the hell watches harry potter 7 and wail and wail when dhoby died.

ME.

DANCE = YAY!

blasting high school musical songs and click five oldies songs of our generation during break time is AWESOME.

ilove daphne, denise, irene, yy((((:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING YY(:
I'LL GET A POST UP FOR YOU ASAP OKAY OKAY OKAY!

GO.WATCH.GLEE.

-A-

2010-11-20T19:29:00.002+08:00

iloveyou.

6days of non-stop frustration bottled up, and i'm itching to bitch.

1. FUCK YOU. you know everything was fine and happy like a sun shining brilliantly as white clouds waltzed across the vast blue sky kind of day and you came into the picture and tore everything apart. do not give me that condescending stare when you are not even any fucking better than me. just my report book is enough to thrash you in the face. and do not try to act cool, act pretty, act smart when you're not. and being a two-faced bitch does not make you popular. and trying too hard doesn't either.

2. I WAS LATE. yeah, i got it. but you don't have to treat me as if i murdered someone, set someone's house on fire, stole a truck and rammed it into a 7/11. i was late. the end.

3. SERIOUSLY. have you looked at yourself in the mirror? have you noticed that the reflection staring back at you isn't exactly the most flawless person known to mankind? have you taken the time to observe your grades? have you noticed that your IQ isn't exactly higher than 160? have you turned around or taken a trip's down memory's lane and realized that you're not the most loved person in this world? i'm sorry to break the news, but some people aren't just the 'true friends' you thought they were. and stop acting like you're so good when you're not. as much as everyone hates to be put down, it makes you better.

4. YOU ARE GROSS. wannabes are probably the grossest people on earth. along with lians. and acbc (act cool buay cool) people. and it just so happens that you fall into every single category. you know, like a venn diagram and you're that portion right smack in the middle labelled 'disgusting, vomit-provoking, pollutant, irritant, disgrace to mankind'. do not talk as if dancing is as easy as walking. it's not, if you haven't realized. and hanging out with dancers does not make you a dancer. and do not look at me as if i'm weird just because i'm a slut like that and i have cooler friends than you (i'm sorry for you to hear that), you will never be what you want to be.

5. THIS IS FOR YOU. if you're thinking that apparently i'm the most perfect angle ever bestowed upon earth or that i'm the first person on god's 'list of wonderful people' and why the fuck am i bitching about other people as if there is no tomorrow. cause i need to get it off my fucking chest. if i don't type it all out here, i'll probably kill some people cause they're like a needle poking against your cornea.

and i'm sorry if you think that i'm a bitch.
cause maybe i am.

this week is passing in a blur.
a word to summarize it would be DANCE.

and by the end of next week, half of my holidays would be gone.
oh for the love god, what kind of fucking holidays is this.

;
reports said that if your crush lasted for more than four months, it's love. but days trickle past like years without you and i've never gotten an answer to the question that invades my mind at midnight. who owns my heart? is it you or is it art?

you're like a bullet that penetrates the thick amour plating that i've set around myself. you break the walls i've put up around myself. you show me that i don't have to be a bitch to be happy. but then again, you taught me that for every bit that love makes you happy, it can make you twice as unhappy.

-A-

2010-11-14T10:30:00.003+08:00

today is sunday, the first day of the week.
and i just spent the first hour that i'm awake of the first day of the week opening my eyes, eating waffles and blogging.

and i've not wrapped my mind around who actually reads my blog.
like who actually enjoys reading annoymous declarations of love, pathetic whining over the lamest stuff and profound statements of love i share for strawberry, caramel, platinum blondes in general.

if harry potter told you that he could grant any wish you could probably conjure up, what would you ask for?

contrary to popular belief, i will not ask for instant popularity, or for the most flawless beauty known to mankind to be bestowed upon me, or to be blessed with the talent of a child prodigy, or to wake up next morning swimming in a ocean deep of green bills and gold coins.

i will ask for someone to come back into my life.

if anyone's thinking that it's you, it's probably not.
cause it's a he, and his name starts with a letter E.

i'm seriously doubting that i actually inherited genes from my parents. i'm considering that the likelihood of me being mixed up with some kid when i was three hours old and bald and bloody and wailing is kind of there.

because no one seems to understand the language that i talk over the dinner table, the fascination i share over words with more than six syllable, the attraction of all things nerdy.

i'm born into a family where they have hitler's family tree at the back of their hands.
my dad has a drawer full of singapore's history notes somewhere in his room, my mom failed her sciences in her Os and As, my sister was a literature and history kid, my older brother majored in social sciences, my brother can label european countries on a map and tell you which day pearl habour was bombed.

and i'm a sore thumb among everyone else.
they all shut down when i talk about the various forms of tocopheryl acetate (aka vitamin E) and how former soviet union has enough smallpox virus to stage a worldwide massacre and leave me out when they travel to the goodly world of charles dickens and joseph stalin.

thanks for making me feel welcome.
really appreciate the thought and effort.

Words can’t even describe the feeling I get when I hear a song and it feels like it is about me, like it was written just for me and what I’m going through, explaining my life, or something that’s going on in my life. Sometimes enough to bring a tear to my eye. It is amazing. It feels like the song was written just for me.

Music is so amazing in that way, it can relate to so many different people all over the country, all over the world. Its like nothing else, it is the way you’re feeling, it’s you’re emotions, it’s happy, sad, inspirational, empowering, just simply amazing. with so many different genres out there, there is something for everyone. It brings people together, it is like a language that everyone can understand, wherever you’re from and it can touch anybody and everybody. All they have to do is listen.

-Hayley Klinkhammer

-A-

2010-11-13T22:55:00.003+08:00

HOLYCOWWWWW.
THIS IS FRIGGIN' ADORABLE.

'imma cheerleader, but i don't know what does this mean.' *points at shirt*
ilove mini quinn!

and little puck is AWESOME.

-A-

2010-11-12T21:28:00.008+08:00

ohgod, ilove this girl to pieces.
the songs that she comes up with are so brilliant and this is probably the first time in my entire lifespan that i actually look up the meaning of a word in a song. and the word's cheam, it's patriarchal and it means 'ruled or controlled by men'.

anyway, thumbs up for people who have used an encyclopedia in the last six months, (attempted) to read 'my antonia' and know how the hell the dewey decimal system works.

(prove me wrong but i have a sneaking suspicion that there are actually people who do not what the shit is the dewey decimal. if you were thinking it mean changing one fifth into zero point two, i'm sorry to disappoint you)

dance was omigod-could-time-pass-any-slower.
if the japanese were to invade singapore again, they should totally hire my dance instructor and install her in the torture chambers.

1. i don't know whether is it a good thing or not when your CCA forces you to put salom pas on your ass. and friggin' hell, it doesn't work! i still have a sore ass.
2. and i guess there's a reason why dancers are in dance and not like applying for a scholarship to juilliards cause WE HAVE NO MUSICAL TALENT. xiantong and i can sit at the piano for half an hour playing love story which pretty much failed. yingyi cannot play 'mary had a little lamb' HAHAHAHA, but she can now! *claps* and it took me like three decades to figure out how to play 'doe a dear a female dear...'
3. IRENE NG, YOU SUCK. i don't know why either. cause we do gay shit stuff after dance and steal PSLs' food.
4. i swear my dance instructor has a knack for demoralizing people. like she's probably the president of the let's-douse-cold-water-on-people club. and thus, all the 'i cannot do it' statuses the dancers have been spamming on facebook.
5. AHHH, DANCE. open house is in 16days and we just chose what song to dance to today. how efficient, guys.

AK47s. ballistic missiles. nuclear bombs
sure thing, these weapons kill. they kill you fast enough that you wouldn't be able to feel anything.

but to me, your words are worse than these badasses.
every punctuation mark you end your sentence with, every dot on your letter i, every letter t that is crossed is like a knife pierced through my skin.
it doesn't kill but like hell, it sure hurts alot.

or another nerdy-er way of saying it would be the pain that you unknowingly inflict on me is like how viral pneumonia would feel like.
i feel like coughing every single thing about you off my chest, what it felt like tracing your hand with my fingers, what it looked like when you were thinking really hard but that never happens anyway,
cause pneumonia kills. slowly.

but before it does, it hurts so damn bad you want it to be over.

Can I help you see you're more than just that deadly phobia of fat
Cause I know that you'd feel better if you tried

Barbie could you meet me in the real world
Where girls don't look the same
And ambitions take them higher than your artificial fame

lately, i've been thinking that she's probably written a book on how to be popular. how to touch your friend's shoulder when your laughing at the wrong punchline cause it makes them feel better anyway. what kind of text to send on what occassion. where to hang out with the right crowd at the right place. how to scatter your sheer awesomeness on social networking site.

dudette, even girls grow up and stop playing with eleven-inch dolls,
when are you going to throw away that plastic shell of yours?

i never got why people got pissed at other people who lament over their marks even though they're like second in class or something like that. it's not because they don't how to count their blessings or they're just greedy fat bitches that survive because A1s are like necessary for them to respire. it's just a case of 'different people have different expectations'. sometimes A is not enough, sometimes being top is not enough. you should only stop when you're perfect. one zero zero. one hundred.

so please stop hating people who complain over their marks despite the fact that you may have an extremely hard on the eyes L1R5.

(i'm not saying me. just commenting. i'm not that smart anyway)

-A-

2010-11-10T20:51:00.006+08:00

Let me introduce you to:

me! also known as MAGNESIUM WONG.
evan! also known as OXYGEN NG.
margie! also known as POTASSIUM NG.
yingyi! also known as BORON FOONG.
wanxin! also known as ARGON TAY.
xiantong! also known as ZINC SEET.
denise! also known as GOLD FUNG.

retarded shit but who cares, IT'S THE END OF CHINESE O! LET FREEDOM AND PURE INSANITY PREVAIL!
rule of the game - the most retarded name wins.

O.M.G
today was MAJOR fun.
paying bubble tea with nine hundred and twenty cents in coins, debating with the guy at the bubble tea shop, bitching about juniors in the foodcourt, laughing non-stop cause it's just that hilarious, wishing that paper market was our second home, taking pictures with stupid things in the mall, poking at obese goldfishes and sitting at the train station for two hours.

'SOTONG ON!'
'ICE BLENDED!'
'LOOK AT THE FAT JIGGLE MANZ!!!'
'OMG. IS IT EATING ALGAE?!'

lovelovelove today. never had so much fun in weeks. laughed till our jaws cracked, choked on food and trained our abs.

tuesday afternoon was awesome too.
lunch with the CRAZY instructors.
sitting at the train station, missing seven trains in a row just to talk.
playing the game of who's-life-sucks-the-most.

maybe i won, didn't i, daphne?

;

you know what, i think i might just have a change of heart. a teeny-weeny bit. cause i don't want to love someone who doesn't love me back. there's no rationale behind it. when you love someone, you want them to be happy. because it pastes a smile on your face. and forcing yourself on them doesn't work. so even if the both of us have to stand by the wall and watched our loved ones jump and fall into love with someone else, we just have to swallow that bitter feeling down our throats cause we don't get to choose who we can love.

but at least you have it better, you have the courage to stand up for what you believe in. i don't. i just shrink into the size of a real algae and watch everything waltz by. just like taylor swift in 'teardrops on my guitar'. the first time it happened with A, i watched him gush about the girl he liked, long-night msn and sweet text messages (unbelievable i know!) and even though he pissed me off half the time. but i thought getting over him taught me a lesson.

here we go again.

i missed talking to you. we should talk more often.

oh, and i screwed up cheena maaaanz):
wrote bullshit. something about i lost my cat and the expensive way of solving the problem was to paste posters around the neighbourhood and the cheapo method was to leave a bowl of cat food outside your door and wait for kitty to come home.

someone please tell me, what the shit was i thinking at that time?

this holiday, i want to work hard.
this holiday, i want to go to math geniuses' houses and learn differentiation.
this holiday, i want to mug chem like i've never done before.
this holiday, i want to feel smart.

cause i know that my results are the only thing i have almost full control over. friendship problems, love problems, CCA problems are just oh-god-get-the-fuck-out-of-my-life. but this, my A1s, i can rein them in.

plus, it makes me bitterly happy to know that i will get better grades than you because i hope it's a slap in your face.

mean bitch, but whatever.
get used to it.

i swear, the next time i actually hear people saying 'OMG. CEDAR DANCE IS LIKE THE COOLEST THING EVER KNOWN TO MANKIND' i will give you ONE.TIGHT.SLAP.

you want to try enduring muscle aches half of your life, bruises on knees and elbows, demoralization from instructors because they scream the fucking shit 'WHY IS YOUR TECHNIQUES SO LOUSY' at you and she shows you videos from other schools and you're like thinking gold-with-honors-are-you-kidding-me.

think that dance is just shaking your bootie, raising your hands up in the air, look the same as the rest of the world and putting on a brilliant smile with heavy make-up and all and everyone loves you just because you're a dancer?
for the love of god, NO.

-A-

2010-11-08T16:31:00.005+08:00

what's the easiest thing to be in the world?
anything but yourself.

teachers and impending doom of exams flick the switch that turns on the shut-the-fuck-up-and-just-mug mood. comfortable friends and lovely weather turns on the crazy mode. two faced pieces of shit switches on the maybe-i'm-neutral-or-maybe-i'm-just-trying-to-keep-a-straight-face-since-i'm-fantasizing-about-pulling-the-trigger-of-the-gun-on-you. and sometimes it's just the 'i need to say something, laugh, say a bad punchline, talk about homework, anything, just fill up the goddamned silence' kind of shit.

and it's so easy, just on-off, and on again, and off.

fuck the 'you're my missing puzzle piece and i can't do without you',
i thought one person would have taught me that lesson hard enough and each time i walk past her, eyes not locking is a tight slap in the face. i thought that by the proverb 'once bitten twice shy' i could breathe again even after some people's words knock the air out of my lungs.

well, i'm still alive, holding on.
with people like yy, xiantong, wanxin, margie, evan, crystal, eleanor, evan, woan chin where you do the most ridiculous things like debating on the birds, play hide and seek on the spiderwebs, fiddling with love match on crystal's iphone and laughing till we get abs,
the walk through life is so much easier.

and no, i'm not blogging anyone. i'm blogging about myself.

THE BIG O.
not that O, the other one.
THE CHINESE OLEVELS.

FML):

Why did I invest on a love that had an expiration date?
-A-

2010-11-07T20:30:00.004+08:00

for the love of camwhoring(:

my mom just threw a hissy fit over my studying just because no one wanted to go throng the streets of orchard road with her. like what the shit, mom, i'm waving a sign here that ways my chinese Os are in three days, and that's not supposed to be news but your facial expression is telling me something else. so welcome to the world where all your mom knows is how you to scold you when you didn't get an A1, but doesn't know when the hell's my exam and what the shit am i tested.

thankgod for the invention of the guitar,
or given how much pent up shit is inside me, my mom would have died and came back alive nine times.
shhh, maybe she's secretly a cat.

for the love of god, what happened to the times where we wanted someone to shove out of of the way we said 'excuse me' and not 'fuck off'.
where the word 'best friend' existed in our dictionaries and we didn't have a truckload of friendship problems and a library full of names of enemies that irritate the hell out of you with their antics.
and where reading you was as easy seven times three.

i swear i'm not going to take a roller coaster for like the next thirty-six months cause i'm still feeling the aftershocks of the terrifying mummy roller coaster ride where the goddamned thing just breaks apart and crash into walls and everyone dies and there's blood everywhere and my friends turn into cadavers in my dreams.
scary much.

and i've decided that i don't want to die that early or that easily anymore (yingyi, learn from me)
cause being alive is an honor. cause the public health officials spend millions to make sure that the food you eat is ecoli free and that you won't get dysentry from drinking tap water or that you would not get smallpox from playing basketball in school.
sorry, this is the after-effects of finishing two and half nerdy science books about SARS and a whole ton of shit nobody cares when i should be mugging for Os.

hey, but did you know that you could die in an air-conditioned room because there are bacteria in the cooling towers that causes the vascular inflammation of the lungs which is fatal?

ilove reading science books because it gives a whole new definition to ending your life.

irony of the day;
the girl that loves the taste of strawberry cough syrup, buys a stash of paracetamol from the pharmacy, i'm actually reading the book on the deadly effects of overdose of meds. like how you can get cardiac arrests and lose your mind and be paralysed and all that good jazz.

i'm praying, hoping, holding onto that last shard of hope that after all our laughs, all our long nights, all our sweet text messages, all our inside jokes that you actually care.
and that you meant it when you said iloveyou.

-A-

2010-11-07T12:27:00.002+08:00

well,
i never needed an excuse.

HAHAHAHA, ystd was a whole load of fun.
major bitching session and let's-bully-yy-the-kid plan during dinner and just major camwhoring throughout the night.

AND IRENE NG THE PYSCHO. OH THE HORROR, IRENE NG, ARE YOU READING THIS?!!!!

and i dressed reasonably decently,
i think.
if you ignored the junior's and the fellow sec3dancers comments about the (not so) plunging neckline.

i'm going to eat lunch now,
coming back to spam photos from ystd.

-A-

2010-11-05T20:59:00.005+08:00

one word to describe 'speak now'
AWESOME.

for people who say her songs all sound the same, gosh, this will so prove you wrong. the album has like songs that are 6minutes45seconds long (?!!!), to hayley-williams-ish rock songs, to lullabys, to songs with an ochestra in the background, and of course, the familiar love songs that we oh-so-adore.

spent the whole day blasting the CD through the stereo until my brother could memorize the entire track list and my parents are calling me to turn the damn thing off.

the girl with no flowers;
i've missed you too! gosh, now we sound like those blond blond people on hannah montana that air-kisses eac other whenever they meet. HAHAHAH. for our next date, make it more awesome okay! and the reply to my paper towel letter!

yy;
i guess that's how the whole world works. and we've established the fact that life sucks, take drugs for a long time already, haven't we. yay, taylor swift! remember you're sponsoring my ticket to her concert!

I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how
I've never heard silence quite this loud

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me
I don't know what to say since a twist of fate when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

;
remember in the train, you thought that i wasn't listening, you told her that you'd never want the two of you to drift apart. but it kind of happened didn't it? so if you never told me that you would want me to stay by your side forever, holding your hand and not letting go, does that mean you predicted this would happen?
that we could be sitting across each other and you're looking through me like i'm glass, that you wouldn't look into my eye when you said good-bye, that i have a world of words to say to you but i just don't know how to type it into a text and send it to you?

ilove how taylorswift has written a song for almost all the situations that we could be in.
and this one's for us.

i haven't been posting pictures in quite a while.
someone needs to remind me to do so.

-A-

2010-11-02T21:49:00.007+08:00

if you watched taylor swift on ellen 2010, you might probably maybe get a deeper understanding of why i, yours faithfully, and along with a thousand other girls in the world is love with the girl. and that we would play 'love story' or 'mine' when we walk down the aisle, blast her well-known breakup songs when something didn't work out, laugh at the way her autobiography is written because she's some awesome writer with a way with words, smile tenderly at the comptuer screen when you see her on the behind the scenes of mine treating little kids to anything they wanted at toys r us. (and apparently the teens found the electronic sections and she bought them like an itouch each - imagine that - while the tods carry their barbie dolls half the size of them and toy cars and light sabres)

has your korean pop star bought 6 itouches, tons of barbie dolls and thomas trains and star wars figurines for kids? (nothing against koreans. can be your italian pop star for all that i care)

and for those who say she can't sing, well she's written a song for you (mean, if you wanted to know) and if you watched her recent performances, she's not as pitchy as before. and even if she sucked the hell out of herself, she has her compasionate and caring and lovable character to make up for it anyway.

okay, i tried resisting spamming my blog with videos of taylor swift. but sorry, i failed. just two, okay?

her reactions are priceless, my dears.

oh, and if anyone wants to borrow her speak now album after i've gotten it, drop a hint, a text, a facebook message, a tag. anything. would be more than happy to share the music. the love.

iloveyou, taylorswift. 9feb, i'm waiting.

;
if you think that no one understands, think again. even the smartest people have felt low at some points of their life. they would have felt equally demented and moronic and idiotic and retarded and so on so forth. instead, think about the times where you felt smart. that time where you beat your partner to solving a math question, when you got first for a chemistry quiz, anything. and i swear, no one, no one judges you by your grades. if she does, then she's probably not your friend. and teachers are not counted cause they're all materialistic in the A1 kind of way, and dumb in a way.

just claw your way back to where you belong.

just checked my marks on nitrix. thank god for things that chem and ss/geog that put you 5th and 2nd in class respectively. had to look at my emath and amath mark with one eye cause it was just like last in class, second last in class and all the shit.

-A-

2010-11-02T19:47:00.003+08:00

"Hang on, you mean the corpse had an erection?"

HAHAHAHAHAH. THAT.WAS.EPIC.

lesson extension = SLEEPY.
it's like a for-the-love-of-god-just-let-me-go-back-to-sleep kind of lesson.

yay! had a half-failed study date with yy and xiantong today.
loving i-feel-like-doing-homework streaks and i-just-hate-that-bitch talks.
(:

to the girl who turned up late for our date without flowers;
thanks for saying yes to the question that never had a question mark. letters on paper towels are not as cool as camwhoring in victoria theatre's toilet (seriously!), blasting every single dime in our wallets on desserts at posh restaurants, failed shopping dates which ended up measuring the height of a skyscraper heel using your face and just suan-ing you cause everyone is cool like that.

yay! (today's kind of like a happy post. yeah, it's blue-moon rare so suck it all up through the straw)
i got alot of holiday plans(((((:

1. PROJECT HAIR EX10SHUNS. (no i'm not a lian, or a something wannabe, I'M REBELLIOUS yo)
2. math study dates with math geek who got 95 for endyears. (just give me two-thirds of her score, i'm floating to heaven)
3. shop-pling! (even though me+yy+xt are broke like nobody's shit thanks to some people)
4. manicure date!
5. airport date!
6. crying foursome outing!
7. buy taylor swift's album(:
8. ohyeah and the most depressing one, CHINESE Os.

hmmm, let's see, am i following the advice of our dear teachers who preach to us about the utmost importance of time management and that we shouldn't just waste our lives away like that cause we're just pathetic shit like that?
NO?

yay! got my contacts todayyyyy(:
but my asshole brother picked a spec frame that's like 99.8 percent similar to mine.

yay! momma's gonna give me-ah sum of moneh to spend on shoez! LALALALA.

okay. happy mood pause. emo, you roll.

i thought it'd be easier if i just moved on, forget we never were friends because it would be easier that way. because we live in two seperate worlds. you have your type of friends. i have my hilarious-assed and smart-assed friends. putting the two of us together would be asking two postive cations to become something, idk. it just doesn't work that way. and i'm sorry it didn't turn out the way i would have wanted it to be. something special, something close to my heart.

back to weird and insane.

i finally realized what is it like to actually freak out when you see someone sleep-talk in his sleep (obviously)
slept at 1am last night rushing chinese homework and then caught my brother jerking out of his sleep, waving his hands in the air screaming 'OUTSIDE. OUTSIDE. OUTSIDE!' and then his eyes flutter open, his eyeballs blank but staring at you (like how a dead person's eyes look lifeless but as if he could see into the depths of your soul that kind) and then he flips back into sleep position and snores. god.
it's downright freaky.

so now i pity my mom when she saws i wake her up in the middle of the night because i sing off-key 'she wear short skirts, i wear tshirt' (okay, i swear i'm weird. proven. thankyou. very much) or just pouring shit out of my mouth cause that's what i do half the time when i'm wide awake.

and for dancers (esp. yy, since i'm pretty sure i would be sleeping next to you),
god bless you for dance chalet.

OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
1. have you bought taylor's new album? speak now? yes? yes? yes?
2. it's okay if your answer was no. have you listened to the #1 single mine? uh-huh? title rings a bell?
3. it's okay if you haven't. JUST GO LISTEN TO IT.

i'm in the mood to like write a review once i lay my hands on the shiny mine-y speak now album(((:
whatever, point is. GO LISTEN TO THE SONG 'BETTER THAN REVENGE'. IT'S BETTER THAN ANYTHING. probably my favourite song on the album.
sypnosis: this song is about taylor swift bitching. one-hundred-and-one-percent-friggin-UN-believable. it's hayley-williams-ish. awesome song.

i'll probably post a list of songs you should listen to since i want to infect everybody with the taylor swift spirit and yeah, save you to the trouble of going through the entire album.

I.LOVE.PEOPLE.TO.READ.ENGLISH.ROMANCE.BOOKS.PERIOD.
and to hell to those who think that these library books with a heart shape on the spine equates to oh-that-book-is-all-about-americans-fucking-each-other. oh, you stupid shallow mind.
paranormal romance. historical romance. suspense romance. (oh god, i'm in love with the latter)

and reading chick-lit does not mean we're shallowed holes, bimbotic, people who only care if our green shoes matches the jade in our earrings. no, dudette, no.

please do not judge people by the books they read. a moron can read 'presentation skills of steve jobs' and albert einstein can read geronimo stilton -that mousey yellowy book that we all read in primary school - for anyone that cares.

on thursday, speak now will be in my hands. AHHH, CANT WAIT.
-A-

2010-10-29T14:29:00.003+08:00

"It's been like a permanent December, so much colder than I can remember."

that pretty much sums up the days without you.
and if you think that i'm another medusa with thirty-six meter long tentacles,
i'd guess you'd never understood me even after all the telephone calls we've been through.

'omigod, i'm so boredddd. can i go and play now...'
'and play means going to 3i?'

one year and counting.

today's the first day of stinking holidays that don't even feel like holidays judging from how my calendar looks like. marked out days for dance practices, lesson extensions, study dates with math geeks and teachers.
but it also means that i've spent one entire year as a stupid upper secondary kid, forty weeks as a trip science kid, half the time i wished i wasn't while the other half scholars and nerds make me feel as if someday, i could actually belong there.

i'd never gotten why people have such biasedness towards scholars.
like,

'who got the highest in level for____?'
'must be that yu yu right that scholar with the centre parting!'

again, what do some people see is that they're just this mad freak maniac machine that kind of thing that all they do is to generate A1s,
but if they never got to mingle with these people they'd never know that some scholars doze off more in class as compared to yours sincerely, born and bred local kids. and they have times when they don't hand in homework. and get a question wrong. and laugh. and make jokes.
and blend in like a typical kid.

but then again, i'm not saying that trip sci kids are cool and smart while double science people are the only students who L1R5 more than 30 and don't do their homework and don't pay attention and sleep in class.
the whole point is i don't get why people label people by what they study.

yeah, whatever, i'm proud to be in trip sci.
cause we sing off-key glee songs, cast classmates in a make believe twilight movies and bitch about teachers.

it's 2.44PM and i'm kind of procrastinating. for the love of god, just look at the pile of homework we have.
so i'm sitting here listening to taylor swift's newest album (in your face, camilla belle and joe jonas) and i'm loving the songs she's written.

-A-

2010-10-28T21:27:00.007+08:00

the ultimate love of all.

not that taylor swift will magically prance onto my blog and read this but still,
thankyou thankyou and once again thankyou for coming to singapore.

and now,

I.AM.GOING.TO.SEE.TAYLOR.SWIFT.IN.THE.FLESH

i'm finally going to meet the person who made me pick up the pick (HAHA) and started to play the guitar, told me that music stands for you whenever people couldn't, made me feel better through her lyrics that i wasn't the only one who didn't fit in, and convinced me that everything you fell you'll bounce back and be stronger than before.

feb9 HERE I COME.

sighs, i wanted this post to be all pure and holy and innocent taylor swift.
but,
i need to rant.

today i went for the i-failed-amath-thus-i'm-stupid talk.
betcha never knew that 101 students failed amath (unless you are part of that statistic)
one-third of the cohord.
i think we're already secretly named as the demented class of 2011.

but point is:

to miss chin and to all other teachers in the world who only believes that the reason why students fail is because A, they're dumb or B, they didn't study,
i studied. i really did.

what people see is my ability to fail an amath paper again and to talk non-stop after that.
what they don't see is that i stay up late till 3am in the morning doing tenyearseries, harrassing the smart asses of the class in the middle of the night on how to do coordinate geometry, shredding papers after twelve tries of not being able to prove a goddamned trigo identity and falling asleeep doing surds and dreaming about the solution jerking myself up and realize that was just plain bullshit and continue to do stupid surds.

so what happened, you asked.
maybe i'm stupid, like maybe i'm really really really stupid, like low IQ, demented and all, i don't know.
and if i'm really a failure, then i'd guess ignorance is bliss.

(if you were thinking that i didn't do THAT badly because i didn't get 7/100 and i shouldn't be bullshitting, this is MY blog, i write whatever i want. this is not YOUR chem textbook, you're not obliged to read it. thankyou)

for those who thought i was probably the only fan of taylor swift in this teeny weensy little red dot,
there's a sg fan club for taylor swift.
and cat A tickets (best seats in the house) to her concert were snapped up like this *snap* *snap* *snap* OVER.
so apparently i'm not the only crazy shit that jumps up three feet off the ground when she reads the news that sg is the first stop of her world tour and start to sing speak now at 6am in the morning until her mom says 'stfu'

ilovetaylorswift,

(i'm going to insert a ilove-that-crazy-curly-blond-girl-who-wears-purple-specs taylor swift paragraph in between every incessant ranting paragraph so i won't appear to be an ultimate complaining spoilt bitch but i can be a ultimate complaining spoilt and INSANE bitch)

;

i never got it.
who stood by you all these time.
who racked her goddamned mind to find ways to lift your spirits.
who turned her head back all the time to make sure if you were okay.

but like whatever happens in my life,
no matter how hard i try, it never turns out the way i want it to be.

so in the end,
it just comes up to be that-

i'm not like a smart-ass six pointer who memorizes the periodic table and can recite all the cities in europe back to back.
i'm not cool like how you'd want me to be. rebellious, wide wide wide social network, downright hilarious sense of humour, never tell the punchline wrong kind of person.
and that i'm an extremely annoying person, or so people are telling me half the time.

oh, and noisy. and not very pretty. and insane. and lazy. and slow at running. and bad at dancing. and a magnet for trouble.

sorry that i'm not good enough for you.

okay, get used to this i'm-emoing-in-one-parag-and-the-other-i'm-hysterical-about-teen-pop-sensation-taylor-swift thing.

anyone of you who didn't give me a birthday present because idk,
a) you forgot, facebook reminded you
2) low on cash
3) huh, say what. algae has a birthday?
4) you hate me
5) other reasons, please state: ______

you can buy me the bestest birthday present ever by sponsoring part of my taylor swift concert ticket because yes, i admit, it's goddamned expensive, but at the same time, it's probably the once in the lifetime chance that i'll ever see her.
and you can also take it as the money you pay at the funeral, because one of the most important things i must do before i die is to see her in the flesh, the blond hair, the blue eyes.

thankyou thankyou thankyou.

the above totally sounds like those charity shows where they play those clips in black and white and after that you'll see those bunch of rich kids sitting in front row with their trophy wives an ralph lauren suits tapping at the sides of their eyes to wipe away the non-existent tears.

but no, you're not like those mean people right.
so yingyi, sponsor meeeeee.

cause i save a dollar a day. and it'll take me 7months to save up like 150bucks?
which means my buy-a-whole-loaf-of-wholemeal-bread-and-everyone-asks-are-you-crazy-or-crazy masterplan has to go on for a long long long time.

k-w-e-e-s-t-a-l,
please please please bring the taylor taylor taylor swift swift swift score and play for me!!!!

i swear, i will extend to you like a lifetime worth of gratitude and let you drag me around and whole school and make me pay for your green tea if you do that(((((:

i don't get it why some people are so pissed off why smart kids cry/complain/rant over their results even though it's like A1 A1 A1 A1 all the way.
dude, it's their business.
and you'll get used to it somehow when you're in a trip sci class.

bitch, please go away, kill yourself, jump off a building, jump into a blast furnance, jump onto a bed of needles, remove your ugly face from the face of earth, and vanish from all traces of our lives.
thankyou very extremely much.

T to the A to the Y-L-O-R!

-A-

2010-10-22T22:35:00.003+08:00

my dear;
if my happy pill is not happy then how am i supposed to smile?

today was just a plain bullshit day.

okay, i'm sorry if i'm the worst counseller to people who scored badly for exams ever known to mankind, cause i'm always getting responses like that.

'you okay or not?'
'i failed ____'
'don't be sad! it's okay one!'
'how much did you get'
*insert grades here*

then she will shoot with me the can-you-please-fucking-go-away look.

case two:

'how did you do?'
'terribly! i feel like crying now.'
'how much did you get.'
*insert grades here*
'you talk what shit. your marks so high, still say.'

and the one that makes me the happiest-

'aiyoooo! don't look so sad! how much did you get?'
'A2.'
'i got C6 leh.'
'ironic huh, the one who's gotten a C6 is dancing around like santa claus comforting the one with an A2.'

lovelovelove sitting next to the PRC people when they swear as they look upon their A2 with anguished face while yours sincerely punch the air in triumph when i passed by three-and-a-half marks.

okay, but whatever,
i screwed the whole goddamned endyears up and i'm not going to cry over the fact that i didn't score A1 for my sciences (the first time in my secondary school life major examination history EVER, period)
and sitting in my tri sci kia class sometimes sucks:

'how much you get?'
'91.5!'
'oh, i got 93.5!'

and then you stare at your pathetic B4 on your paper.

and even though screwed up grades doesn't exactly mean that i should rush to throng the streets of orchard in skyscraper heels. but then again, whatever. the teachers can say whatever they like.

'shut up, keep quiet'
'how many times do you want me to repeat this'
'let's see if you can laugh after you receive your paper.'
'this is your third year going through papers, and you don't know how to keep quiet?'
'MARK SHEET. WHERE IS THE MARK SHEEEEEEET.'

and i scretly laugh at the fact that they're all probably going to die prematurely because heart attack claims like alot of lives (mr frith is spared though cause he's really nice even though our english must be terrible. sweetest teacher ever. he calls our compostions sophiscated and stylish. seriously, he makes me sound as if i'm j.k rowling).
so yeah, that's in your face for all the screaming that probably doesn't do us any good at all.

i want that GQ magazine badly. (diana argon!!!!!!! screams&squeals!)
yay yay yay but i bought my 10dollar taylor swift magazine (with only 5pages of taylor swift)
!

lovelovelove writing emo songs.
-A-

2010-10-20T22:34:00.004+08:00

But you don't know,
What you don't know.

Someday I'll be living in a big old city,
And all your ever gonna be is mean.
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,
And all your ever gonna be is mean.

Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with the switching sides,
And wildfire lies, and humiliation.
And you, have pointed out my flaws again.
As if I don't already see them.

I walk with me head down,
Trying to block you out, cause' I never impress you.
I just want to feel okay again.

the LOVE of my life.
the BLOND in my eyes.
the GIRL of my dreams.

YAY! today was such a fun day(:

had my hands henna-ed and the name of the love of life is on my hand!!!!!
(and the girl who did is another TAYLOR SWIFT fan! how cool!)
and chinese opera was a major ROFL-
me + shayna = total fail at chinese!
JIALE + YIXIN + NURIN = hilarious.

plus, dance wasn't even that bad.

laura darling;

thankyou(:
i know your life will be dull and uninteresting without my insane affection towards you and my listening ear, yeah, and i shall take your advice and look at the world with both my right and left eye, i'm sure it'll be a nicer place to look at. but you and her should patch up or else i'll end up being cock-eyed. and and and i didn't bitch about you i swear.

and don't worry, i'm happy.
with you, i'm always happy.

(and i blogged about you! seems like a really long time already, be honored!)

OHNONONONO,
my favourite junior broke her leg):
cast, crutches, wheelchairs and all.
please please please get well soon.

;

i don't know what words can i use to describe your level of fake-ness. it's like, have you ever done plastic surgery on your heart? if there ever was a two-faced bitch competition, you wouldn't just claim top prize, the sash, the tiara and all.

you'll be crowned as the queen of two-faced bitches.

so please do not going around saying that i'm a mean bitch, a big fat bully and liar and whore and slut and make it all out to be that you're the little meek innocent lamb that goes around with an outstretched hand, breathing in other people's pity like it's air.

oh, and i forgot if i mentioned this in my last blog post.

i think i'll never see an A1 for math ever again.
(shut up people if you're thinking 'oh she always say she never study and in the end still get super high marks, what a hypocritical bitch'. i mean it, stfu.)
miss chin's leaving us for good to study in new york (!!!) and all that good jazz,
and since the fuel that drives me to do surds, logs and trigo was to make miss chin proud and she's saying buh-bye,

I REALLY HATE THE SCHOOL.

i really feel like failing all my subjects, get an L1R5 of 54 and complain to the ministry about what the shit school is this and their stupid i-got-band-1-for-7-years-in-a-row-only-one-in-singapore shit will be like this-legacy-cant-be-continued. and it'll one big fat tight slap in their faces.
(if only. can't afford to screw my grades up though.)

ohgosh, why did this blogpost end on such a bad tone.
think happy, be postitive, and smile.
you can do it, algae.

-A-

2010-10-19T17:51:00.003+08:00

lovin' taylor's latest single (insert heart),
and this is one tight slap for those people who say that all she ever writes about are pathetic songs about pinning over failed high school romances.

i don't get it, i really don't.
you should probably fly down to my living hall now to explain to me.

why do you people always like to pick on me.
i know i'm not part of the average crowd,
i know i'm not so high and almighty like you and your as-close-as-yarn-in-a-knitted-sweater friends who think that they're second to none,
that never gave you a right to piss me off.
but before you start rattling off on what a ugly slut i am,
think about how you're screwing up your own life.

(and the best part is she didn't even stand up for me)

okay, so whatever;

school's like a complete drag queen,
told laoshi that principal addresses were like 'limited vocabulary kind of a talk because all the principal can pronounce is 1.0, where is the bloody 1.0 and how we're all so stupid and we totally corrode the school's perfect image of being band1 schools and all that holy shit'
and she totally gave me that are-you-fucking-serious look.

and miss chin is leaving.
and like another whole bunch of awesome good good teachers are leaving the school because apparently 'the bitch' apparently has taste comparable to those slutwhores who wear purple with yellow and orange and lime green and say I'M THE NEXT KATY PERRY, SO HOT HUH.
so i should totally forget about the dance trip to italy cause i will be failing all my subjects cause i will be having teachers who walk into the class and say OH. TRAPEZIUM. WHAT'S THAT, CLASS? or those who use happy meals to teach biology.

for the love of god, save me.

oh and BLAH BLAH BLAH, LIKE I'M KE-KE-KE-SHA.
YAY and hippe-ooray cause all the teachers think that we'er stupid and worthless and hopeless and brainless and idk.
the results are going to be released on friday and prepare for voices of scratchy sixty year olds breathing onto the mike and amplifying throughout the entire auditorium.
1.0!!!!!
your petphrase, our cue to roll our eyes.

the night's young and so are you,
dress however you like.
say whatever you want.
cause you're only going to have this one shot.

BYE BITCH.
(i want go italyyyyyyyy. imagine picturesque venice and florence and rome and then 'HIIIII, I'M ALGAYYY' that horrifying face pops up against the backdrops of passionate musicians and museums)

-A-

2010-10-16T12:35:00.003+08:00

Don't tell me or her who to love.

truth or dare?
truth;
i hate apologizing. i hate admitting that i'm wrong. i hate having to swallow my pride and say sorry.

and that's probably the reason why i'm keeping my distance.

plus, it just dawned upon me how hard is it to be friends with two people at loggerheads, constantly devising plans to make sure the other will die a death of misery.
both of you are people that i love.
she's like my right eye and she's my left eye, and now i have to choose to shut one.
and i don't wish for people around us to feel that way. they have the right to love both of us.

so,
denise made the first move.
laura made the first move.
yy made the first move.

so why can't you?

thankyou!
for the vote of confidence.

thankyou for calling me weird and dropping not-so-subtle comments questioning my sexuality when i play my guitar, singing upon the most beautiful girl on my laptop's wallpaper.
thankyou for equating my music to the slaughtering of chickens in farm house and that you'd rather listen to the sound of drilling and soldering drowning the voice of the people around you.
thankyou for saying a whole paragraph and letting me infer that in your mind, i'm just a fat and ugly and stupid and worthless and frigid little spoilt brat.

thankyou for predicting my future since all your other children didn't turn out to be huge lawyers, infamous doctors, well-loved politicians, world-class musicians (wait, you don't even consider music as something. piano? what piano? *scoffs*)

youknow;
that i know that people are saying that i'm a hypocritical bitch just because i'm all anti-kpop and that whole bunch of let's-camp-overnight-to-see-those-plastic-asians and that i myself here fantasize alot a really drop-dead gorgeous blond whose songs in your eyes, all sound the same.

roll your eyes, go on, do it.

but what sets me apart from those people is not that westerners are cooler than a bunch of asians who used to be a plastic surgeon's dream or are mass produced in a barbie doll factory in china.

(i typed like a whole paragraph of why-is-taylor-swift-cooler-than-you and i realized i'm not exactly her PR manager, so i deleted it)

taylor swift is just cooler, period.

okay, today's post is just a cuckoo post cause i'm bored out of my mind and my fingers are BLEEDING. like gosh, annoying pieces of shit. i hate you fingers, you can't withstand my dance teacher's utmost important talks about elegance and sophisticated-ness and now, you can't even press on the goddamned guitar strings for more than two hours. go screw yourself, ask the middle finger to point at you, can? thankyou.

ohmigod, my aunty just called and she says she wants to be bring me to go dress-shopping warns me not to bring my mom along cause she's like a bucket of ice cold water. muacks, loveyou(:

'can i buy this?'
'buy for what. wear this, wear that, still look the same. don't waste my money.'

thankgod for people like my sis and aunty who indulge and splurge on me like a fifteen year old daughter they never had.

(yay! going vivo! lovelovelove, going to meet my beloved sis there!)

-A-

2010-10-14T16:01:00.006+08:00

THANKGOD!

now i can finally say adieu to scratching my neck in the middle of the night and waking up with bloodstained fingernails and inch-long scars, sleep-skinpeeling, insane sleep talking that wakes my mom up and of course, the crazy mugging that i gave up half way through.

oh and if cedar, you were looking for signs of mental illnesses among the student population, maybe my sleep-screaming and self-mutation activities while i'm unconscious could be of some help?

OMGWHKP!!!!

TWO MORE SINGLES FROM YOU, NO KIDDING ME?
ILOVEYOU TO BITS, TAYLOR.

for the fans of mr.half-naked-werewolf-from-twilight,
TAYLOR SWIFT WROTE A SONG ABOUT HIM.
even though i hate the man, i love the song.
and if you were wondering, it's called 'back to december'

10 MORE DAYS TO THE RELEASE OF HER THIRD ALBUM AND STINKING SINGAPORE IS NOT PRE-ORDERING IT.

what freakin' freedom were we saying when our emath endyears finished?
lesson extensions, postiche dance lessons, and then oh-you-failed-so-you-retain checking paper sessions.
and i celebrated my mark of freedom prevailing over haunting exams by borrowing 'treating brain injured children' from the library.
woah, krystal was extremely right about the algae-has-no-life thing.

(even scholars have more fun than me. they hit the streets of orchard once eng says 'you may go now', i google taylor swift after returning to an empty house)

i want to get electric blue extensions.
i want to get a rose tattoo.
i want to wear glitter eyeliner and mascara like a slut.
cause i'm cool and awesome and uncaring like that.

(totally helpful for my application for work experience at the law firm and stock exchange)

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,
And I go back to December all the time.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

-A-

2010-10-07T19:03:00.002+08:00

i swear, LIFE IS AWESOME WITHOUT YOUR PRESENCE.

*i curse in vietnamnese*
viet scholar: aiyoo, algae! cannot say one!
chi scholar1: what does that mean?
me and px: uh...
chi scholar2: is it a bad word?
me: kind of.
chi scholar2: does it mean fuck?

EPIC.
and i thought i was vulgar and all that good jazz.
and i thought chi scholars always complain that they will fail their english oral but godddd, they pronounced 'fuck' with the utmost clarity.
GOSHHHHH.

lovelovelove scholars and nerds like px.

okay and yes I KNOW i'm supposed to be studying and mugging, writing a few thousand essays, sleeping on my bio textbook hoping that stupid cardiac cycles and ultrafiltration will diffuse into my pea-sized brain.
BUT I'M NOT.
too bad.

ohandyes, i think i've probably mentioned this four zillion times but whatever i'm going to continue saying it cause no one's on msn and i'm bored like shit and i refuse to study. blah.

dear school,
you think that just because there are students who wind up with depression, you just stick this 'how to destress and live heathily' talk to us, all of us will go lay a yoga mat on the floor and start to meditate, feel at peace, study more and give you your holy 1.0?
i'm extend my most sincere apologies to you, BUT NO.

the best way to help us de-stress is to go screw yourself.

lovelovelove study dates with awesome kids like yy, denise, margie, xt and wanxin!
lovelovelove failed lets-study-plan with rachel and px!
lovelovelove truth and dare with px, vi, aiqian and jaslyn!

but everytime you try to butt in with your omg-isnt-my-laugh-adorable-and-dont-yaaa-lurve-my-sense-of-mofo-humor. I SHUDDER AND SIGH AND LOOK AT MY CHEM NOTES.

-A-

2010-10-03T22:41:00.003+08:00

YAY!
presenting my new love: SELENA GOMEZ!

nah, don't worry i'm still a taylorswift-girl at heart but SELENA GOMEZ IS AWESOME.

she sings spanish! like how cool is that? i bet no one knows that she sings spanish.
she performs live awesome-er than taylor swift!
she's gorgeous!!! (prettier than demi lovato, can't believe i didn't get sel's album)
and like what taylor swift does, she loveslovesloves her fans alot, she cried over her fans in a meet and greet!

and why selena > miley,
she's one hundred and two percent real. real eyes, real cheeks, real lips, real boobs.

the reason why taylor > selena,
TAYLOR'S BLONDDDD(and i love caramel blondes, strawberry blondes and platinum blondes all alike) and she writes her own songs!.

okayokayokay, so someone needs to tell me to stop stalking american girls (gosshhh, you're a phedophile!) and start mugging cause today's i-need-to-study-or-i-will-kenna-retain plan FAILED EPICLY. half of ss, a chapter of bio and three newton laws.
(i even had time to go out to shop for shoes and buy dinner, how industrious is that.very, apparently.)

-A-

2010-10-01T22:29:00.006+08:00

happy children's day!

guess that the figure1.1 above is like kind of random and irrelevant but it's like the very few pictures of kids i have in my comp and it's taken proudly taken by your sincerely, and no i'm not secretly a phedophile if anyone was wondering.

but then again,
when was the last time i've held someone's hands so tightly?
when was the last time my smile was that genuine?

even though i'm not like a number one fan or kids, (i totally think they should be banned cause they drink too much milk and their diapers strain our limited resources)
my trip to this poor poor poorer than poor, the kind of you-read-in-the mags-where-people-survive-on-1usd-a-day-and-my- green-tea-bottle-costs-like-1usd-like-woah-that-happens school in rural thailand taught my something;
you don't need fifteen As or ten thousand dollars or the world to be your friend to be happy.

cause these kids are the happiest lot of people i've seen for a long time,
and some of them don't wear shoes, they step on painful gravel on bare foot.

so that's a meaningful children's day hey-i'm-a-minister-and-you-singaporeans-kids-should-count-your-blessings speech, a peaceful break from my insane bitching.

so, how did we singaporeans celebrate children's day(oh, and our children's day is fake one, it's not international kind where all children of different skin colors hold hands and stand on the world that kind of streotype pictures. today is china's national day too!)

okay and even though i'm 15 and i'm not exactly a kid but whatever,
we're all young at heart!

yep, young at heart people get like a packet of prawn crackers from our bio teachers which immediately devour during chen's lesson, and a sweet from miss chin!
and our whole class went insane and we kept well-wishing each other happy children's day.
the sad life of trip sci kia, we study so much until the littlest things amaze us.

(but i don't study like mad mad and stuff still amaze me. woah, how intellectual, elgenia)

yay! we had physics today(:
gosh, our definition of physics is like 50minutes of non-stop comedy by our lovely stand-up comedian who fiddles with his hands and waits expectantly for the class to respond to insane physics questions and caught me daydreaming during lesson - no i mean, play time.

lovelovelove drawing diamonds! heh, random much. and btw, it's not the four-sided fake-o diamonds that we draw in primaryone, it's the woah cool chemistry tetrahedral kind.
lovelovelove watching scholars draw their national flags and their faces light up in glee cause idk, it's like cool to see people so happy and they're so innocent and child-like even though their brains are like isaac netwon-ish.
lovelovelove influencing them to not become model students!!! heh, we teach them how to 'walau' 'wahpiang' and how to to be messy and not to hand in homework cause it's awesome shit to be rebellious.

and singing off-key miley cyrus songs during recess is epic.
lovelovelove!

you know when exams are comingwhen you nap in the afternoon and you jerk out of slumber with you know that annoying song that they play in the train station, the 'train is coming... train is coming... please queue up!' that stupid asshole shit that freaks the hell out of me everytime they blast it, your brain remix-ed it itself and it becomes 'exams are coming... exams are coming' and that totally ruined my siesta.
hatehatehate this.

and to end my wonderfully random and not so interesting blog post of the day,
I.ATE.ALGAE.TODAY!
nah, it's not a sick joke where i sink my teeth into my arm (even though my haters would love to see that coming true, wouldn't you?) or when i lick off the sides of an aquarium or drink up a whole pond full of algae and another thousand different bacteria in it.
my mom (like me) is not exactly the most sane person in the world so when she saw this algae thing at the idk, supermarket, she obviously bought it cause i really really don't know, it's cool to see your daughter eating herself up or it's just cool shit cause no one eats green pond scum.
yep, so i ate myself. tasted pretty good. and just blasted three hundred words on having algae for dinner.

don't you just lovelovelove the way i blog cause i have so much cool things happening in my life?
(how right is that)

pssst, my momma's d-d-d-drinking absolute vodka but she doesn't want to share it with meee cause she says it'll make me stupid-er than i already am. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH (hello, i'm kesha!)

-A-

2010-09-29T21:12:00.003+08:00

"if she's pretty, then i'm taylor swift's daughter!"

ohmymymy, lovelovelove today's study date!
me+yy+xiantong+margie found our alter egos!

i'm taylor swift's daughter and i'm secretly blond.
xiantong's obama's mistress.
yy's xiantong's illegitimate child.
and marige's marilyn monroe's dog!
HAHAHAHAH. random much and totally no link, but it's a private joke!

"twin sisters from mumbai lah, INDIA!"
totally love bitching about people from all over the world.

but the study date was totally failed. we just ended up playing with margie's phone half the time and the other half of the time trying to finish all the food we had on the table.
but then again, WE HAD FUN. who cares about the rest, at most retain lah!

me and yy's perfect word to describe school - SUCKSSSSS.
triple math periods and math mock everyday and chinese mock every other day,TEACHERS ARE SECRETLY MERCENARIES!
and i'm going to see grossteo on monday three times in a day, every other period! SOMEONE REMIND TO BRING EYE DROPS LEST MY EYES GET INFECTION FROM BEING POLLUTED!!!!!

HAHAHAH, i'm a mean bitch but who really cares.

my logic:
you buy spectacles because you want to see right, so if your specs are blurry, thus they are FAILURES.
you use pens because you want to write and if no ink comes out, hence they are FAILURES.
you hire teachers because you want to learn and if you don't, HE IS A FAILED TEACHER.
this is pretty much what happens in my science lessons.

and these few weeks are probably going to be the only times when i don't regret joining a trip science class.
CAUSE SCHOLARS ARE LIKE AWESOME.
ilovelovelove hanging out with scholars cause they're like the cutest people on earth who sleep damn late and wake up damn early just to study! HAHAHA, and singaporeans bully them because we teach them how to swear and not to pay attention during lessons. all around me is like welcome to united nations, and i love swearing in vietnamese and laughing with my adorable indonesian classmates and all the funny things that we do.
(like singing primary school SYF choir set piece during chinese)

now, it's my turn to roll my eyes, scoff and say 'seriously?'
SERIOUSLY.

-A-

2010-09-26T18:59:00.002+08:00

You eat, you’re fat. You don’t eat, you’re a freak. You drink, you’re an alcoholic. You don’t drink, you’re a pussy. You read, you’re a nerd. You don’t read, you’re stupid. You tell a secret, you’re an attention seeker. You don’t tell a secret, you’re still attention seeking. You let someone in, you’re easy. You don’t let someone in, you’re too uptight. You smoke, you think you’re cool. You don’t smoke, you’re a loser. You’ve had sex, you’re a slut. You haven’t had sex, you’re a frigid little bitch. You wear make up, you’re a slag. You don’t wear make up, you’re ugly.

You can’t please anyone. Ever.

therefore,
i'm a fat, alcoholic, nerdy, attention seeking, easy, loser, ugly, frigid little bitch.

and since only dead fish swim along with the stream,
who gives a fuck about fitting in.

-A-

2010-09-25T10:45:00.003+08:00

i never gave up, you know.
you did.

stupid stupid stupid endyears and the bullshit propoganda that 1.0 is the only way to go in life.
stupid stupid goddamned stupid algae who left her metal notes in class and she ought to go screw herself and her chem exams.
stupid stupid stupid world, why the hell are we mugging on electrionic road pricing systems and remainder theorem when millions of girls the same age as us are working in brothels and as child soldiers.

i hate this flawed education system.

(not the first time you're hearing this and it won't be the last either)

ilovephysicslessons.
lovelovelove turning behind to talk to px and vi, indulge myself in drawing tropical rainforests and failed portraits of taylor swift and my physics teacher (i use a red pen to make his face seem like those you know, children books with alot of dots and you join them to make a picture. if you knew my physics teacher, you would know why our class wanted to buy him pimple cream as a teachers day present)

ilovestudydates.
lovelovelove yy and xiantong and all that shit that we do.

ilovetaylorswift.
lovelovelove beautiful song lyrics that make me cry a river and make me more depressed than i already am. but who cares, it's the emo age. we cut ourselves with a razor, we silt our wrists, we take sleeping pills, we free-fall from flats.

To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for waht you want over and over again ... even though every time you've tried before, you've lost. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless. Then moving on and being alright. That's being fearless too.

i. am. fearless.

-A-

2010-09-22T19:23:00.003+08:00

If you’re skinny, people will call you anorexic. If you’re intelligent, people will call you a smartass. If you are pretty, people will call you fake.

No matter what, people will always find something wrong with you.
And the trick is? Just don’t give a fuck.

okayso,
I LOVELOVELOVE UNIVERSAL STUDIOS!
even though like i swear i'm a scardey cat that totally throws face because i hold my junior's hand and tell her that i'm frickin' scared out of my mind before a roller coaster ride and i scream at explosions in the water show and stupid hippopotamus freak me out at lame egyptian rides.
proof? i took the same JUNIOR rollercoaster rides 7times and i'm still scared of it. took me 5tries before i dared to open my eyes on the ride.
conclusion? algae is not that fearless after all.

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT,
it was holycrap fun!
lovelovelove my sec1 juniors. they're downright hilarious.
we fight over cheese in the restaurant. (not the use of 'we' and not 'them') they fight over drinks in the restaurant. we camwhore with pizza plates.
and i hyperventilate after rides with sec1s too. EPIC FAIL SENIOR.

and hanging out with such innocent juniors make me wonder what makes angel-like and delicate cedarians who first step into cedar step out of cedar as a bitch.

YAY.
DANCERS ARE WEIRD PEOPLE!
margie's conclusion after failed study date at longjohns today.
you kind of don't need proof to back this hypothesis up do you?
just look around you. we've got the best of a million worlds.
the pretty, the bitch, the sluts, the nerds.
you want it all, we've got it all.

YAY-ER.
lovelovelove study dates with yy plus xiantong that turn into confessions of a deprieved childhood session.

1. yy dances with curtains because she thought they were lonely.
2. me and xiantong cut ourselves with razor blades cause... we are cuckoo and curious and all that good jazz?
3. and two of us tried shaving our eyebrows too.
goddd,
for the love of the things we do.

and (ex)left-handers unite!
being abnormal is AWESOME.
fitting in is so overrated.

AND MAJOR YAY YAY YAY!
laura's so not angry with me already!!!!
totally made my morning.

ohyeah,
and I.AM.GOING.TO.FAIL.MY.EMATH.MOCK(and probably my endyears too)
some ancient math god is like what waving at me and saying 'WELCOME BACK TO MATH REMEDIAL AND THE SAY HI TO THE BUNCH OF DUMBASSES WHO CAN'T TELL SINE FROM COSINE.'
asshole.

WALAU! I ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED MY CAMERA'S MEMORY CARD INTO WATER AND U-G-H, MY PICTURES ARE CORRUPTED. DANG, DANG, DANG, DANG.

i aspire to be smart someday.
SOMEONE LEND ME BIO AND CHEM NOTES.

-A-

2010-09-19T20:08:00.004+08:00

my bung girl (lovelovelove) and my new found (almost) makeup fanatic!

sprouts was thelove with yy, yx, suyu, denise, celine!
suyu+yx = THE ultimate comedy
denise+celine = THE ultimate scandal
me+yy = HAHAHAHA, i don't know. dysfunctional marriage?

thankgod, i made some sense of the dance performance in the end and LOVELOVELOVED putting on make-up and camwhoring in the toilet and taking unglam pictures of yixin.
just plain awesome.

today was awesome too,
cause you know when you hear one of your favourite glee songs playing early in the morning while you're having breakfast at IKEA, you know it's a sign.

my mom swore not to bring me to IKEA ever again even though we had so much funnn!

'eh, this dinning table galvanized. let's see how much is it...'
'iknow! galvanizing is zinc plating and it protects the steel by forming a barrier and as well as offering sacrificial protection as zinc is higher up the reactivity series as compared to iron'
*mom gives me 'are you serious or what' look*

'should we buy this frying pan? waaah, why so heavy one!'
'cause it's cast iron! *whips up metal notes* cast iron is made up of 96percent iron and 4percent iron and its known to be very heavy!'
(my mom walked away even before i finished my speech and yes, i brought my chem textbook to IKEA)

revising chemistry when shopping for furniture,
the height of my nerdy-ness.

guess what,
i'm sick and tired of listening to people's voices in my heads when i choose what i want to wear and whether i should wear makeup or not.
like *rolls eyes*, my mom thinks i'm a slut just because i reveal my shoulders and décolleté.
and if i wear makeup, i'm as good as pamela anderson or hillary scott.

but too bad,
my new motto in life is,
'being happy is more important than being proper'

so screw the hair that doesn't touch the eyebrows (let's shave our eyebrows!) and skirts that touch the knee (how do we remove our knees?)!!!

oh and by the way if you were wondering,
anderson's a playboy model and scott's a porn star, like a real real porn star not the let's-make-fun-of-someone jokes that we play in school kind of porn star.

and speaking of porn stars,
if i end up screwing my studies and the whole world decides that i'm a pathetic flith that pollutes music just by touching an instrument, i could just sign myself up for a boob job and face reconstruction and audition to be porn star.
and instead of winning some most caring doctor award or an mtv,
i could win like a best oral sex or best orgasm vocalist award.
HAHAHAHAandyes, there's like award shows for the porn industry too.

but then again, what makes me think i might be even be good at it.
LALALALA,i shall just resign to fate and accept that I SUCK.
probably the reason why me and yy click.

yy's like probably the only person i get closer to each time we fight/argue/bitch about each other.
and that probably happens everyday cause our daily conversations are like what,
'you BEACHHHHH.'
'eh, walau, you yesterday abit the two-faced bitch huh.'

but i've come to love the stuff we do.

ohgosh, love the feeling of being rebellious!
-A-

2010-09-18T12:01:00.002+08:00

universal studios were loads of funnn.

i sat on a roller coaster for the FIRST time in my life. and i sat like 3 rides in one night? totally felt like dying because i have this irrational fear of engines spoiling and the whole ride will just derail, crash and burst into flames and our bodies will be reduced to like what, i don't know, sand?
BUT.I.DID.IT
after like yx's encourage and celine's/yy's 'JUST GO LAH.'
nearly cried before the mummy ride. OHGOD, that was like goddamned scary.
and junior roller coasters were like JFRNEWDERWOCFNWODJD - it gave me and yx a heart attack!

the food was AWESOME. we ate at goldilocks and no, we didn't eat porridge.
HAHA.
me and yx were like hyperventilating over the food. BESTTT.

(hmmm. i realized celine has like a miserable facial expression in the photo.)

AND YAY,
i survived one torturous week of term4.
*rolls eyes*
teachers were like what, walking in and just scolding us half the periods cause apparently we don't pay attention and we're going to become cleaners ten years down the road if we don't hand in our homework and where's the goddamned 1.0 since we're cedarians, and we're supposed to have like huge brain volumes and etc.
like blah, blah, blah.
and examinations are coming in 2weeks and we're still so lackadaisical and when we see our results it's going to be shocker... if we don't buck up now, we're going to be goners.

ohgod.
and the school totally cheating our feelings cause like whatever the council's so screwed and the vp's a liar.
mr soo RETIRED. like what.
and mrs toh IS HERE TO STAY. like fuck?
okay, we have this let's-fail-endyears scheme cause the school thinks that if they give us failure teachers, we'll produce like sparkling gold results. but sorry, monkey teachers = peanut results.

and thankthankthankgod, i'm going out today with the dancers - no, scratch that. it's just me, yy, yx, suyu, denise and celine.
and i'm going to use yy's cookie fund to go buy my magazine, colored markers and bubble tea!
and and and....
nothing much to be happy about. just going to watch a dance performance i don't understand and yeah.

(i learnt how to play taylor swif't 'innocent'. it's almost at the bloody hard standard but i did it! lovelovelove tswift!)

-A-

2010-09-15T21:54:00.003+08:00

funny story,
my dad's chinese. okay, so not that i've been thinking that he's half-spanish and secretly comes from russia. but he's chinese. like he was born in china and lived in china? and here comes the best part of the deal: he can't speak chinese. like he can count one to ten in chinese, but that's like not counted. he can't understand the six-thirty news on the chinese channel. and he can't do my primary two school chinese homework. and he's from china. and the second best part of the deal is that her fifteen year old just found that that he's chinese after a decade?

i'm trying to decide who's more epic-
my china dad who can't speak chinese.
or the china dad's daughter who never knew her dad was an authentic chinese? like those cool people from shanghai that like speak chinese really fast in quirky accents?

okay, so on a not-so-weird note.
OMG.
MY DANCE LAOSHI LIKE PRAISED ME AND YY, AND YX AND SUYU TODAY.
LIKE KDIWENOERNFODRNR, i'm speechless.

and no, i'm not overeacting or bragging or whatever you think it is.

btw, she said 好! which means good in chinese.
(yeah, my dance laoshi's chinese. i don't know if she's china chinese or not. i can't understand her chinese half the time. but the fault probably lies with me cause i suck.)
yeah, so it's not exactly she wrote a speech and stood at the cedar podium and declared to the skies and the moons and the stars that the four of us were the most talented dancers that ever existed in the milky way and beyond.
but it's a start!

if yy read this, she would be like 'LAOSHI SCOLDED US LIKE SEVEN TIMES AND PRAISED US ONE TIME. IT'S NOT SOMETHING WORTH CELEBRATING. UGHHH. I CAN'T DO A SPLIT. I SUCK.'
typical pessimist.

hmmm, so what else happened today?
uh.
i think i need to go back to math remedial cause trigo's cheating my feelings by crushing me like a big fat rock even though i declared my profound love for it.
trigo, you suck.

'imma lesbian.'
the best way to say no to sex.
love love love SEL lessons with the people who sit around me, who are namely asian scholars and math geeks!
who says trip science kids have no sense of humor?

nay, i have chinese spelling to learn.
reliving primary schools days all over again!
and on a really random, random note-
GO LISTEN TO TAYLOR SWIFT NEW SONGS.

i'm pretty sure you'll like them cause two people made me EXTREMELY, ABSOLUTELY, VERY, SUPER happy/elated/jump over the moon/smiley just because they said they loved taylor swift's newest single 'mine'.
like thankyou thankyou lim simin and kelsy cause you're awesome just because you like taylor swift!

i realize i sound as if i'm taylor swift and that two people just praised the song i wrote?
whatever, go listen to the live performance of her latest, newest song - INNOCENT.
posted the meaningful lyrics yesterday so go listen!
really, it's beautiful.

中国朋友ftw!
translation: china friends ftw!
HAHAHAH, love love love my new bunch of best buds!

-A-

2010-09-14T17:26:00.001+08:00

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything?
And everybody believed in you?

It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent

It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent

taylor swift is the only person in the world wide world that can probably turn the worst humilation on stage in her life into a BEAUTIFUL song.

2010-09-09T23:24:00.002+08:00

what's on my mind now;

1. HOMEWORK.
2. i'm tired and i want to go to sleep but my mother is talking about how a 3year old kid at her preschool has an iphone and i have to finish number1 (upthere)
3. what time does ikea open? i want to go there for breakfast tomorrow.
4. shit. my meds are an hour overdue.
5. i miss you.

dance was ohkay.
we did some let's-pretend-to-have-sex-with-the-floor kind of exercise.
you just lie on floor, give a pained expression and move your fingers and grind your hips and i think you've succeeded.
oh, for the love of the hilarious things we do.
and everyone else thinks that our laoshi just screams at us '5,6,7,8!!!' and we'll split in the airs, twirl like some kind of mystical fairy bend barbie doll and i don't know, have fun?
but maybe i do.

irene is downright hilarious cause she looks as if i could just paste a black and white picture of some old person in front of her chest and she'll look as if she's leading a casket. the face she gives when she dances. gives the emo people a run for their money.

and laoshi talked to us about how the existence of fat dancers overwhelm her and we all shouldn't eat chicken because there are hormones in it and we'll grow huge boobs and yellow feathery wings and start to fly? idon'tknow. my inference sucks. (chicken don't even have boobs, what the hell was i thinking when i studied primarythree science)

i read my brother's psle science guide book when i feel stupid cause it makes me feel downright superior emperor-smart.

first class levers.
life cycle of a tomato plant.
magnets.

i would almost say i miss primary school science if only if chemistry wasn't this fun (now people are declaring i'm crazy. ohwell, i am)

'you should go for the career exhibition and PLANNN YOUR FUTURE!'
tyh.

my plan for my future:
go borrow money from loansharks that change address so they cannot come to your house and spray O$P$. and why do i need a money? cause to get a frickin' degree in medicine, tuition fees are a whoppin' 20K. 20 fricking thousand. even if i ate bread for the rest of my fifty years life, i don't think i save twenty thousand dollars. but then again, i'll probably never make it. 200spaces, and one is for me?
who are you kidding.

at most i'll join pharmacy and spend the rest of my life at guardian saying 'you want strawberry cough syrup?'

;
why aren't you here.
and i'm too scared to text you please don't ask me why.
but wait, do you even remember me?

-A-

2010-09-08T11:10:00.002+08:00

you should have known better when a new taylor swift music video comes out.
now, enjoy.

2010-09-08T10:39:00.002+08:00

Just because somebody flirts with you doesn't mean they like you. Just because somebody likes you doesn't mean they wanna go out with you. Just because they wanna go out with you doesn't mean they love. Just because somebody loves you doesn't mean they won't hurt you. Because people lie, things change, partners cheat and best friends ditch. And there are always going to be those people who would kill to see you fall.

sorry haters,
me MIA-ing for days does not mean i'm dead.
i extend my most sincere apologies if my existence stings your pretty face.

6days of wretching,
6days of who-can-eat-the-most-meds,
6days of bed-to-chair rest,
6days of soaring body temperatures,
6days of fainting spells.

welcome to the hell i endured for the past six days.

my daily diet's made up of small little colourful pills with names i cannot pronounce.
my daily exercise routine was to run to the toilet to wretch my guts out and back to the couch again.
my daily response to everyone else was 'yeah, sure, i'm ok. alive and breathing? you got me.'

and my nightly prayer before i went to sleep was,
'let me open my eyes tomorrow morning. i cannot die in my sleep yet. i owe rachel tang forty cents. i promised my laoshi to hand in my chinese mock paper. i haven't bought yy a birthday present in 3years. i can't die before seeing taylor swift.'

drama-mama? whatever.
for a person who is over-paranoid and matched her symptoms on some unreliable website (didn't take history, can't evaluate reliability, sorry) and it tells me that i have anthrax or HIV or some form of hepatitis. naturally, you'll get freaked out of your mind.

irene;
it's a talent to take unglam pictures. but it's a huge-r talent to be the model in the unglam picture. *grins*

gahh,i'm too sick to bitch.

-A-

2010-09-02T20:30:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRENE!!!
happy birthday stella!
happy birthday auntie!
happy birthday ai ting!
happy birthday you loser cow!
happy birthday principal of loser junior collage!
bottom line: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

okay, so don't attempt to murder me because this post is like 2days late and i think the photo above is unglam cause it was like what, 2years ago and all of us were like noob shits with long skirts and centre parting!
anyway, yay, you're 15! taylor swift now sings a song about you! (okay, i say that all the time -.-) oh, and two of us are officially older than yingyi!
and since it was your birthday 2days ago, i shall say nice nice things about you!

you're an awesome friend with a crazy passion for dance and the talent to fall asleep during lessons and yet you still get like five hundred As on your report card. you're like probably one of the most hilarious people in the world who type nonsense on msn and wrap your phone with a rubber band because it's spoilt. oh, and you dump your phone into the rubbish chute too. everytime we go out, you eat sushi. gohsenghenk says that you're prettier than me. and you're very violent! learn to be ladylike, irene!

ohgoshhh, i think i'm obsessed.
with soap.
right, i know i'm downright retarded.

my mom brought back like a few million teachers day gift (well, duh, she's a teacher) and there were like so many many many, nice stuff to smell.
i'm loving this orange and ginger scent cause it's keeps me perky and awake and i totally need this on days where i have like triple sciences and my science teachers can go join some who's-the-boringest-talent-contest that kind of thing. like seriously.
ohgosh, soap. soap. soap.
i think i'm going to ask those girls going uk to buy soap for meeee.

i think i am a bad influence.
thanks to my not so good older sister role model, my not so intelligent at english brother has picked up swear words!
and he's cussing here and there, at the supermarket, when my mom nags at him, anytime!
gosh, and i asked my vietnamese scholar friend to teach me how to say eff-you in vietnamese and me and px were just like chanting it throughout english.
learning how to swear in another language is awesome cause no one knows what the heck are you talking about and i remembered i learnt how to say 'you're stupid' in tamil and i spouted it at my math teacher and he was like 'HUH.WHAT.IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD THING?
oh, and i'm teaching my chinese scholar friends 'walau' and all the awesome singaporean stuff we come up with. that's so not helping her english grades and yes, i'm a horrible partner, she has to bear with my slow in the mind brain when it comes to trigo identities and lend my physics worksheets half the time cause i can't file for nuts. and i'm a bad influence, remember.
so how did my past table partners actually survived? they should have been admitted into mental hospitals or like get their asses shoved into jails cause i probably forced them into cocaine or something like that.

oh, and oh, and oh.
YAY YAY YAY.
TOMORROW'S THE LAST DAY OF TERM3.
WE HAVE 25DAYS TO THE START OF END YEARS (YES, WAKE-UP CALL FOR THOSE WHO WERE IN SLUMBERLAND. THE EVIL EXAMS ARE HERE FOR A VISIT AGAIN). AND GUESS WHAT, NO, YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO GUESS, I HAVEN'T STARTED STUDYING. GOSHHH. and i'm just a dumbass if i don't study/mug/chiong like a supercharged bullet train, i'll end up failing amath and emath and all the math related stuff in the world all over again.
gahhh, so idk whether the end of term3 is supposed to be a good thing or bad thing.
speaking of holiday homework? IT'S DEFINITELY BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD with a capital B.

remind me to blog about the best dance prac i've had in months next time.
I NEED TO LEARN MY 40 WORD CHINESE SPELLING AND DO CHINESE ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAY AND CHINESE MOCK PAPER.
the difficulty of the above tasks would have been slashed by a good three thousand percent if only the word chinese was taken out.

-A-

2010-08-29T21:33:00.003+08:00

yknow what, i give up on the i'm-so-high-and-holy-eradicate-world-poverty thing.
tonight, i'm just going to blog stuff just like how a 15year old would.

;
obviously i would be jealous.
i waited my whole darn life for someone like her and then you just come barging into everything and ruining everything i took months to build within seconds with a touch of your stupid stupid manicured fingers. like you're playing jenga, huh.
and don't you dare wriggle your finger at me and say that i'm a spoilt bitch cause i swear, of all the cedarians, i will the last few ever to be classified as a spoilt brat.
lastly, friends are not paperballs for you to toss into the wastepaper basket when you're sick of them and pick them up all over again when you think their value has risen.

after the next time i'm bringing my guitar to school,
i swear i'm never ever going to play my guitar for anyone ever, ever again.
cause guess what, i'm not good enough, i'm such a noob piece of shit, and no matter how much passion i have for music, it's never going to cover up the fact that i wasn't born to be a musician.
ever.
thereby, i should just forget my little little warped up fantasy of moonlighting as a guitarist when i grow up.
cause life doesn't have time for people like me.

for crappy days like these,
cosmetics and all things materialistic wrap me up in a delusional and rose-tinted bubble and send me to a world of pure bliss.
makes me wonder,
who needs friends when you have money.

hence, goal of my life:
earn a truckload full of hundred dollar bills.

i need my happy pill now.

-A-

2010-08-27T22:12:00.003+08:00

reblogged from laura.

funny thing,

in geography, we learn about how people in war-torn somalia have no access to clean water and how thousands die of malnutrition and starvation every day.

in science, we learn about how climate change, global warming, the depletion of the ozone layer will kill us eventually if we don't stop our irresponsible and self centered manners.

in history, we learn about how many innocent lives are at stake because of impending wars and presidents, prime ministers and cabinet members to set each other up against one another. nuclear weapons, bioterrorism, chemical warfare.

and yet, we indulge ourselves in the very essence of relationship problems that we deem as life-changing as compared to worldwide current affairs, the vicious cycle of poverty developing nations can't shake off, the threat of man abusing science to use it as a one-way ticket to world domination.

friends. good friends. bad friends. best friend. boyfriends. girlfriends.
mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers.

sometimes, i think that it's really silly, immature and shallow of us. and funny thing is, after i blogged a i-am-a-a-spoilt-bitch-who-wants-a-country-cd-badly, here am i pretending to be profound (that's pretty much what everyone will think right? splashing science terms and copy and paste stuff from newspaper all over my blog.) your definition of act-smart.

hence,
someone needs to remind me the next time i lament about how bad canteen food tastes, complain about some cedarian, scream from the rooftops that i hate my cca, make a face when my math teacher gives homework.

people are dying out there. people lose their limbs, their sight, their hearing. people are wheeled into morgues every second. people go to sleep hungry, tired and cold.

i need to learn how to count my blessings.

and yknow what,
I TRY.
i actually do.

i paste this big fat a3 size drawing block on my wardrobe so everytime i pick out a piece of clothing, i see the goddamned huge sign that says 'GO PRACTICE DANCE. NOW.' i watch so you think you can dance. i look at my primary school ballet costumes and think,
'i love dance. i love dance. you know you really do. you have this undescribable burning fiery red passion for dance. you want to be a dancer when you grow up'

do i really look as if i want to walk into the studio twice a week, watch my grossly shaped body in the mirror twisting, curving, moving, listen to the teacher scold, point out and humiliate.

i pysch myself into embracing dance.
i try.
i really, really do try.

-A-

2010-08-27T21:26:00.003+08:00

art for nerds.

(but goshhh, i don't know those compounds!)
(it makes me sad when i don't know something.)

wednesday:
1. dance was bearable. barely bearable. and that was like most probably because of the fact that i wanted to get stuff done and over with so i could play my guitar after dance. ohwell.
2. laoshi talked to the sec3s and told us that everytime she scold us... okay, wait. what's that chinese proverb. smacking is a way of showing affection and scolding is a way of showing love. direct translation. can go rack your brains for the chinese proverb.
3. yeah, and apparently i was the 'oh, you since sec1 until now like abit the no improvement one' kind of dancer. and laoshi was like 'don't give up, as long you have the passion for dance, you can do it, blah, blah, blah'
4. *sighs*

thursday:
5. sad life of a triple science kid who does trigo graph homework in sahara desert like conditions after school.

friday:
6. yay. i think i'm going to fail my chinese spelling.
7. went teachers day gift shopping with eugenia and youpay. but didn't get anything except for bubble tea.
8. AND I ATE FRIES. GOSHHH.
9. AND KFC CHICKENNNNN!!!

(if you have geog lessons with tyh, you will understand why i'm thoroughly grossed out that i ate fast food today cause she shows videos of crippled KFC chicken being stamped by farm workers and how if you leave your macs french fries for two months in a bell jar, it will not decompose. it's like plastic.)

;
sometimes i feel as if i'm not good enough to be called 'your friend'.

maybe i'm too stupid. maybe i'm not talented enough in sketching physics graph. maybe you'd prefer a friend who knows the atomic relative masses of 30elements at the back of her hand.

or maybe i'm not pretty. maybe you like someone like really deep-set eyes, delicate nose, soft lips, high cheekbones, nice brows, soft brunette hair. maybe you prefer friends who are a dress size smaller than me. maybe i'll make a better friend if i go through total face reconstruction. and liposuction. and botox. and lip fillers.

or maybe i'm not popular enough. maybe i should swtich bodies with socialites. or pray to angels in heaven that when i wake up overnight i will have three thousand friends on facebook, or that i'm blond and pretty paris hilton, or i'm some multi-talented yog athlete that everyone wants to take a picture with. maybe that will make you happy.

or maybe i'm a horrible dancer with substandard techniques and has flexbility that can only be plotted under the x-axis on a piece of graph paper. maybe i should go take up ballet, jazz, hip hop, latin, tango, ballroom. maybe you like someone who's cool and awesome and pull off crazy cheerleading stunts.

or maybe i'm the bitchiest person alive and you cannot stand me. maybe i should stop rolling my eyes. i will stop using profanities once and for all. maybe you can pour sulphuric acid on me whenever i start complaining how annoying other people are. maybe i'll just shut my trap up and adopt a kind and compassionate heart from some dead person who did a few gazillion good deeds before he died.

or maybe i'm just me,
and you think that being with me sucks.

on a lighter note,
I.FOUND.LIKE.THE.MOST.COMPREHENSIVE.EVER.SOLUBILITY.TABLE!!!!!
(okay, laura will be like 'NERD!!!!' at her iphone now.)
BUTTTTT,
it's 21 pages long and it covers rhubidium iodide to silver vandate to chromium oxide!
it practically covers every single thing known to mankind.
but then again, how am i supposed to memorise a 21page long solubility table?

(i still think i should print that crazy crazy bonkus solubility table out. at least my mom would think that i'm hardworking and i'm attempting like the most difficult chemistry feat ever to memorize the solubility of at least nine hundred elements/compounds and yeah.)

on a even lighter note,
AHHHH!!! I WANT TO THE BUY THE DIAMOND PACKAGE FOR TAYLOR SWIFT'S UPCOMING ALBUM, SPEAK NOW.
it contains the speak now cd, a speak now bracelet with lyrics of 'mine' engraved on it, a special note from taylor swift, and a limited edition, signed and frame litography from the one and only, taylor swift!!!!!
IT'S THE MOST PERFECT THING IN THE WORLD EVERRR.
except for the fact that it 99 US dollars.

on a hydrogen-light note,
I LOVE LOVE LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!
I WANT TO FLY TO AMERICA RIGHT NOW AND SIT IN WAL-MART STARING AT THE TELEVISION SCREEN AT THE ELECTRONIC SECTION AND WATCH THE CMA AWARDS WHERE TAYLOR SWIFT REVEALS HER LATEST MUSIC VIDEO MINE. and apparently, i wouldn't be able to watch it in singapore thanks TO THE FRICKIN' GREENWICH MEANTIME (geography, guys!). america is 15hours behind time compared to my lovely motherland. that means even though is 27th august now, the day of the premeire, i can only watch it after 10am tomorrow.
FML.

i suddenly don't feel like going for the YOG barbeque tomorrow.
i don't know why.
must be some nerd syndrome bubbling inside me cause i have this strong urge to study math since endyears are coming and despite being labelled as a nerd, i have not started mugging.
and plus i can save 8bucks by not going. and gain 7hours of study time in return.
(should i back out)

-A-

2010-08-24T17:29:00.004+08:00

let's see, so i'm an escapism-er?

yingyi;
obviously you don't see me loner-ing cause i kind of need to be alone to be loner. wait, does that even make sense? no. it doesn't.

but i'm a loner! i talk to inanimate objects. classic example my trigo notes. 'okayyy, so you move the cosine graph up by 1 then what happens to the bloody amplitude... uh-huh, then the maximum point will be...' and the px will be like 'SHUT UP. STOP TALKING TO YOUR NOTES'.

okay, so talking to non-living stuff doesn't make you a loner. it makes you a retard. it makes you insane. it makes you eligible to join the asylum.

but i'm loner-able. like i know some people that like feed on friends on facebook and their social connections and being a social butterfly is vital. like how breathing is vital.

so i won't exactly die without friends like the whole world can just decide to protest and declare war on me and everyone starts to dao me and miss chin doesn't want to answer my linear law questions (it's okay! i have ace-learning! hah.) and yy suddenly decides that i'm a big fat bitch and talking to me was like the worst decision made ever. terrible life, yes, but i'll just shut myself in my bubble and sing taylor swift songs. i won't desperate, i won't beg my friends, i never do that. i'm THAT stubborn, i don't apologise unless i really, really, really treasure the person.

but on the other hand, i cannot imagine living a life without laura! HAHA. like i think i totally died cause there was like 9days i had to go like laura-less. and i was sad): cause i think laura's like my happy pill. she makes me happy. and the littlest things that she do that makes me happy for like 3days straight in the row.

yay.

okay, so let's do this right. i shall blog about what normal people blog about.

uhhh, so today was a better than average day? laoshi and tyh was in an awesome mood so yay? maths was fun cause i think i understood what was happening. recess was fun with laura *winks* after school was AWESOME with rachel, laura and joycelyn. like we just sat there and laughed over nothing. i braided laura's hair. joycelyn's painted laura's nails with colored markers. ohlord, all the things that we do.

then cabbed with joycelyn and krystal to united square. like i don't know for what reason. i thought novena was like nearer to my house cause i don't know, now thinking about it, there was no rationale behind it. but in the end, after blasting krystal's money on made in candy, i decided to walk home to save money. EPIC FAIL. i walked out of the mall and into the sun and chased the bus57 cause the sun was like GODDDD, what does global warming do to the sun? make it like 28383494042 times bigger? if not then why is it so hotttttt? so i took the bus home in the end.

now, random things off my mind. i don't know. i feel random now. i think sweets make me cuckoo. and i finished half of my made in candy before i typed this. so yeah.

1. i'm praying that i get fullmarks for my chinese spelling even though i studied half an hour before it.
2. i'm praying that tyh won't storm into the class saying 'ELGENIA WONG TIEN MIN, WHY YOU NEVER HAND IN YOUR TUTORIAL ESSAY!!!!!' cause i really didn't and i don't know where did it go already.
3. same with chinese. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IS MY HOMEWORK. like hello, mr. homework, did you grow wings and decide to become like a chicken or something. NO, PLEASE DON'T. or are you like some 7th month ghost in disugise? again, NOOO. please stay as my homework. your help is greatly appreciated.
4. where is my mom. i just realized the house is deserted? did she grow wings and fly away too? i'm pretty sure she's not a ghost cause ghosts don't buy me green tea when i whine over the phone for it.
5. i want to sleep cause i'm so tired. oh no, wait. my mom had this hilarious conversation with vanessa cause i didn't save vanessa's number (sorry, sorry, sorry!) and then my mom thought that she was her boss or something like that-.- maybe that's where i inherited my blondness from. genetics, naturally. oh, my mom's back! i think she went to burn the paper. it's the special kinds with silver squares in the middle or the fake money which i stole from the packet when i was young and attempted to use it to pay for food, i think? yeah, stupid kid.

they're building the downtown line outside my house and it's frickin' noisy and polluted and dusty. but they're building like a new train station and my house will be now the station where the annoying voice over the PA system will say: 'next station, little india, passengers can alight and change to the north east line'. HAHA,so cool. instead of being a purple dot on the train map, it's now a white circle! yay! upgrade!

(fyi, chinese can stay in little india too if you're wondering)

seafood are food that grow in the sea.
thus chicken is groundfood.
okay, it doesn't sound as funny as compared to when joycelyn, rachel, laura and me were making fun of food.
):

if you buy me a keyboard/piano,
i will cry for you to see.

-A-

2010-08-23T20:51:00.003+08:00

i forgot what i wanted to blog about.
i had planned it all in my head on the train already but apparently my stupid, stupid brain forgot everything.

oh, i know i wanted to say that the walk from the mrt to school is very long.
i sang three taylor swift songs the whole way through and i think the residents thought that i was a mad woman cause i went to school at 9am and it was deserted?
okay, so the point is:
i walk alot everyday.
and i should sing taylor swit songs to keep me happy.

i think i should change my name from miss rubidium to like miss argon or krypton or some stupid, stupid noble loner gas.
being a loner is fun, seriously.

the things i did that made me happy today-
1. singing mine, love story and should've said no on the way to school! like i was just singing - no, cross that out, i was contributing to noise pollution but whatever - and the people were staring at this crazy, crazy cedarian.
2. doing trigo graphs! i think i'm falling in love with trigo. it's such a beautiful subject. okay, i'm officially crazy. what happened to the rebellious kid who didn't do her linear law homework? now she changed into a trigo-loving nerd who just labelled math as something beautiful. oh, save me. (but trigo graphs are still fun)
3. eating carrots during dinner today! i think i'm going to turn into an annoying orange sooner or later cause i ate like 2938748292 baby carrots during YOG and it was a product of the 3I kias just dumping all their veggies to me and i turned into a rabbit-.- but i likes carrots anyway.
4. blogging makes me happy.
5. oh! and i watched the super drama taiwanese show. LOVE! HAHA, that's the name of it. i(L)the show.

i think i should really turn into a loner and make my textbooks my only friends cause i'm sorry, i'm really sick and tired of trying to like people but failing cause i'm such a bitch anyway, sick and tired of seeing my friends change/transform/and i-forgot-what's-that-name-of-the-process-of-a-eeky-caterpillar-changing-into-butterfly thing, too lazy to wiki it. but yes, you get it. i'm sick and tired of being a lousy friend, those who are stuck with me half the time. i wished i could do more but i'm sorry.

and non-living things like guitars and youtube and chemistry textbooks make awesome friends cause they don't backstab you, they don't go through metamorphosis (yess,that's the word!) and transform from a ordinary looking kid into a pink power ranger overnight. they stay by your bedside in the middle of night when you have nightmares, they won't add fuel to your troubles when you had a bad day of school, they would reject you and say 'sorry, my boyfriend's more important' when you're crying. and they don't disagree to whatever you say.

okay yeah whatever. i'm not thinking straight today so you can ignore whatever i typed there cause the wires in my mind are not exactly connected properly today. like hello, i'm studying cosine graphs on the ace-learning website. that's like, oh god, nerdy?

i want to be pretty.
like taylor swift pretty, angelina jolie classy, megan fox sexy and flawlessly gorgeous. like i can turn up in school everyday like how blake lively would turn up on the red carpet.

i want to be smart.
like i want to win three nobel prizes in my entire lifetime and get some super uber cool prize cause no one has ever done that in their life. i want to be on forbes' top40 highest earning billionares and i want to donate money to haiti earthquakes not because i'm kind and compassionate but it lands your name on new york times.

i want to be cool, awesome, popular, famous and lovable. (all the good things rolled in together)

i want to have a best friend.

but sometimes, stuff just don't go your way, do they?

oh and yes, i realized i need to clear up some stuff.
is there such a word as a doublescience-wannabe or something like that? if there isn't, like let me invent that term.
i'm not trying to act cool, act popular, act pretty, act smart, act florence nightingale kind and compassionate and loving, act nice, act idk. i can't act for one thing that's why i'm in dance and not drama.
so yes, i'm not a bitch who walks into 3I, shakes hands with everybody else like hello, i'm barrack obama, attention here like puh-lease.
like no, no, no, and lastly, no.
for everyone's kind and considerate attention, i'm not exactly integrating into my new sec3 class even though like it's going to be september and blah blah blah, oac is supposed to foster strong covalent-like bonds with you and your classmates. that's not happening.
remember what happened between me and non-living stuff?
this happens when your class is like ultimate muggers, smartasses who don't need to study for the heck of their lives, quiet, guai kia people who think that handing homework in late is like the sin of the century. (okay, i'm exaggerating, but the message is through and through everyone's brain right)
YES, SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPEN. I HAVE LIKE WHAT NO FRIENDS IN MY CLASS? NOW, I SOUND LIKE A STUPID WHINY PRIMARY SCHOOL BITCH. 'MUMMEEEE, I HAVE NO FRIENDS'.
okay whatever, enough said, if some people still think that way, fine by me then.

(ohwait, rewind. i define friends as true friends. not friends that i only talk to because i don't know how to do my math homework, friends i talk to during recess cause i'm bored out of my mind and if i don't interact with people, i'm probably die that minute cause i'm like an insane kid with hyperactive mouth muscles, i'm sorry, sorry, sorry. so no offence if any of my classmates read this, i don't hate you.)

'i don't fit in' doesn't even cover it.
frickin' understatement.

cry myself to sleep tonight!
cause i don't know why. i fall aslseep faster that way. and i won't wake up in the middle of the night at 3am half-crying the wits out of myself because i've had a bad, bad nightmare and i don't dare to tell anyone cause i'm like fifteen! taylor swift sings a song about me and i shouldn't such a kid and tell my mom i've had a bad dream. or that i can't breathe halfway while sleeping and wake up wheezing for twenty minutes non-stop.

thankyou. end of speech.
-A-

2010-08-22T10:24:00.002+08:00

this is the reason why they invented the guitar.
it's not just perfect, this is flawless.

2010-08-21T22:08:00.002+08:00

YY! THIS IS FOR YOU(: SO CUTE RIGHT?

yay! today is a happy day!
(except for the fact that i didn't do any homework or study at all so tmr is major chionging day)
went out with yy, jynnlin and suyu to FLEA(:
it was an eye-opening experience cause i found out that jynnlin's like a MAJOR BUDGET SHOPPER! like who buys rompers at 4bucks and flats at 3bucks and shirts for her sister at 2bucks? EVERYTHING'S UNDER 5DOLLARS. i should totally learn from her.
and suyu's a major 'aiyah, got discount or not'. the way she haggles with the shopowner is majorly cute until the shopower cannot tahan her just give her the price that she wants.
and yy. she's the 'should i buy, or not. SHOULD I BUY? maybe won't look nice on me...'.
anyways, it was a fun day(: bought new shoes!

LAURA MY LOVE, THIS FOR YOU(:
ilove being retarded and dumb and your channel for entertainment half the time on our totally-don't-make-sense msn messages. at least i'm satisfying and pleasurable too! HAHAHAHA, that sounds totally wrong. but yay! i can't wait to sit next to you during geog lecture on monday, heck the teachers who think we're gay.
stay strong, darling(:
{love the things you do}

i stood outside a store for 4whole minutes just because it was playing 'you belong with me'.
-.-

gahhh, you know what i hate?
people who pinch their fats and proclaim that they're oprah-winfrey-fat and that they should go on a water and vegetable diet and should stop breathing cause they don't know if oxygen contains calories or not.
(this is not directed at my beloved yy and krystal, two of you have like world's worst attempted diets and YET still can stay so skinny!)

'I AM ON A DIET!'
ten minutes later with a big plate of food...
'i thought you were on diet?'
'HECK CARE.'
ohgodddd, krystal, you're the best.

ohhhh, i have YOG tmr(:
which translates into being able to see HOT HOT HOT ATHLETES.

'EHHHH, NURIN! THAT ONE THERE, VERY HOT RIGHT?'
'where? where? that blond guy?'
'NOOOO. THE GURLLL.'

HAHAHAHA,apparently, i have an obession with hot blond athletes (actually any hair will do) with mesmerizing deepset eyes who smile at pathetic basket party people like me and YY. and the russians ARE ONE HUNDRED PERCENT G TO THE O TO THE R-G-E-O-U-S.

I.AM.IN.A.DILEMMA.
should i save up 300bucks and blast it on a 16GB itouch
OR
splurge on a keyboard since my mom thinks that i have no talent should not waste her salary on my pathetic games.
(i have no idea, seriously)

OHAND... one more reason to be happy today!
i think my auntie's a horrible liar. i think she forgot my birthday and bought this like SUPER DUPER belated birthday cake for me. today's the 21st august. it's like 3weeks late. but whatever, it's the thought that counts(: but she didn't want to admit that she forgot my birthday, and so she said 'OHH, THIS IS TO CELEBRATE YOUR HARD WORK YOU PUT INTO YOG'. so sweet can. and she's so blur. she ordered the wrong ice-cream cake. apparently, my bro told her that i liked high school musical but somehow i ended up with race cars on my cake-.-
&my sister in law bought me chocolate crossiants! YAY!

ohgodddd,
as i'm typing this, i keep scrolling up to the very top to that DAMN CUTE JAR OF NUTELLA.
walau, so cute! yy! be happy i'm giving it to you(:
maybe i can like attempt to sew that for your birthday.
!!!!
but i failed my sewing in sec1-.- 4outof10. EPIC FAILURE.

I.FAILED.MY.CHINESE.TEST.UNSURPRISINGLY.

6DAYS TO THE PREMIERE OF TAYLOR'S SWIFT LATEST MUSIC VIDEO ON MTV. ARGH!!!! TIME, FLY FASTER PLEASE! did you watch the sneak peak i posted. WALAU. DAMN COOL(:

today is a damn happy post!
-A-

2010-08-20T18:15:00.006+08:00

OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME!!!
IT'S TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!!!

(love the way she screamed at the boy, even when she's angry, she looks one hundred percent gorgeous)
*spazzzzzz*

-A-

2010-08-18T21:49:00.003+08:00

chronicles of algae (my sad sad boring life)

1. I FAILED MY MATH PROFICIENCY TEST))): okay, so much for thinking that my math grades have taken for a better turn.
2. YAY YAY YAY! DIDN'T GO FOR DANCE TODAY(: and instead i spent the whole time at ngee ann poly with krystal ogling at the cute cute ferrari girl. so funnn with a capital f. OH! AND I WON THE LUCKY DRAW. HAHA,sounds so auntie. but it beats sticking around in school and watched your ego being beaten by your dance teacher.
3. I SNUCK INTO THE SCHOALR'S HOSTEL LAST SUNDAY(((: awesome or awesome. betcha didn't know they had a swimming pool(woah).
4. LOVE LOVE LOVE KRYSTAL! i'm like her dump for second-hand stuff(:
5. TMR GOT YOG. SO SAD LIFE BUT WHATEVER CAN SEE KRYSTAL/YY/DENISE/YX!!! and like tons and tons of people.

i hate people who judge other people based on their looks.
like okay, FINE, I KNOW, EVERYBODY JUDGES EVERYBODY ELSE LIKE CHOOSING A BOOK BY LOOKING AT THE BOOK COVER ONLY. YEAH FIRST IMPRESSION WHATEVER DUDE.
but this is like equating a pretty face to a PERFFFECT PERSON.
like okay, she has nice eyes, a straight nose, and perfect curvy lips. THUS SHE'S A GOOD PERSON, SHE HAS A PERFECTLY GOOD HEART, SHE WILL BE THE BEST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE, SHE TELLS THE WORLD'S MOST WONDERFUL JOKES.
hello, wake up.

(krystal, you're definitely prettier. LIKE I REASSURE YOU 392395483TIMES. okay, so maybe taylor swift is prettier than you. BUT YOU'RE STILL VERY PRETTY)

okay,
sometimes i'm really sick and tired of all this shit.
like the only way i can prove myself is through not so wonderful grades.
and people still think it's not enough.
SO WHAT DO YOU EXACTLY WANT? my organs? sure, rip my skin, tear me apart, take a tablespoon to scoop my corneas out, wear latex gloves to dig my heart about from in between the ribs. want a partially functioning liver (hopefully not spoilt by liver cirrhosis)? GRAB IT. TAKE IT. FOR FREE. want a leg? want a toe? want hair for your next month's hair extensions.
FINE BY ME.
cause that's all i can offer?
want anything else? i'm sorry, go find someone else.

OCD.
aka obessive compulsion disorder.

in grey's anatomy, they said everyone has a form of obessive compulsive disorder. it's just whether you show it to the world or not, whether you lay it on your skin for everyone else to look/view/judge you or you choose to hide it, fix a fence to separate you from the world.

laura said i'm a very different person when i blog.
i don't know why either.
maybe me and the rest of the world don't see stuff using the same eyballs. like we're never on the same page.
and maybe i'm just like living in my own delusional bubble thinking that people acctually care but no, everyone else is just self-centered and thinks i'm not sane, alright.

but whatever,
jane morgan never cared about what people said.
she was smart, she was nerdy, she wasn't the richest in her LA school.
but she made it out in the end.
she climbed the ranks, she bashed those complacent guys up, she showed the whole world what she was made of.
that's who i want to be.
i want to prove it to the whole entire frickin world that in the end, i'm not just an empty bimbo eggshell.

I.WANT.TO.QUIT.DANCE.
would have if i didn't need those stupid CCA points.
like if i were slightly smarter to take 3rd language.

-A-

2010-08-17T22:09:00.003+08:00

ALGAE.DO.NOT.GROW.ON.ROCKS. (that's moss, my middle name)
ALGAE.DO.NOT.KILL.FISHES. (okay,maybe they do but i like to think that they don't)
ALGAE.IS.AWESOME. (not me, my distant green pond scum cousins are the one-way ticket to solve the world's ballooning demands for cleaner fuel. YAY! and we are your keys to shut the doors of climate change, carbon dioxide suckers ftw)

(and YAY! i have a wikipedia page about myself)

"how do you pronounce t-u-m-b-l-r?"
"TOMB-BLUR."

HAHAHAHAHA.EPIC.
so you pronounce 'dumb' as DOOM-B.
and you pronounce 'bum' as BOOM.
okay, now, i'm being retarded.

spent the whole afternoon in 3I with yy, margie and wanxin and their english debate and my failed attempt to finish my chinese homework.
blond margie, yy and her obbession with hippopotamus and zebras and cats and dogs, me and yy spazzing over our childhood memories about non-living objects, margie thinking that she's the only sane one, wanxin and crystal turning 3I into a zoo, nurin the i-don't-care-prefect that ignored me and yy's picnic and GLEE-ING!
bottom line: fun.

sometimes, i feel as if i fit in with the 3I people better than my own classmates.

GODDD, today's english debate was freaking scary,
i think yy's paranoid-ness is like diffusing into me or something like that.
OR ELSE WHY AM I SO SCARED. IT'S JUST A DEBATE. GO UP THERE AND TALK RUBBISH, ATTEMPT TO IMPRESS A CLASS OF NERDS AND PRAY THAT YOU GET AN A. DON'T CARE ABOUT THE BEST-SPEAKER AWARDS OR THAT YOUR OPPONENTS ARE LIKE 4SMART-ASSES.
i was shivering - no, cancel that, SHAKING. as if there was an earthquake triggered inside me or like i got parkinson's disease or i was attempting to make bubble tea or i was standing on the artic circle in a bikini.
but thankgod, i didn't screw up as much as i thought i would.

I NEED A PROPER 8HOURS OF SLEEP.
like seriously.

firstly, it was late-night rubbish i did on the worldwideweb.
then came the insonmia that kept me up till the wee hours of the morning
and now it's haunting, recurring nightmares.

what i dream of:
all i see a youtube browser and a video's playing. images and clips of people falling, people dying, buildings collapsing, blood alot of blood, ruptured intestines, alot of crying and groaning and moaning. everything's moving at the speed of light. it's seems so surreal yet so realistic. and i kept clicking on the pause button but it never stopped.
it just got faster, and faster, and faster.
AND POP, YOU WAKE UP. and cannot go bed again cause you're freaked the hell out of your own mind and you're so paranoid (again, yy's masterpiece of diffusion) that you'll fall asleep and never wake up again.

but i don't want to die yet.
i haven't completed the things i want to do with my pathetic, wasted life.
i haven't gone to america. (things to do before i die: SHOP AT WAL-MART/MACYS)
i haven't met taylor swift in the flesh.
i haven't visited nashville, the heart of country music.
i haven't loved someone through and through yet.
I HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY A1 FOR CHEM,BIO AND PHYSICS IN OLEVELS. (i've been studying, dreaming of this day. working so hard, reading stupid thick, thick textbooks and you're denying me of this chance to hold my certificate?! NO MAAAAAN)
so, no, i can't die yet.

to end everything on a happy and un-emo-culture-i-think-i'm-going-to-die-mood,
TAYLOR SWIFT'S LATEST MUSIC VIDEO IS COMING OUT IN 8DAYS.
*SCREAMS*
yay, yay, yay, yay.
okay, so maybe that only makes me happy.

yy;
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.too bad! i'm not going to remove your epic english rebuttal paragraph(((((:

krystal;
READ THIS!
okay, so i know it's going to take me a gazillion years to attempt to do a card as nice as yours (the reason why i'm not in art) and to lift my hand to write a proper reply to your chio chio chio birthday card, so i figured i'll be better off typing a thankyou letter for you.

{thank you for everything you've done for me despite all the shit we've been through. i really miss the times we were so close together where we just wander around singapore (especially boonkeng) , looking for something to do, failure study dates after chionging to the library in a taxi but ended up eating and eating and sharing deepest, darkest secrets and our insecurites over late-night msn messages. thankyou for giving me all your stuff; like the clinique bag with miraculously poof-ed away and the handphone! if you hadn't given it to me and i hadn't lost it, you would be stuck with a better phone. thankyou for accepting and attempting to live with my annoying ways like me persuading you to let me kiss you after yx bashed your face up during cheer. you're worth the fight, worth everything i may have to go though to keep you as a friend and lastly, thankyou for being my friend too even though we're both screwed up and flawed in our very own ways}

i realize that you'll never see me or krystal talking to each other like that or even saying ILY to each other. we give each other violent hugs and pretend to be really freaked out when we see each other and to me, that's all i really need.
it's like the littlest things like these that makes me happy.
ILY, KRYSTAL(:

role model of the day: krystal lim.
she doesn't give up. she has the tenacity worth looking up to. she maintains the strongest front even though she's breaking inside.
AND SHE'S GOOD IN MATH WITHOUT HAVING TO STUDY-.-

i(L)ssgeog lectures,
the only time when i can hang out with two best contact-lenses wearing friends(((:
laura lim and foong yy.
(:

oh and did i ever mention.
TYH IS SUPER CUTE.
both of us are scared of butterflies, like WHEEEEE.
goshhh, she's really very cute and i'm not mentally retarded okayyyy.
happy i got her as a geog teacher(:
shit, but i haven't done my geog tutorial question homework yet.

lovelovelove,
-A-

2010-08-15T14:00:00.005+08:00

of all the kind of guys i hate,
number one is the chauvinistic and the act-cool-buay-cool.

and even if you're the hottest person in the whole wide world and all red-blooded women swoon at the sight of you, i'm so sorry.
'fuckyou'
same old, same old.

(i think i prefer the vulgar me over the happy-see-the-world-in-rose-tinted-glasses me)

miss hypocritical;
you wouldn't even know that this is about you.

you broke the pact, you joined the cult.
you became the very essence of the kind of people i hated.
thankyou very much for ruining everything with your fucking bullshit.

you know maybe it's the end of YOG that's driving me so crazed and insane,
cause there will be no more fun practices with the fun people.
now it's back to the bitch nagging at us with our 'fucking bad techniques' and 'we're fucking senior dancers already so we should oh-so-perfect, oh-so-marvellously-flexible and we must set a brilliant example for all to follow'

i'd rather quit syf to join urban drum crew than to sit through 6 torturous hours of dance every week.
(the only reason i'm holding back is because of olevels, the ultimatum)

cause even when we were under pressure during yog, two weeks for 4people with zero musical background to learn and memorize 3pages worth of drumming scores and to perform in front of the 27thousand-strong crowd,
no one bossed us around.
no one gave up on us (and we were incredibly slow at learning)
no one made us feel as if we're so fucking horrible that we should just go jump off the cliff and bade goodbye to the world because we couldn't do any fucking thing right.

we just practiced, practiced and practiced.
staring at crumpled score sheets, air-drumming with rain and wind against our faces and everything else.
thankyou udc.

(not that they will ever read this but this is for people to know that drumming and cymbal-clapping beats cedar dance a gazillion times anytime, anyday)

thankyou ian and yongqiang for believing in us even though we thought we could never make it.
thankyou yongqiang for doing your best to make sure that your horrible drumming students learnt the correct things using the wackiest things in the universe to make lessons less of a chore.
thankyou glorian for coaching me and eleanor even though i think you felt like vommitting blood cause our standard- no wait! there's no standard at all. yeah, thankyou.
thankyou everyone in chinese drumming (for those that i don't like and those who don't like me) for making chinese drumming such a memorable expereience even though i thought i'd never be clad in such ancient cheena costume drumming a chinese drum 5storeys above ground.
thankyou;

and what do you see in dance-
given a whole dictionary full of profanities in sixty languages, i don't even think it'll be enough.
at least people like yy have a passion for dance but me,
i think i have a stronger passion for trigo than dance.

to me,
once a teacher stops believing in a student,
i don't think that by any chance, he or she should call himself or herself a teacher.

and if we give up on a friend,
it's the end.
the last thread's broken.
the last shimmer of hope is lost.

but sometimes it's not that easy to give up,
even though it hurts like fucking hell half the time.

;
you say that you're a terrible friend, but i think i'm worse.

i'm a wreck.
a bitch at the point of no return,
an addict who can no longer turn back.
i'm so fucked up and i'm so sorry you're stuck with me.

welcome back,
emo culture.
i've missed you.

(just a note. i'm against cedar dance, not dancers. some of my juniors are like the world's most hilarious comedians, the world's best innocent-turn-sluts and the most awesome people i've ever met.)

-A-

2010-08-13T20:25:00.004+08:00

THE BIG DAY...
we've been training for this since march,
all the crazy trainings at some ulu pandan camp, complaining about food, slacking half the time, groaning when the instructors say 'one more time', making fun of the NS men and the ACS I guys, playing captains ball, singing on the bus and just being retarded half the time.
i wouldn't say i'm in love in with YOG but i'm surely going to miss the ponning school and dance(especially!) part when 14th august comes to a end.

okay, so if you had no idea what i was talking about-
the dancers are performing in the YOG opening ceremony tomorrow and you can catch us on the live telecast that starts at 8pm.
we're performing in the item called origins(if you wanted to know) and the welcome ceremony(celine,yy,me and eleanor!)

(and now, i sound like the voice-over on tv. 'catch barbie as the princess and the pauper every saturday at 9am, only on channel something')

'just do it'
the education system here has taken nike's famous tagline for a slight little twist.
'don't care if you like it or not, just do it'

we just had our english timed assignment on writing rebuttal paragraphs.
and we had to write that we agree that mother tongue should be made a compulsary subject, that we agree that children completes a marriage and that we agree that the emo culture is harmful for present day teenagers.
and of which NONE of them do i fucking agree with.

i'm pretty sure that ninety percent of us with functioning brains would forgo taking mother tonuge. seriously. i wrote in my timed assignment that developing nations such as china and india were rising and by taking mother tongue, it would be a boost for the economy and blah blah blah.
but hello, do we look as if we care?

children complete a marriage - that just sounds wrong to me.
i'm anti-people-below-six-who-wail-whine-scream-and-look-ugh-to-me.
give birth to a kid? i'd rather take drugs.

and emo culture,
the very thing that sends all of us spinning into whirpools of depression as we begin cutting oursevles with razors and penknives alike.
what more can i say.

and now, i sound like a totally socially irresponsible teenager.
ohfuckinghell,whatever.

something happy to wedge in between all the misgivings-

THANKYOU KRYSTAL! LOVE BOTH YOU AND MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT LOADS! *MUACKS* HAHAH, you're cringing away from your computer screen now. totally predicted.
thankyou cherie for the present today. literally and figuratively, it was really sweet of you.

yingyi;
'raping is caused by men who yearn for sexual contact.' your famous last words(:
goodluck for tomorrow and stop being paranoid, you noble gas!
HAHA,miss helium.

laura;
i realized you and yingyi are the most mentioned names on my blog, like far more times than taylor swift? be honored, darling.
HAHA,miss platinum.

i'm an alkali metal(:
rubidium sounds cool.

-A-

2010-08-10T23:39:00.002+08:00

"However, this tendentious mindset about the Sciences and the Humanites has to change."

i can't stand this.
i'm like writing a fucking paragraph on why the studies of humanities is more important than sciences when i'm like a strong believer of newton's third law and etc.
no offence to people who are in love with humanities, but science is the root of living. no one turns to literature or hitler when their daughter is dying of lung cancer.

(but then again, i'm not saying that triple science kids are evidently more intellectual, i'm just saying that sciences are just more important. you can study history and still be the world's smartest person.)

my mom's a humanities freak (she failed her sciences and her math, whaddya expect) so when i told that i totally hated my english debate paragraph.

and she said,
'oh so you're all for the cloning and using nuclear explosives to bomb the whole world right?'
and i said,
'cloning can save lives. nuclear energy supplies 14percent of the world's energy. what's wrong?'
'then let me ask you, money or love?'
'money. cash and credit cards and stock dividends are the roots of life. who needs love? you don't eat love, breathe love, use love to pay for your grocery bills or your taxes or your hospital bills after a crazy attempt of chasing the love of your life.'
'why are you so like that?'
'materialistic? realistic? cause i'm cool like that.'

i think my mom's angry with me now.
but whatever, i'm a money-lover.

argh, there's goddamned stupid school tomorrow.
only perk: i'm skipping half of school and i get to see my laura. yay.
dang, there's chinese test.
pfftttt.

goodnight world.

-A-

2010-08-10T18:03:00.009+08:00

oh for the love of the stupid things we used to do,

okay, this is so going to be a mindless rambling post because i used all my braincells on something non-homework-related and i absolutely have no mood to swtich off the internet and focus on my chinese paper.

so i'm going to list down the reasons that MAKE me a nerd and those that DON'T MAKE me one-

1. wikiepedia's my holy grail website. it's like i CANNOT survive without it. like to hell with the wikipedia is not accurate shit, it's my baby. it's my perfect solution when my chemistry teachers talk alien during classes, when i have a burning retarded question like who invented contacts and where i fast-forward the whole of glee season1 by reading everything on wikiepdia.com/glee
2. i am insane about med stuff. like i'll look up at laura's face and tell her that she has extensive capillary network that is visible on her face and when i go home i research on it and tell over msn that she has couperose. (which is probably why she kept on calling me NERD over msn and thus this post)
3. i read science shit. introduction to killer diseases, 101 common aliments you should know about, desert vegetation and dinosaurs.
4. part of my youtube viewing history includes stuff like 'alkali metals reaction with water' , 'francium-the most explosive metal in the world?' , 'the mole song' and 'how are waterfalls formed'.
5. i have fugly black glasses.

on the other hand,
1. (okay, this is going to be so random but i bet no one knows how the word 'nerd' came about like i don't think people back in the 17th century uses the word nerd but yeah, the word nerd was actually spelt as knurd, which if you are smart enough would realize it's the opposite of drunk and it was supposedly used to refer to people who studied instead of partied. and i got this from wiki. dang, more nerd points) but that whole bracket-bracket thing has relation to why i'm nerd, imma in lurve el-co-hall. so i fall into the 'drunk' category and not 'knurd'.
2. i'm insanely blond. i break my guitar strings when i talk to people on msn and has to spend 3hours to fix with with one-third of time crawling on floor trying to find the pin that fell off from the guitar.
3. i suck at math. classic example: fell asleep while reading the amath textbook during lunch. (okay, so maybe i'm a nerd cause i read the amath textbook?)
4. i read seventeen instead of nat geo these days! *proud grin*
5. i'm not smart.

conclusion: i'm a half-nerd.
and i totally don't see the rationale of typing the last few hundreds of words cause all i did was just to waste my time.

i'm a bad name-r.
i'm that kind of people who spends thirty minutes on an english composition homework only to come up with a name like jane and tiffany.
bottom line: i think if i ever adopt kids next time, i'll probably pick a number and refer to the periodic table and take the name of the element with the corresponding atomic number.

'what name do you want to be placed on the birth certificate?'
'give me a number.'
'what?'
'just call any number, from 1 to 103.'
'okay...12?'
*refers*
'name her as magnesium.'

pray tell, the poor kid doesn't get a name like hydrogen or oxygen or nitrogen or chlorine or iodine or potassium.
can you imagine?
'register number four, aluminium tan.'
okay, that was so retarded.

but there are some chem names that are nice.
like astatine, germanium and selenium.
i think they can pass of some extoic greek name which no other parent would know unless they're a chemist.

i totally love this blog post maannn. i just totally crapped about the world's two most retarded topic that can ever be blogged about. ohgod, sometimes i just love myself.
oh and i wasn't trying to like hey-i'm-the-world's-funniest-person-come-laugh-at-my-blond-jokes, i was just trying to ugh, *rolls eyes*. nobody forced you to read this if you think it's highly irritating.

'go.... jiggypuff!'
i miss being a kid, watching pokemon at 1030am every saturday religiously and throwing a stress ball at the televesion everytime that i-never-grow-up ash person chooses his pokemon against his opponent which miraculously, i have never seen him lost a match.
remember?

and there you go! another random jabber.

-A-

2010-08-09T23:15:00.003+08:00

when will the day come when i'll finally stop swooning and sighing over her,

okay, so i guess, i could start with a happy national day and all the patriotic i-hope-singapore-can-soar-to-achieve-greater-heights stuff.
and i'm done with that.

1. i'm wearing contacts now(((: i don't know but it just makes me very happy that i can finally see the world without having to put on fugly black specs and pushing the nose bridge thingy with my middle finger half the time. it's like seeing everything in a new light! and i wiki-ed this, leonardo da vinci inspired today's contact lenses. betcha didn't know that.

2. did i ever mention this before but my brother has like extra time for his PSLE. and that's like majorly unfair. he thinks it's fair cause he has his stupid doctor's certificate to prove that he has learning difficulties AKA a kinder way of saying that he's retarded. but whatever, i'm just crossing my fingers he won't get a psle score higher than me. i like being smart.

3. MY GUITAR STRING BROKE. i totally cannot believe i didn't say this at the start. broken string = no guitar = crestfallen algae. ohgoddddd.

4. i currently hate my older bro and sis to the very core, magma, lava of the earth. like i always say, promise is HUGE word and i hate it when people misuse it. if you can't live it up to your promise of being there for your little sister, then don't tell her cause it really breaks her heart.

5. i wrote a song about my two contacts-wearing friends.

laura;
thankyou! idk why you don't like to write the real names of people when you thank them, or else how would they know it's them, especially slow in the mind people like me.
love all the late-night history lessons over sms-es and random assortment of things we talk about from boys to moisturizers to candy floss.
thankyou, miss i-have-nice-smelling-hair.

oh&yy! i'm so sorry i cancelled on you today.
no matter what, i'm treating you to cookies the next we go out.

i realized something.
okay, so it's not the earth-shattering-isaac-newton-under-the-apple-tree kind of realization.

it's just,
you need two hands to clap.
you can't have a friendship with one person supporting the whole damn thing and two people aren't at loggerheads at each other if one of them is willing to make the change.

like me and nicole can actually talk to one another one like only on two neutral topics - guitar and grey's anatomy? and that's what, because we're not constantly rolling eyes and each other or cursing that the other should be banished to the fiery pits of hades.
and yet me and another ex-friend, ex-confidant, ex-person-i-bitch-about-other-too are like _______
(fill in the blank for the word that says we walk past each other but pretends that it's just mist blowing across our face, bitching to one another and somehow the bitching comes back in a full circle)

my brother's new goal for the week or something like that is to do a body wave.
and to be brutally honest, HE'S FAILING TERRIBLY.
thankgod he has no boobs or else it'll just be like bad, bad porn.

*me showing off bodywave*
bro: WALAUUU, SO COOL. I ALSO WANT TO DO.
me: you fail one, i pro.
bro: of course lah, you're in dance.
me: you WERE once in dance.
bro: being in dance is not the same thing as being able to dance.

famous last words from my brother.
well said, idiot, well said.
too bad he'll never read this or else he'll just be grinning his whole goddamned mouth off.

shucks for cedar not having a nerdy chess club or else i'll just pack my bags and quit my current cca.
cause i really hate dance so much that i'll rather spend the whole afternoon staring at black pieces of plastic on a checkered board than to see my distorted feet in the mirror and worse, my teacher scolding me over every single goddamned thing i do and dicing my ego up as if she's slicing tomatoes for dinner.

and i'm pretty sure i'm a better chess player than a dancer.
top student in my class, teacher's pet, coursemates adored me.
compared to this hellhole, i'm living in now,
ironically, i'll kill to play chess in cedar.

You are the best thing that's ever been mine.
-Taylor

-A-

2010-08-08T19:15:00.004+08:00

it's been exactly two months and three days since i last wrote a song,
and i feel like writing one for two people now.
but i can't find my songbook and that's tragic.
(i can't write without my songbook!!!!!gahhh.)

When all else fails, there's always me.

2010-08-08T13:09:00.002+08:00

"and we'll have sex on your favourite bedding!"
"she's not a virginnnnn!"
"HAHAHAHA,she had sex with a balloon!"

HAHA,horny dancers (or maybe it's just me, eleanor, yingyi and minru)

1. i(L)NDP celebrations where me and yingyi just wrap ourselves in some zi-high bubbles and start dancing and singing like madddd.
2. i(L)the stupid things we do during YOG, screaming at each other when we're 5storeys above ground, looking like major fail transported-from-ancient-china kind of people, doing math questions in the middle of nowhere, juniors bullying me on the bus and cheating the uncle at the old chang kee place just to get another stick of nuggets.
3. i wore my first pair ofcontacts ystd!!!! finally overcame the fear of putting foreign stuff into my eyeball(((((:
4. HOLIDAYYYY till wedneday and can pon half day of school on wednesday somemore((((:
5. SALT with yingyi tomorrow :DDDDDDD

spent 4o++ bucks on online shopping,
oh for the love of retail therapy.

GO GO GO GO! I COMMAND YOU TO GO LISTEN TO THE NEW TAYLOR SWIFT SONG.
TYPE 'MINE TAYLOR SWIFT WITH LYRICS' AT YOUTUBE AND LISTENNNN!
heart heart t-swift(:

love how i can bitch above the he-bitch even when he's just standing there.

-A-

2010-08-05T21:50:00.006+08:00

TAYLOR'S NEWEST SINGLE...
IS OUTTTTTT(leaked but yay!).

AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
i just fell in love with her all over again.

You remember, we were sittin' there, by the water
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Lovelovelove,
-A-

2010-08-03T21:24:00.003+08:00

*sniggers* *sniggers* *snigger*
KATE WALSH IS SOOO HOT!!!!

HAHA,ME IN HAPPY MOOD NOW CAUSE....
THERE'S. YOG. TOMORROW.
!!!!

and i finished more than half of my homework which is like MIRACULOUS since my classmates have labelled me as the-
'who never hand in physics report?'
'aiyah, confirm is algae one'

and i had an AWESOME time this afternoon playing(((:
YAYS for yingyi, laura, margie, crystal, joycelyn and wanxin!
&my kisses make laura feel loved. AWHHHH-

anyway,
kate walsh is forty-three.
SHE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE RIGHT? HEH, SO HOT!!!!

my itunes shuffled to whenever you remember.
my reaction? switch it up to some slutty slutty britney spears song.
see, stupid bitches ruined the beautiful song for me that i would choose any other song over it.

-A-

2010-08-02T20:59:00.003+08:00

sarah chen was my first best friend who i'd came to distrust.
she never took the secrets that i kept close to my heart seriously at all,
and when i asked her about hers she just told me facts she told the entire world.

she was the first; but not the last.
after how many tears, how many fits, how many arguments,
i should have been fucking smarter than to trust anyone again.

stupid, stupid promises. you break them anyway.

a word's just a word till you mean what you say,
and love isn't love till you give it away.

-A-

2010-08-02T20:29:00.002+08:00

even stars like taylor swift can cower in the corner, look up at the sky and ask,
what the fuck is happening to my life.

'even if i raise my hand up, they're not going to do anything. it's just going to be a waste of my arm muscles cause there's no fucking democracy in here at all. welcome to propoganda land.'

today's a horrible shit day.
1. I HATE DANCE. OKAY, WHY THE FUCK DID I JOIN. LIKE I THINK I'LL BE BETTER OFF IN CLDDS (my ex-cca) cause at least i will know how to write my chinese composition homework
2. LIARS, LIARS, JUST A FUCKING DEN FULL OF LIARS.
3. i lost my IKEA catalouge in the plush auditorium):
4. i smelt chlorine during chem lesson and mr chia told me that 'it would shorten your lifespan'
5. i have a ton of homework.

'there's no point investing in a friendship if it's not going to last'

okay, even if seniors are going read this, guess what, i'm not really going to care
(because i put a blog up to express myself while trying not the break the law or anything like that and it's not to pacify whoever's ego and bottle up all my insane feelings and die of conary heart disease)
so here we go.

'thankyou seniors for helping us in whatever we do, without you, we wouldn't have achieved whatever we have now. thankyou for the being pillars of support and being there whenever we need do. we love you!'

sounds familiar? i'm pretty sure it does.
in my opinion,
what's the stupid fucking point of writing the same old, same old letters to seniors when you know you don't mean a single thing at all and then when she opens up your letter she'll know that it's plastic-fake cause she knows you hate her to the bone for the rest of eternity or something like that.
okay, stupid cliche propoganda drives me up the wall and i have to get this off my chest.

i'm so goddamned tempted to like boycott dance's farewell and give my letters to the seniors whom i will truly write sincere notes to.

we gave up on you already,
sorry.

-A-

2010-08-01T22:52:00.001+08:00

sorry laura, i just read your blog.
i love you too.

2010-08-01T22:24:00.004+08:00

i need to learn to be as happy as taylor swift.
she's perpetually smiling for i don't know what reason.

but wait, maybe if i'm a twenty-year old with gorgeous skin and probably twenty closets full of chanel and ralph lauren, 4 grammys sitting in my kitchen and access to like five million dollars or something like that-
maybe i would be happy.

laura!
i know i said i love you and stuff over msn but right now, i feel like stabbing you. your sudden emo-ness has just like jumped striaght into my heart and not even country songs can make me feel any lighter. so much for trying to make you smile.

(the following paragraph is not directing at any intended individual)

you know what, maybe i am sick and tired of being called a bimbo.
and maybe i do care what you actually call me.
and maybe i'm not all that kind, caring, compassionate who takes everything in stride.
and maybe i, algae, moss or barnacle may actually have feelings.

(but this is for someone)

;
the reason why i hate my mother with all my gut sometimes is because she treats me as if i'm fucking invisible and i'm not there and that i don't have feelings and that she can make decisions for me for me entire life.
and maybe that's the reason why i'm hating you right now too.

{i'm your friend, not your daughter.}
{you're my friend, not my remote controller.}

goddd, ihate all these stupid friend-friend problems.
and i guess maybe that's why nerds make friends with calculators,
while i make friends with chemistry textbooks and musical instruments.
cause they'll always be there for you, no matter what.

the education system is so-called hollistic, all-arounded and all that good-morning-propoganda-shit.
we learn physics and trigo and how to construct buildings in an air-con room and leave the piling works and hammering to foreign workers.
we learn how to appreciate emily bronte and charles dickens and perfect grammar and our books are all printed by minimum wage workers from developing countries.
we learn how to create ammonia by the haber process and how our human heart works and yet millions in the world never got to feel what science can actually impact on their lives.
in my opinion, it's downright stupid.
and SEL, where the syllabus setters say hey, i'm teaching you on how to say no to sex and depression.
point taken,
but they never work don't they.
i bet teenagers are like the saddest bunch of people (i've never been through mid-life crisis so maybe i'm biased) in the whole entire friggin world and it gets WORSE, AND WORSE AND WORSE just because-

WE.DON'T.LEARN.HOW.TO.BE.FUCKING.HAPPY.

we learn to be smart,
to be rich,
to be popular, famous and hey-i'm-paris-hilton.

but in the end, we cry ourselves to sleep, kill ourselves with sleeping pills, cut ourselves with razors, i don't know.
and i really feel like not caring.

(you see, laura. you're influential.)

and just a word of thought;
scholars are awesome. they're like awesome classmates, perfect tutors and great friends to talk to. don't discrminate them just because they're what, chinese, indonesian? and everytime they get straight As, you're like 'scholars what, no biggie'.
well, you're wrong then.
cause they're people, and you're a retard.

(and a life of a scholar ain't easy. we all think that it's all red and rosy cause they have brains inflated with like dictionaries and textbooks. but it's not.)

ohgodddd,
i really think i'm either going to panadol myself to sleep or bawl my eyeballs out tonight.
or both.

ben should really appear now,
since denise says that i grin like an idiot when i'm talking to him one-to-one during yog.

i want to learn how to wear contacts.

this post is random and rambling,
-A-

2010-08-01T12:56:00.003+08:00

so this practically sums up the state of my facebook wall.
attempted counting the number of 'happy birthday' to show off to my brother but gave up after 46.
but bottom line: thankyou(:

but my fifteenth birthday is probably THE WORST birthday i ever had.

1. i fell asleep waiting for the first birthday sms of the day.
2. and woke up at 1330, thus sleeping half my birthday away.
3. MY SIS FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY. that made me want to cry.
4. MY OLDER BROTHER FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY.
5. and pretty much the rest of my family forgot my birthday.
6. i got scolded on my birthday, apparently my mom doesn't really care about the birthday part.
7. I DIDN'T A KEYBOARD FOR MY BIRTHDAY):
8. and i couldn't spend it with yingyi)))):
9. i ended up spending a large chunk of my birthday with halogens and alkali earth metals.
10. i'm old now.

but obviously,
some people did make me happy.

1. I LOVE MY CHINESE SCHOLAR PARTNER(: she's probably the sweetest person on earth. okay, so her present wasn't any diamond bracelet from tiffany's but it's the thought that counts. i know how much she absolutely hates writing in english and yet she wrote my birthday note in english!
2. thankyou dancers - yingyi, minru, junica, joey... thanks for the 'happy birthday to algae moss barnacle' song and the really sweet and sincere sms-es.
3. thankyou jeremy for the birthday cake.
4. thankyou ben! (not that he'll see this in three thousand years) even though i know facebook alerted him (and probably 99percent of the well-wishers), i'm still elated!
5. taylor swift currently sings a song about me((((:

IT'S FREEZING NOW.
LIKE OMG, i'm wearing two pairs of socks on my feet and the windows are ALL closed.
hot air is supposed to rise, and i live in a flat, so it's supposed to be blistering hot and not like welcome-to-the-artic-circle.
I.HATE.THE.COLD.
AND.THE.WET.

okay, i missed out the spam-blogger-with-taylor's-face thing.
nevermind! next post.

gahhh,there's school tomorrow):

pssst, ILY, laura(:

-A-

2010-07-29T21:34:00.005+08:00

TAYLOR SWIFT IS GOING TO HAVE A NEW ALBUM!!!!!

and i'm like over the moon/stars/mars/jupiter/pluto
OMGGGGGG.
i'm exhilarated/ecstatic/rapturous AKA HAPPYYYY!
her newest single will be debuting on 16august(((((:
it's like a belated birthday present from herrrrrr.
LIKE OMG. THANK YOU TAYLOR!!!!

and i'm going to make sure for the next 5posts or something like that, i'm just going to spam blogger with taylor swift's dazzling eyes, stunning figure, flawless face and gorgeous smile.
MOVE OVER, BOYS.
taylor's so hot it should be illegal.

okay.i'm still very happy and i'm not thinking straight.
YAY YAY YAY YAY. new album!!!!
i'm going to upload the album asap once they release it.
25th october! i can't wait((((:

moving on - yess,thank god.
tomorrow's sports day!
good luck to gardenia, oleander and ixora(((:
may the best team win!

oh&yes, you know what,
i think sports is the most boring school event ever - okay maybe not, speech day sucks, meet the parents' ouyang talk's even worse.
BUT IT'S BAD.
like it's a total waste of time. like seriously, i'd rather coop myself with miss chin doing modulus or trigo or whatever than to sit there, watch rose cheer or see the people run or hear the announcer's scratchy voice over the ancient PA.
hence, i'm putting my nerd specs on and i'm going to do homework during sports day tomorrow!

1. laura pranked me with a plastic cockroach.
2. and my scream was how the 11inch barbie doll would have sounded like if she had a voice.
3. i almost jumped onto laura's lap.
4. I TOTALLY EMBARASSED MYSELF.

godddd, laura.

OHYAY! THERE'S YOG TOMORROW but i'm not going to hyperventilate over any 18year old boys
CAUSE I LOVE TAYLOR MORE THAN ANY RED-BLOODED MALE/FEMALE ON EARTH(((((:

ohwait, i MUST blog about this.
during my crashing attempt at gardenia's cheer today, i saw a bunch of people.

and i said, 'even gaga doesn't wear leggings on one leg'
you'll understand when you see it tomorrow.

-A-

2010-07-25T23:39:00.003+08:00

i can't find a picture that describes how i'm feeling now,
and that makes me sad.

but there are many, many, many more things that makes me happy.

1. i think i'm friends with krystal again!!! i think she's okay with me since we've had fun talking all the way through during ouyang's speech and discussing what subjects we want to take when we're in JC. let's hope i don't screw this up another time.

2. YOG makes me happy despite i have to bark/scream/holler at the dancers cause sometimes ARGH, it just gets into my way. thirty seconds till you're due to perform and you're not in your positions?! -SCREAMS- and me and yingyi just love being hoisted meters above the ground cause it's so fun standing there, being blur and in your own happy bubble.

3. and a boy makes me even happier(: he talked to me! (yeah, and get on with life. sometimes, people need to learn to accept that teenage girls, even the abnormal, have crushes on the most unrealistic people. he's attached, i get it. yingyi loves chace crawford, yeah, but he's in america.)

4. meet the parent session was awesome. good grades = happy teachers = happy parents = happy me.

5. and i've realized that when you put winning aside, you feel lighter and happier. i get this shoulder-shrugging, gappy-teeth-kind-of-sweet-grin feeling when i just lay on garde's mats and tease juniors and poking fun of yingyi. or when i crash ixora's practice. or when i crash ole's practice. okay, i realize i'm crashing way too many house's cheer practices.

6. and making friends with six-pack boys are fun. HAHA,i hope minru doesn't read this.

but to burst my endorphin-filled bubble, there's school tomorrow.
the weekend passes wayyy to quickly.

yingyi;
you're not a horrible lousy friend. anyone who can put out with my nonsense rambling about boys, vampires and humand alike, my frequent bouts of violents and mile-long strings of profanities, is an awesome friend. east coast park? we can go together. jumping off cedar? count me in.

just remember,
there's always me.

-A-

2010-07-21T22:05:00.002+08:00

okay, so for a start, i guess i could say HAPPY RACIAL HARMONY DAY?
but since it's not a school or a public holiday, it's not exactly a happy day in my dictionary.

laoshi walked out on us today.
okay, so she didn't walk out today, she is going to walk out on us.
she's giving up on us.
she gave the i'm-so-sick-and-tired-of-facing-a-bunch-of-brats talk and yeah, we're going to get a substitute teacher and blah, I'M GOING TO FAIL MY CHINESE LAH.
fuckkkk, i finally began passing every exam under laoshi and then poof, she drops from under my world and yay, whatever, chinese Os are in what, less than 4months.

dancing in the acid rain.
staying up late till 12plus to do morning reflections script/powerpoint/chiong trigo homework.
stressssss.
it's finally taken a toll on me.
i'm nursing a new-york-sized headache and vomitted twice this morning. UGH.
and i'm suffering from an allergy attack from YOG food. GODDDD.

i realized my paragraphs have hardly any coherence to it, but who cares.
i'm not going to blog in the P-E-E-L format for god's sake.

stereotypes.
i'm being bored whatever but i have my bearings homework next to me, it's excusable.
i'm not going to be whatever VIP that came cedar that day and talked about his overly dramatic malay-chinese-indian-gangster-friend-he-gave-me-a-pen-and-asked-me-to-do-well-for-my-studies-then-he-got-chopped-up story.
(hey, i summarized his entire talk in one sentence)

i've given up on the 'you're bimbo!' 'why?' 'cause you're a dancer?' thing.
our entire lives (okay,maybe not), we've learnt to classify stuff and we even dedicated chapters of our primary school textbooks on studying classification of animals, plants, bacteria blah blah blah.
and you're telling me not to sterotype people and group them up like what we do with gorillas and polar bears?
i know i don't like being streotyped as miss-barbie-aka-dancer, but no one actually cares do they.
just like, the platypus may not like being called a mammal.
maybe they're trying to tell us 'hey, i lay goddamned eggs. make me part of the chicken family!'
just like how double sciences people sometimes just like to diss themselves.
and teachers just looooove to think that trip sciences people are like goddess and we can solve an inhuman physics question known to mankind.
and i realize, i have no bottom line to this paragraph.

okay,whatever,i've given up on doing math homework.
oooh.i have a fever! just awesome.

-A-

2010-07-18T13:48:00.002+08:00

someone needs to remind me to blog cause i keep on forgetting.

current mood: pissed.
and maybe that's the whole reason why i kept hanging out with juniors ystd.
cause idk, they ARE happy and maybe it's supposed to be infectious or whatever but i tend to forget that i'm a bitchy sec3 who is hated by mankind that kind of thing when i'm playing concentration with the sec1s.
and fuck the teachers who go 'you're representing cedar, don't screw around with me',
goddddd, we wait like up to 2 plus hours in a row and what do you want us to do?
like hey, i brought my trigo notes and did my homework alrd, and i can't even enjoy myself?

yay! and i love the YOG people.
there's this super, super COOL and smart like nobody's business guy who tests me what is sin45degrees when we're elevated 7storeys above ground and my life is kind of like in possible danger. and he wishes me goodluck for chinese listening on tuesday, i alrd feel good(:
and there's alan, awesome hip-hop dancer and he's hilarious. like he's a downright stand-up comedian who's good at whatever he does.
and somehow, YOG just seems less painful when you have all this nice people to talk to(:

okay, happy commerical break is over. time for me to bitch.

irony of the day;
i swear at my friends. people like yingyi. i'll just go 'fuck youuuuu' and she's fuck me back that kind of stuff cause we live in our profanity-and-depression-filled bubble but we know we've got each others back, yeah.
and yet, i'm on my utmost behaviour which people who irk me. like i won't roll my eyes at them, curse them or even get violent (i'll get to that part later). i'll just pretend to love them when i don't.
hypocritical bitch, yep, that's what you ordered.

ohkay,
someone's currently on my i-want-to-punch-your-teeth-out-of-your-face list.
arghhh, not good for my heart health.
i cannot believe someone can actually be THAT stubborn and irresponsible.

oh&this part is the i-think-i-need-counselling part.
i think i'm violent. like i may grow up and adopt pets and scald them with boiling water, grab a husband from the supermarket and abuse him that kind of thing?
like seriously.
i punched denise in school that day. and she bled. like nose-bleed-waterfall kind of thing.
and i punched yy ystd during yog (sry, sry, sry!) and i was so worried she'd have a ruptured spleen or whatever.
godddd, at least you know that you're my friends.
maybe next time we hang out you'll need a bullet-proof vest and a million-dollar insurance.

everything just sounds better with 'fuck' in it.

-A-

2010-07-12T21:50:00.002+08:00

disclaimer:
this message is not directed at any person at all.

so after saturday's post went up, i got like this crazy amount of people thinking that it's them i'm referring to.
okay, i'm not going to comment on what what whatever,
cause if i wanted to say it i would have just typed your big and beautiful name out.
but i didn't;
so advice-
{if you didn't do anything wrong, then you're not the one, but if the guilt's starting to eat you, good morning, here's your wake-up call}

today was a horrible day and i was incredibly annoyed.
okay, so the people are thinking now, oh, so she does PMS and get pissed and snap out of her hyperactive and smiling bubble.
yeah, i do.

1. life's playing a trick on you when you realize you have two bio lessons in a day
2. and that you didn't do your math homework
3. and that your whole class spent 28 minutes arguing on 1 mark to get their A1
4. and that you didn't run your fastest bestest whatever for heats
5. and that you find out you need to perform dance in front of the whole school
6. and that your mom cuts your allowance from 20bucks to 12bucks
7. and yeah,
does your life get any worse?

life sucks, shop online.
retail therapy never leaves your alone,
it's always there to fill you with endorphins.

and when it comes down to one of those days,
i realize that my books and my guitar brings and smile on my face.

laura;
goodluck for oral tmr! i blogged about you, as promised(:

-A-

2010-07-11T11:38:00.002+08:00

okay, you know what.
it's soooo hard to play good guy. so goddamned hard.
to be the one who's responsible, the one who makes sense, the one who doesn't get lost in some warped fantasy.
yay, whatever, i'm going back on my principles that i hate pertty face bitches and etc.
but don't you think it's way easier to be the one that doesn't do homework and mutter fuck you behind the teacher's back, be the oh-so-i'm-a-barbie-doll person who hooks up with every red-blooded human with a dick, or treat life as if it's a popularity contest kind of thing.
it's so, so, so, so much less tiring.

(yeah, and making enemies is less exhausting than keeping friends by your side i swear)

yingyi;
i'm not trying to publicise or whatever, it's just i don't have a phone with me, you're not online and i think sending emails are gay.
for a history kid, you're really bad at inference. why in the world would i bear a grudge on you, think that you're a fucked-up bitch who turns her back on everyone else, like hello, we're in the same boat. we both don't exactly love that person i am referring to. and for the last thing, you don't exactly care about the stunt-fight, do you?
and yeah, it's not you.
cause we're friends, and if it's you, i'll say it straight in your face.
like 'fuck you, yy'

yeah, so instead of obessing over really annoying and childish cheer politics(again, not you, yingyi),
i've taken liking to skin care products. like wheeeee.
it burns a hole in my wallet but then again, life's short and you can't exactly bring the cash into the crematorium so let's spend it and boost the economy and that ss jabber thing.

i.need.to.do.my.homework.
UGH.

-A-

2010-07-10T19:20:00.006+08:00

HAHAHA.WATCH THAT.
YESSSS, THAT THING UP THERE!!!

OKAY.so it isn't exactly funny but i just LOVE the way they diss the werewolves.
'JACOB RUNNN!'
'GRRRR'
'A CHIHUAHUA?!'
HAHAHAHAHAH.doggggg.
yeah, so that's a movie for those who couldn't stand teenage girls and their vampire/werewolf boyfriends.

hmmm&i havent' been posting for like A WEEK.
one whole week without a mile-long-string worth of complaints about my new teachers(well, i'm complaining now), no i hate dance banners strewn all over an-alternate-paradise.blogspot.com or yeah, bitching about bitches(ironic huh)

today was one helluva day. cheer at 7am and YOG till 4.30pm.
welcome the sad life of dance.
it's not all bright lights and pretty faces,
but more of sweat, acid rain and sunscreen.
BUT I HAD FUN.
cheer was awesome, i love the rose cheerleaders.
they're some crazy kpop people who never say never for everything.
and i have the WORLD'S COOLEST AND RETARD-EST JUNIORS, like seriously.
minru and her acs boyfriend (HAHA)
eunice and clarice with the song-singing in the bus (MY EARSSSS)
cherie and her rubber-band legs (LIKE SERIOUSLY)
okay, and 5year old yingyi with her bangs, suyu with her fried-up but seriously funny brain.
OHGODDD, i get abs from just laughing.

yeah, but there are extreme ends to dancers too.
you have innocent secone kids
AND
bloody motherfucking bitches who lie as it's a part of their everyday regime.
LIKE SERIOUSLY.

(oh and i forgot to mention my juniors are HORNY people. HAHAH. they're like licking each other's faces!!!! SERIOUSLYYYY.)

('like seriously' is my newest phrase after 'fuck you', i learnt it from grey's anatomy)

okay, so you know on like hydrochloric acid and ethanol, there's like a sticker that says 'corrosive' or 'highly flammable' right?
i'm pasting on for this part of my post, 'bitch-sive' and 'highly vulgar' and 'ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK'

LIKE SERIOUSLY.
friends fight over boyfriends.... money... studies... idk, something normal in the education system.
and what, we fight over puny, insignificant stunts.
FUCKING CHEERLEADING STUNTS.
yeah, my voice is so incredulous as i'm reading whatever i'm typing out.
okay, so yeah, apparently, winning cheerleading championships are SOOOO IMPORTANT that you turn back on everyone else, make everyone oh-so-fucking-pissed-off, and become a reincarnation of satan, the ruler of all evil.
so blah, blah, blah. i don't really care who reads this. i need to let it all out.

next,
fuck fuck fuck you.
you're the worst fucked up, lying, fake bitch EVER.
you're like a talking bitch, a walking bitch, a BREATHING BITCH.
a person is far better off being a slutty whore with AIDS or SARS or something like that than BEING YOU.

OKAY AND YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT. I'M TYPING THIS IN CAPS CAUSE I HOPE THIS IS THE VERY, VERY, FUCKING LAST TIME I HAVE TO SAY THIS. LIKE ONCE AND FOR ALL AND THIS IS THE BOTTOM LINE, FUCK YOU, AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I. AM. NOT. IN. CHEER.

LIKE SERIOUSLY, HOW HARD CAN IT GET FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE AT LEAST 8YEARS OF EDUCATION TO NOT UNDERSTAND THE FIVE WORDS. LIKE DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN ANUEURYSM AND YOU KEEP ON THINKING THAT I'M HELPING ROSE CHEER BECAUSE I'M GOING TO JOIN IT OR I WANT TO BE CAPTAIN OR IDK, LIKE I HAVE SOME EVIL I-WANT-TO-TAKE-OVER-THE-WORLD-SECRET-PLAN OR I JUST HAVE SELFISH NEEDS TO BE FUFILLED.

FUCK NO,
if you don't understand the 'i am not in cheer' part, it's okay dumbass. but you can just quit talking to anybody and everybody about what i'm helping rose cheer cause i'm a manipulative bitch who is going to kick a lower sec out and join cheer eventually and will rob the captain position from daphne.
because not everyone is as fucked-up as you,

i help rose cheer because i want them to win? seriously. and it's fun despite the late nights going through positionings and hour-long telephone calls with daphne and list of shit i write down during boring bio lesssons. SERIOUSLY. i don't expect any reward. i don't expect to hold the whatever cheerleading trophy(no such thing yeah, but still) or control the cheerleadings as if i'm like evil mojojo from powerpuff girls. major decision makings are in the hands of the cheerleaders, other stuff under the control of daphne.
i'm like their MOTHER. the one who constantly nags at daphne to quickly set up practices, the one who has to ask the whole team to pay attention to the music, the one who drag mats after mats, the one who just jeopardizes her entire social life by making enemies with other houses for the sake of the team.

and no i'm not being i-died-on-the-cross-see-i'm-so-sacrificial. I'M JUST SAYING, FYI.
and don't go around, quote-quote from my blog and say that i'm just a bitch. LIKE SCREW YOU.

------------------------END OF CRAZY JABBER----------------------------

OHHHH, HEY EVERYONE TAKING BIO.
WE'RE GETTING ONE MORE MARK FOR OUR EXAM CAUSE QUESTION 23 IS LIKE SCREWED UPPPP!
YAY!!! and i think 3M's the one who kept on fighting for our marks. LIKE YAY, YAY, YAY.

i should stop reading medical books, i'm freaking people out with the you-may-have-a-heart-attack talk.
what's wrong with me.

-A-

2010-07-04T15:12:00.004+08:00

that's riley the ruler of victoria's newborn army from eclipse.
and no, i'm not infactuating over a 26year old guy.
it's for yingyi to hyperventilate.

i want to be a vampire.
and no, it's not because i want adrian ivashkov, my make-believe vampire boyfriend to marry me and carry me into the sunset.
vampires don't die, that's one awesome thing, no need to worry about hypertension, blocked arteries, liver cancer and brain tumours.
vampires can kill people, so when i'm pms-ing or when my teachers are behaving like a whiny bitches, i jump out of my seat, snap their head off and drain them off blood and not get in jail.
vampires are hot and smart, you would realize that those authors never portray vampires as creepy creatures, they even make you think that red-eyed creatures are dazzling and stunning.
hence, I WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE NOW.

reason for my sudden i'm-offering-a-neck-to-bite-vamps-any-takers,
I HAVE AN INSUFFERABLE ITCH TO MURDER MY MOM NOW.

me: mom, i have 6As and i got B3 for my chinese. AWESOME OR WHAT.
mom: do you want ice-cream?

if you would realize there is no suddent exclamation of 'GOOD JOB', or 'THAT'S THE WAY, ATTA GIRL'.
nothing, fucking nothing.
i stay up late to 2 in the morning doing fucking annoying surds and logarithmns, my mom doesn't even compliment me.
nicole gets a iphone for 6As, i get FUCKING CHEAPSKATE ICECREAM.
and i'm not a whiny bitch or a spoilt brat, hey, i'm asking for my mom to say 'good job', i'm not asking for a million dollars, FYI.
and even though i love my mom to buy me piano to celebrate my goddamned 6As, I'M NOT ASKING FOR IT. I DIDN'T ASK HER FOR IT.
OKAY, I'M FUCKING PISSED. THERE'S NO POINT IN STUDYING IS THERE.
oh wait, there is,
then my mom says, 'how come you didn't get A1 for bio'.

went out with yy and irene finally to watch eclipse, yay.
the movie was o-kay but it was the fun we had after the movie.
yy likes half-naked and fat werewolves (taylor launter) and pale, red-eyed vampires (riley above)
yuck.
and according to yy, i'm a four-timer. i don't even know who i love. adrian ivashkov, yes.
and i think irene enjoys coughing and eating sushi while watching the movie.

oh&i had yog ystd. it fucking sucks big time.
ian's girlfriend hates me now, apparently. oh blah, not that i'd liked her anyway.
&yog's propoganda (in fact everything is),
you see the rosy painted picture on CNN and how we all work among the races and we love each other and all that fucking bullshit,
we all know it's not that at all.
we curse at justine the bitch (the instructor), whine when we have to start dancing, split ourselves up as if it's the indian caste system and raise eyebrows at the acs guys.
that's the real picture.

okay, and since the whole i-want-to-be-rose-cheer-captain, fiasco's over,
rose's captain is:
daphne ho whatever-her-chinese-name-is.
and vice-captain is:
a sec two called megan.
and for the last time, I'M NOT IN CHEER.
thankyou very much.

-A-